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The Enabler: When Helping Hurts the Ones You Love [Paperback]

Angelyn Miller (Author)
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (26 customer reviews)

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Book Description

October 1, 2001 1587360675 978-1587360671 3

Co-dependency -- of which enabling is a major element -- can and does exist in families where there is no chemical dependency. Angelyn MillerÂ's own experience is a dramatic example: neither she nor her husband drank, yet her family was floundering in that same dynamic. In spite of her best efforts to fix everything (and everyone), the turmoil continued until she discovered that helping wasnÂ't helping.

Miller recounts how she learned to alter the way she responded to family crises and general neediness, forever breaking the cycle of co-dependency. Offering insights, practical techniques, and hope, she shows us how we can transform enabling relationships into healthy ones.


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The Enabler: When Helping Hurts the Ones You Love + Setting Boundaries(TM) with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents + When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us: Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, and Getting on with Our Lives
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"This is a challenging book. . . . an outstanding testimonial to the benefits that are possible when you recognize that you are an enabler and are willing to take steps to change your behavior. Read it, share it with your family and friends, and put it to good use."

-- Jennifer P. Schneider, Author of Back from Betrayal

About the Author

Angelyn Miller is a retired professional educator with a bachelor of science degree in human development and family relations and a master of arts in counseling psychology. She and her husband currently live in Arizona.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 120 pages
  • Publisher: Wheatmark; 3 edition (October 1, 2001)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1587360675
  • ISBN-13: 978-1587360671
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.5 x 0.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (26 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #9,912 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Angelyn Miller is a retired professional educator with a bachelor of science degree in human development and family relations and a master of arts in counseling psychology. She and her husband currently live in Arizona.

 

Customer Reviews

26 Reviews
5 star:
 (15)
4 star:
 (8)
3 star:
 (1)
2 star:
 (1)
1 star:
 (1)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
4.3 out of 5 stars (26 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

35 of 37 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A book that could change lives, June 26, 2007
By 
Arvilla Fee (Bristow, VA USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: The Enabler: When Helping Hurts the Ones You Love (Paperback)
I bought this book, The Enabler, for my mother-in-law because the title and description seem to fit her perfectly. However, as I read the book from cover-to-cover I quickly realized that there were some enabling "issues" that were in my life as well. This book is written in friendly, easy terms; it doesn't use language that is over the average person's head. Since the author, Angelyn Miller, wrote about her personal life, I felt that I could connect with her on a personal level, and I am hoping that my mother-in-law can do the same. If a person who is an enabler would truly take this book to heart, it could literally change that person's life - for the better. The book is very straight-forward, and it even has "worksheets" and exercises to help the reader become the person that he/she would like to be.
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67 of 76 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars what a life changer, September 8, 2003
By 
Erica (Las Vegas, Nv) - See all my reviews
This review is from: The Enabler: When Helping Hurts the Ones You Love (Paperback)
Well, I was in a reahb center when my thearapist offered for me to read this book. I put it off for a few weeks when finally I picked it up to be amazed. It is a book that will help all of those who know they are enablers, think they are enablers, or sometimes likes to help a friend out in need. It is an eye opener. I recomend this book to just about anyone, even those who use enablers for their advantage. I hope you enjoy it just as much as I did!
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21 of 21 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Succinct, Helpful Book About Codependent Enabling, October 31, 2008
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This review is from: The Enabler (Hardcover)
*****
Although this book is short, it accomplishes its purpose--to describe enabling and to teach readers how to overcome enabling. It does this through great illustrations from the life of the author about incidents with her husband and son, through descriptions, and through worksheets to help you construct your own recovery plan. I liked that it was short and to the point so that I wasn't wasting my time reading a lot of fluff.

Neither the author nor anyone in her immediate life was involved with alcohol or any other addiction; the book shows how enabling can be something we all can indulge in if we aren't aware.

Highly recommended.
*****
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