Customer Reviews

Empty Womb, Aching Heart: Hope and Help for Those Struggling With Infertility

5 star:		(14)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

This book is incredible. I read it last night and cried through most of it! As a Christian battling infertility, its so nice to hear the message that it's okay to hurt, cry, and be angry. You won't find any Pollyanna cliches about just "trust God" or "have faith." Instead the message is that while, of course, we must trust and have faith, the fact is that infertility is a painful, horrible experience and its okay to grieve this. I feel like I've been given permission to drop my "Happy Christian" mask and just be myself-- grief and all-- with both God and other people.

When the professional advice isn't enough, and you've had your fill of well-meaning comments from those who haven't experienced infertility, Marlo Schalesky wants you to know you are not alone. The true stories she tells of couples who share in the collective hopes, fears, frustrations, and the comfort only God can bring will encourage your heart.

Our family knows that infertility strikes at the core of what oit means to be a woman or man, it tests marriages, and shakes the faith. This honest, open, and emotionally resonant first-person collection of stories will touch your life, and if you're looking for a good dose of Christ-centered encouragement for the journey of infertility, this is it.

We looked for months for a book like this, and we hope you are encouraged like we were.

A very highly recommended book!!!

Along with the pain of not having a child, there is often another--loneliness, the perception that others do not know what you're going through. Schalesky puts arms of understanding around the reader with her book Empty Womb, Aching Heart. The twenty-four stories of those who've wondered "Why NOT me?" lead the reader to comfort and trust in God. This book is a wonderful help for those facing infertility, a wonderful gift from friends who want to help.

This book has a great message at its core-if you are experiencing infertility, you are not alone. The men and women who shared their stories in this book give truly heartwrenching accounts of their experiences with infertility. I read this book after my 2nd miscarriage, and appreciated the Christian perspective, as there are not too many other such books out there. The first time I read the book through, I thought it lacked one major thing-hope that someday it would be possible to have a child. There are only a few stories in this book that detail the couple's experiences ending in the birth or adoption of a child. I felt like I must have missed something in the book, so I read it again. This time, with a more open heart and mind, I found inside this book its true message-infertility is not always "cured" with a child. It is ok to let go of dreams for a child and fill your life with God and other things, and maybe someday there will also be a child. This wasn't the message I had hoped to get out of the book, but it was one I desperately needed to hear. I recommend it to all who are looking for God's voice in the midst of infertility. An excellent companion, and one that is even more helpful to me is Ginger Garret's Moments for Couples who Long for Children.

Empty Womb, Aching Heart: Hope and Help for Those Struggling With Infertility is not what I expected it to be and is unlike any of the other books I've read or perused on this topic.

Because the Infertility world, especially the Christian, online Infertility world is such a small, tight knit community, I find it difficult to be critical of anyone's love offering, for fear of hurting feelings. However, I don't think empty reviews, or false positive reviews really help anyone, and don't accomplish my goal of broadening conversation on and knowledge of the resources available. So with that in mind, I will attempt to tread lightly.

Empty Womb, Aching Heart can best be described as "Chicken Soup for the Infertile." It is a collection of stories gathered from women (and a few men) in their thirties and forties, detailing their personal experiences with various points in their infertility. This is not a teaching book.

I will say that it is an invaluable resource for anyone wanting to get a broad exposure to an "insider's view" of various Infertilty related heartaches. This would be great for a pastor or a friend who wanted to glean a smattering of different reactions and experiences, many of which are very typical of many Infertility journeys.

However, because the book is just a collection of other people's stories, I found little helpful in it on a cosmic, capital T Truth level.

My first critique is that only two passages in the entire book came from anyone in their twenties. Most passages were from people in their upper thirties and in to their forties, with a few from people in their young thirties. This made me, a late twenty something, feel particularly isolated. So many times in this journey people say "oh you're still young!" as though the only people allowed to truly wrestle with this issue are those who are nearing the end of their childbearing years. In truth, my youth makes this harder because if my body doesn't function right now with time on its side, I have little hope as time marches on. It also made me feel that I am years and years away from being able to really identify with a lot of things shared in the book, or that it will take me that long to come to the same kind of peace that some of the authors exude. So I found that element of the book to be particularly discouraging, especially because in one or two stories was the author's age even relevant, so this isolating factor could have been avoided altogether by the omission of ages.

Second because this is just a collection of stories, the only significant value is the comfort of the knowledge that others have been there too. But because God works in every life differently, there is no universality to any of the lessons. While I can marvel at God's work in another for the sake of His goodness and power, that does little to teach me about His plan for my life. Perhaps that was never the point of the book but I have to hope that if it was published for worldwide consumption, there was some goal of enhancing the reader's own picture of God.

