Empty Arms: Coping After Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death [Paperback]

Sherokee Ilse (Author)

Book Description

ISBN-10: 0960945660 | ISBN-13: 978-0960945665 | Publication Date: October 30, 2008 | Edition: 20th, Revised & enlarged

Surviving the First Hours and Beyond

Revised and updated! This classic book is one of the first given to newly bereaved parents to offer guidance in decision-making after their baby's death and to assist caregivers as they support families. Empty Arms encourages families to meet their babies and say hello before rushing to say goodbye. With compassion that comes from Sherokee and David's experience of having lived through the death of their son Brennan, the book offers guidance and practical suggestions for the decision-making at the time (including why and how one might see, hold, and memorialize one's baby) and over time (such as how to handle such times as anniversaries, holidays and the birth of other babies in the parents' close circle.)

Family and friends can learn how to understand the loss and be supportive of the bereaved families.

It offers ongoing support about subjects such as returning to work or to life, couple grieving, surviving children, feeling guilty, having another child or not, and feeling lonely.

With over 300,000 in print, this book touches the hearts of families at the time of their loss and over time as they heal.

An excellent bibliography and resource section are included.

Editorial Reviews

Review

I wish the hospital had given me Empty Arms to read immeditately; instead I finally found it and opened it a month later. If someone had read it to me right then, especially the section 'Decisions You Might Face Right Away,' my regrets would have been so much less. Sherokee's gentle words and advice could have guided us to make better decisions after Bryce died and would have informed us of options that we didn't even know about. Her comforting messages touched us, and we felt less alone and crazy during our grief journey. -- --Lori Martini, bereaved mom/stillbirth advocate

Thank you for your lovely book, which we were given before our baby was even delivered. It gave us the courage to make the hard decisions that proved to be the medicine to mend our broken hearts. -- --Debbie Crippen

This book was a tremendous inspiration to my patients. I feel you have done a great service to bereaved parents --Stephen Larson, M.D., Ob-Gyn

Thank you for your lovely book, which we were given before our baby was even delivered. It gave us the courage to make the hard decisions that proved to be the medicine to mend our broken hearts. -- --Debbie Crippen

This book was a tremendous inspiration to my patients. I feel you have done a great service to bereaved parents --Stephen Larson, M.D., Ob-Gyn

About the Author

Sherokee Ilse has had many personal experiences with loss which motivated her to reach out to others to aid them in their grief work. She has suffered a miscarriage, full term stillbirth, and an ectopic pregnancy and has two living children. Sherokee helped create a national non-profit organization which she directed for ten years, authored many books including her most popular one, Empty Arms (over 300,000 in print) and has served as a bereavement support professional, a consultant, and international trainer for over 27 years.

A guest on Oprah, Donohue and many other radio and televison shows, she continues her mission to promote compassion, understanding, and excellent care for these special families.

Product Details

• Paperback: 104 pages
• Publisher: Wintergreen Press, Inc.; 20th, Revised & enlarged edition (October 30, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0960945660
• ISBN-13: 978-0960945665
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.3 x 0.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (32 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #97,818 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Sherokee Ilse, a Mpls author, has written/co-written over 17 books and booklets on infant loss and bereavement as the result of her miscarriages and the fullterm stillbirth of her son. Her first and most popular book, Empty Arms: Coping with Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Death has over 300,000 copies in print, and has recently been revised.

Ms. Ilse has been a guest on Oprah and Donahue and many local, regional, and national radio and tv shows. As a respected international speaker/trainer on grief and loss, she has given thousands of talks during the last almost 3 decades. Her practical, friendly speaking style earns her comments like this one, "I feel like we spent the day having tea together."
With a background as a teacher, a founder of both a private school and a national non-profit pregnancy and infant loss organization, and a parent advocate, she has inspired and learned from many. "Traveling to New Zealand, Australia, Scotland, England, and Japan to speak to international audiences lately, has shown me how universal parenthood and grief are. It doesn't matter what our cultures are, we who have had babies die are intimately connected and understand each others' heartache and love...a love that goes on forever."

Sherokee's personal experiences and her philosophy to leave the world a better place, continue to motivate her to reach out to others in need.

She is a bereaved mother (miscarriage-Marama, stillbirth-Brennan, ectopic pregnancy-Bryna)and is also (gratefully) the mother of two living sons. Ms. Ilse also has business experience consulting on communication and team-building and enjoys the creativity of making things for others (beading, arts, crafts, needle-work, and sewing.)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Simple format makes it helpful, February 2, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: Empty Arms: Coping After Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death (Paperback)

This is a good book if you want something simple. It is in the question, answer format and fairly short. You can easily find what you are looking for without having to search through the other stuff you don't want to think about right now. It would have been extremely helpful right when my son died. It would be good for the hospitals to give out. It didn't have as many stories of other couples (they do help you to feel less alone) as I would have liked, though. There is some advice on how to go on and answers to questions I would not have even thought of, though so I do recommend it. It shouldn't be the only book you buy on loss, but if you can afford more than one, get this one.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Not impressed with the book., May 20, 2007

By 

D. Kennington "Medieval History Buff" (Oklahoma City) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Empty Arms: Coping After Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death (Paperback)

This book is written as a personal advice journal. There are very few things that are of use to my husband and I in dealing with the stillbirth of our son after the funeral. Most of the advice is centered around dealing with the news itself, the delivery, notifying family and friends. If you enjoy a book that is like reading a personal diary of one woman, this book is for you. I personally did not care for it as the situations discussed were behind my husband and I by the time we read it. We found that "A Silent Sorrow" was a better fit for helping us handle long term issues beyond the first week.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very informative and supportive., November 9, 1999

By 

ANGIE STORZ ([e-mail]) (United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Empty Arms: Coping After Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death (Paperback)

This book has it all. It covers real emotions from someone that's "been there." It helped me to understand and accept my own feelings. It also helped my family and friends understand what I was going through. I have talked with several grieving parents and have recommended this book to each one of them.