Customer Reviews

Enabler: when helping harms

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I have always been very protective of my much younger sister, but it was not until I read this book that I realized how destructive my protection was. This is a slim volume--it took me only about 2 hours to read it--but it changed my life and my sister's.

Two brief passages from the book sum up its content and purpose. The first is from page 7: "An enabler is one who prevents growth and learning in others by assuming their responsbilities. An enabler promotes weakness in others by protecting them from the consequences of their unproductive behavior." The second is from pages 28-29: "When people . . . are not required to alter their unproductive behavior because they are protected from its natural consequences, it is easy for them to become dependent. Their experience of the world is that the world will always accommodate them."

This book was ME and every other woman I've known who has thought she had to DO IT ALL for her family. It's only when we stop caring for everyone else and allow them to do for themselves that the ones we love learn to spread their wings. And we benefit, too, in paying more attention to ourselves and our own goals. The hardest thing to do sometimes is NOTHING, but it is so liberating to realize there are things you can't fix or cure. I highly recommend this book.

This book illustrates the story of the drowning enabler: someone else's life passes before his or her eyes.

For anyone who is an enabler and doesn't know how to stop, this book is for you. No technical jargon, it's written in such a way that it is very easy to understand. Its suggestions and stories make it so relatable...you'll find yourself constantly saying, "That's me, that's exactly what I've been doing!" Short book but packed full of extremely helpful information. Definately worth buying if you find yourself in a situation where you just don't know what to do anymore and its affected or consumed your life in a negative way. This book will help you see YOUR part in enabling another to continue their unacceptable behavior, no matter what it is, and find strength in knowing that by changing how YOU behave and react to the co-dependent, that the co-dependent will change in return...which will finally free you from the trap you're in. You can truly break that never ending cycle once and for all and it will be good for EVERYONE.

Prescription for Addicton

I found this book inspirational and it is full of heartfelt emotion. Susan Kelley, Author of Prescription for Addiction.