Also, it was hard for me to really accept any of the assorted "truths" that were offered because we know absolutely nothing about the various authors, save for their name (real or pen) and an age, and in some cases, a location. This is not always relevant, but when someone is making assertions about God, I know it's at least easier for me to process when I know the bias of the person making the assertion. No scripture referenced was exegeted nor was the article author's interpretation substantiated. I realize that criticizing anonymity is an ironic statement in this review where I am anonymous to those of you reading it, and I realize that everyone has something offer, regardless of their "credentials" but for that very reason, I try to be very upfront with my biases and convictions and with the fact that anything I offer is opinion.

I try to be careful for not faulting something for not being what it was never intended to be. I realize this book was never intended to be a treatise on God's truth for infertile couples. But in recognizing that, I found a lack of a convincing purpose for the book, again aside from the end result of getting exposure to other people's emotion and knowing that one is not alone.

I can never fault anyone for trying to address this issue. I feel like a broken record when I say again that I appreciate that Ms. Schalesky (I think a better title for her is editor, not author) was willing to break the silence. And I am confident that her vision for this book was borne out of a sincere desire to equip, encourage and validate. All of those things are noble and good and as I said, this book is very good for exposing someone to a lot of feelings and experiences with IF. And if someone is at the point in their IF journey that they're just looking to hear from other people who have "been there, done that" this book is perfect. I will applaud Ms. Schalesky for her wisdom in including many stories that do not have "happy" endings of successful pregnancy or adoption, which would lead I think to a lot of false hope. The point of all the stories is that God's goodness is not confined to fixing biological problems. This is a very significant Truth that this book does tackle well. So for all of those things, I appreciate Ms. Schalesky and all those who submitted their stories.

The question of whether or not I would recommend this book I guess depends on what your intended purpose in reading it is. If it's to glean exposure to "our" world, such as would be appropriate for a pastor or friend of an Infertile couple, this is an excellent book. However, if you're an Infertile person at the point in your journey where you're hungering for solid, biblical teaching and encouragement, this may not be the tool for you at this time. I can't say that I would refuse to recommend it because there is nothing "wrong" with this book, morally or spiritually and I don't think it does any harm or disrespect. However, it has a very specific purpose and I think intended audience, so falling outside those bounds may make this book little more than a time passer for you.

This book is a collection of short stories, based on the experiences of real men and women who struggled with infertility. Each story explores a slightly different aspect of infertility, but all have a strong Christian foundation.

Those in the middle of the infertility journey will find this book encouraging and comforting for several reasons. First, stories such as "Crying in the Diaper Aisle" help you to realize that you are neither alone nor crazy - your experience is just the same as many others. Second, this books avoids the all-too-common "and then we had a baby!" happy ending. While all the stories end on a hopeful note, more often than not it is because the characters learn new ways to cope or rely on God for comfort. Finally, both men's and women's perspectives on infertility are addressed. Stories from a man's perspective include a husband whose low sperm count is causing the couple's infertility, and a man who just can't understand his wife's pain.

I enjoyed this book tremendously (though I did cry at several of the stories) and felt comforted after reading it. I highly recommend it to couples facing infertility, as well as their family and friends.

I was so thankful to receive "Empty Womb, Aching Heart". It opened my eyes and heart to the pain that is experienced by so many husbands and wives that are struggling with infertility. This is not just a book for these special couples but a "must read" for their friends and family. I cried all the way through it; knowing and understanding, at last, what several friends and a few family members have gone through for so many years, struggling to have their own little bundle of joy. God Bless the Author, Marlo Schalesky, for having the courage to put this book together during what must have been a most difficult time for her. Very educational in its own special way. Thank you!...

This book has helped me mourn and FINALLY move on from my infertility. It made me realize that my feelings of anger and sadness were normal and it makes it easier to hear that others have experienced the same frustration and inconsolable feelings. It's so important to mourn so that you can move on to other options if that is your plan and I am finally able to do that with the help of this book.

after reading this book, it really helped me to explore many different ways to look at infertility. The best part of this book is that it allows insight into the many emotions that one can have when dealing with infertility by sharing stories of many who live with it daily. It is a spiritual guide as well. The only drawback is because it is centered around faith and spirituality, it only discusses infertility for couples- no mention here at all for those of us who are single and want to have a child but have not been blessed to have found the perfect spouse. Not a book for open-minds and open-hearts, but definitely helpful with the emotional roller coaster ride that is infertilty.

Each personal story in this book parallels the different pains and frustrations that couples go through as they face the issues of infertility. Even though circumstances are not the same, the struggles of the heart, mind, body and spirit are similiar. The running thread of emptiness runs through the entire book. The couples honestly and unashamedly express their grief and how it affects their marriages and their faith. This book doesn't give you pat answers, but lets the reader hear the "behind closed doors" challenges. Interwoven are the threads of hope and encouragement through scriptures, and in the thoughts of those who have chosen to trust God in the face of infertility.

--- reviewed by Susan for Christian Bookshelf