From the Author
It was during my younger daughter's freshman year at college that my wife and I began to notice that many things were different in our home. We always knew the location of the television remote control and portable telephone. Most of the lights in the house were not on all of the time. Articles of our clothing were no longer mysteriously vanishing. Kitchen cabinets and drawers were always closed. We realized that we had become what we and our friends had joked about for years. We were true Empty Nesters.
This was the inspiration that resulted in the creation of this entertaining book. The introduction states that, This book is dedicated to all of the parents of the world who, after years of paying parental dues, have become what is often and affectionately referred to as Empty Nesters. This means your children are gone. Out of the house. Living somewhere else. Life has taken on a new reality. The humor in this book is also applicable to those parents who are not true Empty Nesters as many of the What's different situations apply to parents of pre-adolescent children.
This comical book is a reflection of my philosophy that there is humor in virtually every aspect of life and in every life situation. The main purpose in writing the book was to provide parents with an opportunity to smile and laugh at those kids related situations that have caused, and continue to cause, frustration, exasperation, and often anger. It is not a let's beat up the kids' book. Actually, most parents will see themselves in many of the situations in the book, either when they were a kid, or perhaps even now as an adult.
The book also contains over sixty comical illustrations. Many of the illustrations depict inanimate objects speaking which enhances the books overall humor. We cannot help but smile and be amused when we see a washing machine or an empty orange juice container talking.
The most enjoyable aspect of writing humor is that as long as you start with a truthful or relatively truthful premise, you are permitted to distort or twist that truth to the point where it becomes farcical and quite preposterous. For example, in the book I cite a press release by the National Association of Telephone Cord Engineers regarding stretched and tangled telephone cords. In the chapter titled The Laundry, there is reference to a documented study by the Dirty Laundry Federation.
This is what humor is all about. You take a real life situation that may cause some form of tension or annoyance, and then exaggerate it to the point where it becomes so absurd that it is humorous. Then we can laugh at the situation and see it from a different perspective.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
From The Family Room: What's different -- You always know where the remote controls for the television and stereo are located. The days of having to look under every pillow on the couch, on the side of the recliner, in the bathroom, in the kitchen, etc., to hopefully find the remotes, are over. (with illustration)
From The Kitchen: What's different -- There are no longer any empty, or 99% empty, milk or orange juice containers in the refrigerator. Breakfast takes on a new meaning. Now you can be assured that you will have milk with your cereal and coffee or tea, as well as a glass of juice. (with illustration)
From The Boomerang Effect: This last chapter is not meant to disturb you, annoy you, or frighten you. But you must be aware, before you become too complacent regarding your Empty Nester status that, like New England weather, situations regarding kids can change quickly. CAUTION: You may want to be seated before reading the following: There are times when kids may come home to live with you and terminate (hopefully only temporarily) your status as Empty Nesters. This does not mean semester breaks or weekends, but TO LIVE WITH YOU.
