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An Empty Lap: One Couple's Journey to Parenthood
 
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An Empty Lap: One Couple's Journey to Parenthood [Paperback]

Jill Smolowe (Author)
3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)

Price: $19.95 & eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over $25. Details
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Book Description

October 1, 1998
"Joe and I had been forthright about children. I was pretty sure I wanted them, Joe was pretty sure he didn't. Since we each perceived in the other some room for movement, the difference didn't worry us. Then priorities shifted, needs changed...."

In her late thirties, journalist Jill Smolowe's life and career at Time magazine was on track. Her husband, Joe, was still her most trusted confidante and best friend. And now that she and Joe had decided finally to have a child, Jill assumed the pregnancy that had come so easily to all the women in her family would be her own next chapter. But nature had a different script in mind.

As her quest for a child swerved from the roller coaster of infertility procedures toward the baffling maze of adoption options, Jill's desperation deepened -- while Joe's resistance to children only hardened. In the fog of depression, disappointments, and dead ends, their marriage began to founder. Then, halfway around the world, in Yangzhou, China, she encountered a future she'd never imagined might be hers.

Honest and intimate, An Empty Lap is as much a window on a marriage as on a high-stakes baby chase. Compelling, beautifully told and as insightful as a novel, it's filled with emotions that anyone who has yearned for a child will recognize.


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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

How do you become a parent? In journalist Jill Smolowe's An Empty Lap, the journey to parenthood joins the "coming of age" book as a meaningful description of the passage from one stage of life to another. In her late 30s, Smolowe wanted a baby. Her husband Joe was, at best, ambivalent. An Empty Lap is about physical and emotional journeys: the Smolowes travel through doubts and resistance, fertility treatments, desperation, and depression; from doctor's office to doctor's office, vials of sperm in hand, to adoption agencies; and finally, from New York to China to full parenthood. An Empty Lap is well written and moving, but never sappy. And even though we know the positive outcome from the beginning, the process is both what fascinates and what is important. An Empty Lap is a journey deep into one couple's relationship. That Smolowe shares their innermost processes with us feels like a gift. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

The New York Times Book Review COMPELLING....DEEPLY MOVING....EMINENTLY READABLE.

USA Today [A] heartwrenching account...readers of either gender will relate.

Entertainment Weekly Engrossing....Smolowe's unromanticized understanding of what it takes for two highly opinionated adults to work through some of coupledom's most stressful challenges is what gives this book its appeal....She makes compelling general-interest reading out of a special-interest subject.

Deborah Tannen, Ph.D. Author of You Just Don't Understand and Talking from 9 to 5 Reading An Empty Lap is like staying up all night listening to a friend filling you in on the important events in her life. You know how things turned out, but you want to hear all the details. Jill Smolowe's honesty is compelling. It's like a thriller, only the terrain is emotional.

Kay Redfield Jamison Author of An Unquiet Mind and professor of psychiatry, The Johns Hopkins School of Medicine Extraordinarily moving, and wonderfully written, An Empty Lap is one woman's account of love, hope, lost hope, and then, finally, great and well-earned joy. The book is completely engaging. Jill Smolowe and her husband endured much to adopt a child but, when at last they succeed, their delight is utterly and boundlessly contagious. The complexities and resilience of their love story are woven together in a riveting way.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Pocket Books; 1edit edition (October 1, 1998)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0671004379
  • ISBN-13: 978-0671004378
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.6 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,867,243 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Jill Smolowe is author of the memoir An Empty Lap: One Couple's Journey to Parenthood and co-editor of the anthology A Love Like No Other: Stories from Adoptive Parents. Her book collaborations include John F. Kennedy Jr. and Mad Genius. An award-winning journalist, she was a foreign affairs writer for Newsweek and Time, and is currently a Senior Writer at People. Her work has also appeared in the New York Times, the Washington Post Magazine, the Boston Globe, Reader's Digest and Adoptive Families. She and her daughter divide their time between New Jersey and Pennsylvania's Endless Mountains.

 

Customer Reviews

30 Reviews
5 star:
 (14)
4 star:
 (4)
3 star:    (0)
2 star:
 (1)
1 star:
 (11)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
3.3 out of 5 stars (30 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars An Exquisitely Powerful Story of Adoption and Parenthood, March 8, 2002
By A Customer
Jill Smolowe's book, "An Empty Lap,' was one of the most powerful books I have read in a decade. I would highly recommend it to anyone who has an interest in learning about the adoption process and the challenges of fertility. It details the author's personal quest to have a child. 'An Empty Lap' is extremely well written and easy to read. The story is both heartwarming and heartbreaking. It recounts the travails of the available medical interventions explored to counter the couples' fertility problems. I personally found this section most informative. When the author and her husband finally began to research the adoption process, some of the roadblocks and setbacks they faced were devastating. I have since met numerous people who faced similar experiences in the adoption process. It is painful to know that there are so many wonderful children needing adoption and that the actual process of adoption can be so arduous. Their personal experiences while adopting a Chinese child were informative, encouraging and a great starting point for anyone interested in exploring the possibilities of adopting abroad. Jill is an award-winning journalist and rarely agrees to do television interviews. When they ran her story in People Magazine, she agreed to do a number of television interviews because the topic was so personal and powerful for her. This book is a treasure and would be a welcomed addition to your own personal library. After reading it, you will want to recommend it to anyone considering adoption. Reader's Digest felt so highly about the book that they featured it worldwide in a range of languages in condensed versions. I think it is worth reading the original book cover to cover. You would not want to miss any detail of this bittersweet story. It will certainly touch you forever. I feel very comfortable giving 'An Empty Lap' a five-star rating.
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9 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars Ugh!, October 25, 1999
By A Customer
I agree with the reviewer who found this couple "loathsome and selfish." I am also struggling with infertility, and hoped to find some words of wisdom in this book. What I got was a picture of a marriage that the husband clearly didn't want to be in and that seemed incredibly dysfunctional. I admire Ms. Smolowe's honesty, but she clearly planned to bring a child into a marriage with an "absentee live-in father." Why? I was also never fully convinced that she really wanted a baby, as opposed to feeling obligated to "have it all." I was happy to see that it all seemed to work out in the end (the "baby-saves-marriage" theme) but I wonder if there isn't more to the story. It was most helpful and inspiring when she stuck to their attempts to make the adoption decisions, but the marriage was so troubling that I questioned the author's sense of responsibility.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Courageous book, March 8, 2002
By A Customer
Anyone dealing with infertility or considering adoption will be well served by reading this book. The author does not sugar coat. She is honest and open, which is as refreshing as it is painful -- and leaves you feeling much less alone. Nor is she afraid to speak about the way these issues threaten to tear up the very bases of a marriage. This is not an easy book to read -- but you come out the other end much wiser about the true nature of the issues.
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