From Publishers Weekly
In 1972, when the author was six, her nine-year-old brother, Ted, developed huge bruises all over his body. Diagnosed with aplastic anemia, a rare immune deficiency disease, Ted lived in a sterile hospital "bubble room" until his death eight years later. In this beautifully written account, DeVita, a science journalist, describes how Ted's life and death have affected her and, drawing on 77 interviews with others who have lost siblings, examines a subject that has largely been overlooked. DeVita considers survivors, rather than academicians or researchers, to be the real experts on this subject. Many gripping stories are told by brothers and sisters of all ages, including those who have endured the death of a twin. In order to protect their other children and deal with their own grief, many parents, like DeVita's own, did not often discuss the deaths and, in a sense, deprived the surviving siblings of the mourning process. In haunting and evocative narratives, many of those interviewed share how they finally found a way, years later, to acknowledge their terrible loss. DeVita recalls her relationship with the brother who loved and teased her, as well as his bravery during the years of isolation when almost no one touched him. "Meredith," who suddenly lost her beloved teenage brother to cancer, now runs marathons in his memory, among other coping strategies. DeVita recounts the interviews she conducted with her own parents and movingly illuminates the tragic situation of her father, an oncologist, who could not save his own son, and her mother, who found the inner strength do her best for her dying son.
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Review
Alison Smith author of
Name All the Animals The Empty Room is one of those quietly revolutionary books. Through her own grief, through conscientious research and compassionate journalism, DeVita-Raeburn tells the story of a forgotten grief. In our culture, sibling grief is hidden. It is a nameless, faceless loss. DeVita-Raeburn gives these siblings a voice. And in doing so, she gives us back the story of our own lives.
Judith Guest author of
Ordinary People and
The Tarnished Eye This book is a factual description of my own fictional preoccupations, and I found myself thinking over and over:
The Empty Room is a book that could save lives. Elizabeth DeVita-Raeburn has offered a wonderful gift, an invaluable source for both solace and understanding. This book is not only for those who have lost siblings, but for all of us who have siblings and have struggled with the joys and mysteries of a mingled identity.
Andrew Solomon author of
The Noonday Demon The death of a sibling is a curiously neglected area in modern psychology, and in
The Empty Room, Elizabeth DeVita-Raeburn delves into this particular and poignant category of trauma. Her book is compassionate and generous and will be a great solace to people isolated in the pain of such loss.
Reeve Lindbergh author of
Under a Wing This is a brave, wise, and above all open-minded look at a truth that seems to have been ignored almost entirely: sibling love and sibling loss are as profound as any other experiences in our family lives and do impact us, enormously, forever. It's as if Elizabeth DeVita-Raeburn has opened a new window on a landscape I thought I knew, and suddenly, after all these years, I see my own home ground much more clearly.
Isadore Rosenfeld, M.D. Rossi Distinguished Professor of Clinical Medicine at New York Hospital Weil Cornell Medical Center and author of
The Best Treatment This moving book is a must-read for anyone who has lost a brother or sister (and for their parents as well) and needs help understanding and coping with their emotions.
Judy Dunn author of
Sisters and Brothers and professor at the Institute of Psychiatry, King's College, London This is a poignant exploration of a seriously neglected topic -- the impact of the death of a sibling. It is a moving contribution to our understanding of sibling relationships and will surely be helpful to those coping with the grief of bereavement.
Helen Rosen, Ph.D. author of
Unspoken Grief: Coping with Childhood Sibling Loss Elizabeth DeVita-Raeburn's
The Empty Room is a very welcome addition to the scant literature on sibling loss. In telling her own story, as well as the stories of those she interviewed for the book, DeVita-Raeburn draws us into the experience of both children and adults who have lost a brother or sister. It amazes me that sibling loss continues to go unrecognized as the potentially life-changing event that it is. Here's a book that acknowledges that pain and will help survivors begin to heal.
Joanna H. Fanos, author of
Sibling Loss The journalistic skills of DeVita-Raeburn, combined with her courage in sharing her own personal story of her complex responses and feelings to her brother's illness and death, have produced a book which represents a significant step in portraying the profound consequences of sibling loss. Her story is destined to reach the hearts of many readers, not only those of us whose personal journey of discovery and healing resonates with hers.
--This text refers to the
Paperback
edition.
