The Encouraging Parent: How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids and Start Teaching Them Confidence, Self-Discipline, and Joy [Paperback]

Rod Wallace Kennedy Ph.D. (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 16, 2001

Would you like to end temper tantrums, sibling rivalry, and other unacceptable behavior without resorting to threats, shouting, or spanking?

Let Dr. Rod Kennedy show you how to become an Encouraging Parent.

Remember that time when you were down on your knees, holding out your arms, and shouting out encouragement as your toddler took those first steps? When your child stumbled and fell, you didn't shout, spank, or reprimand -- you smiled, soothed, encouraged. You motivated your child to succeed. You can recapture that positive and effective attitude and harness it to raise a confident, self-disciplined, and happy child. The first step is to realize that the problem isn't how to "fix" your child, it's to understand how your own attitudes and beliefs get in the way of effective parenting, then learn how to fine-tune your emotional and communication skills.

Based on his popular workshops, which have trained more than 100,000 parents, Dr. Kennedy's book contains a wealth of practical information on how to teach kids self-discipline. Topics include:

         ¸  A self-test to help pinpoint where you need to refine your parenting skills
         ¸  Establishing daily routines that are easy to remember-- and that will end the chaos
         ¸  Teaching kids to get along and resolve their own conflicts so you don't have to micromanage
         ¸  Real-life parenting lessons from the parents who attend Dr. Kennedy's workshops

This warm, empathetic, and practical guide will help you nurture your child's positive development and create the loving, supportive atmosphere all kids need to thrive.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

It's easy to get stuck in an unpleasant parenting rut--daily frustrations have a way of building walls between kids and parents that lead to ineffective communication and further frustrations. Sometimes an objective step back and a fresh set of reminders are just the ticket to get family life back on track.

A welcome combination of theory and practical suggestions, The Encouraging Parent first presents a general overview of typical parenting systems of punishment and reward. Examples like "If you make straight A's, I'll give you fifty dollars" and "You will sit here all night if it takes that long" may be embarrassingly familiar to some readers, but not to worry; author Rod Kennedy promises that he is out to break the cycle of blame for all involved.

He proceeds to do just that by showing surprisingly simple suggestions for discipline that is effective and loving at the same time. Practical ideas are listed with bullet points, followed by short explanations, a definite boon for busy parents who find their reading time to be limited. Lists cover topics like "verbal bombs to avoid," "nine characteristics of the emotionally mature parent," and personal traits of responsible people. Lots of real-life stories are included from the author's personal experiences, and these stories serve nicely to illustrate the 14 different communication skills Kennedy feels are necessary for good parenting. One short tale of his wife's bad day that is greeted with "start from the beginning and tell me everything," instead of "you think you had a bad day," is an easy lesson that can make a world of difference in an exhausted family. If you're ready to make a few positive changes at home, The Encouraging Parent is an excellent place to start. --Jill Lightner

From Publishers Weekly

Kennedy, who conducts workshops in parenting, conflict resolution and cultural diversity, opens his book with a self-administered "parent test" to help parents determine for themselves what their strengths and weaknesses areAparticularly with regard to how they relate to and communicate with their children. The crucial issue in how families function, Kennedy claims, is how parentsAnot kidsAbehave; those who exercise self control and exhibit emotional maturity will have the most success with their children because they themselves set examples for appropriate, respectful behavior. The author realizes that children will misbehave, but instead of using blame to admonish inappropriate behavior (he comes down on screaming, rewards, punishment, lecturing and spanking, but he is equally critical of parents who allow their children to control the family barometer), he argues that parents should employ "preventive discipline." His methods include communication, conflict resolution, compassionate listening, fair consequences and establishing routines. While Kennedy sometimes teeters on his soapbox, his book, on the whole, is a compassionate guide to child-rearing that employs mutual respect and encouragement as its cornerstones. (Jan.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Three Rivers Press; 1 edition (January 16, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0812933133
• ISBN-13: 978-0812933130
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.2 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.5 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #506,389 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Dr. Kennedy's methods really work!, February 6, 2004

By 

A. N. Culbreath "palmetto4" (Jupiter, FL USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Encouraging Parent: How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids and Start Teaching Them Confidence, Self-Discipline, and Joy (Paperback)

I was fortunate enough to hear Dr. Kennedy speak at my church and I was pleasantly surprised. Not only were his ideas practical and down-to-earth, but the goal is to raise joyful and self-disciplined children. The techniques worked very well with my two children and allowed for their very different temperments. I have read many parenting books and I would list this one among the best.

After attending the seminar, I read the book. It provided an easy-to-read format with lots of bullet items listing the key points. This is valuable when you need to go back and quickly find some advice for a particular situation. I also found it very helpful that Dr. Kennedy readily (and hysterically) admits some of the mistakes that he has made when raising his 5 children. He is very accessible in person as well as through his writing.

If you are looking for a book that will result in a more peaceful home and more joyful time with your family, read this book! You and your children will benefit from this Biblically-grounded method of raising our children in a loving environment that still manages to provide boundaries and self-disciplined children. It worked in our home! Thanks Dr. Kennedy.

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Aspiring to Be Encouraging, October 31, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: The Encouraging Parent: How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids and Start Teaching Them Confidence, Self-Discipline, and Joy (Paperback)

I found the book refreshing and inspiring. I think that parents often fall into the trap of being controllers and forget how to encourage the children to think for themselves, confident in the never-ending love of God. While there are some concepts I may see slightly differently than Mr.Kennedy, I found the book helpful in my role as a parent of four and as an educator of parents.

1.0 out of 5 stars A book about Encouragement that is just too negative!, February 16, 2011

By 

Becca - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Encouraging Parent: How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids and Start Teaching Them Confidence, Self-Discipline, and Joy (Paperback)

Other than having kids of his own, the author never mentions a professional background in anything related to kids. That approach works in some books, but he focused so much on his political and religious views rather than just writing a parenting book that he lost credibility with me. He was very negative at times which seemed to really contradict this books purpose. So many of his comments about religion were completely unnecessary, especially coming from a man who claims to be writing a book based on acceptance, love and the importance of positive language. I got the feeling that because I'm a conservative christian, he just didn't like me and I wasn't his intended audience. I don't spank and rarely yell at my children (5 & 2). This was on my list of recommended reading for an adoption - and the only book on the list not already checked out at our library. Regardless of your political or religious beliefs, this was a tough book to get through. There's really no new information or concepts in it or big surprises. I would imagine most people who don't have to answer specific questions about the book like we do skim through it as it's quite wordy. Save your money and get it from the library if you feel the need to read it... Most of the good reviews on this author rave about his seminars so he may be a great speaker, but I feel he really lacks as an author.