Ending the Homework Hassle [Paperback]

John Rosemond (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 1, 1990

Homework can be one of the most frustrating of all problem areas for chidlren and parents. In this helpful guide, Rosemond warns against parental interference and demonstrates ways to help children learn to work on their own and to take responsibility for getting the work done themselves.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

John Rosemond is a family psychologist who has both directed mental health programs and been in full-time private practice working with families and children. Since 1990, he has devoted his time to speaking and writing. John's weekly syndicated parenting column now appears in some 250 newspapers. Along the way, he's also managed to write eleven bestselling books on parenting and the family. As if that wasn't enough, he is one of the busiest and most popular speakers in his field, giving over 200 talks a year to parent and professional groups nationwide. He and his wife of 39 years, Willie, have two grown children and six well-behaved grandchildren.

For more information, see www.rosemond.com and www.parentingbythebook.com. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

• Paperback: 172 pages
• Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing; Original edition (January 1, 1990)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0836228073
• ISBN-13: 978-0836228076
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.4 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #67,111 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #18 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Nonfiction > Education > Education Theory
  • #18 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Parenting & Families > Parenting > Babies & Toddlers > General
  • #87 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Parenting & Families > General

More About the Author

John Rosemond is a family psychologist who has both directed mental health programs and been in full-time private practice working with families and children. Since 1990, he has devoted his time to speaking and writing. John's weekly syndicated parenting column now appears in some 250 newspapers. Along the way, he's also managed to write eleven bestselling books on parenting and the family. As if that wasn't enough, he is one of the busiest and most popular speakers in his field, giving over 200 talks a year to parent and professional groups nationwide. He and his wife of 39 years, Willie, have two grown children and six well-behaved grandchildren.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

92 of 94 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars If your child's schoolwork is exhausting you, read on!, February 5, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Ending the Homework Hassle (Paperback)

This book describes the daily/nightly family homework ordeal that traps so many of us. It promises remedies in non-technical, easy to read words. And it delivers on its promise with usable plans and examples in a variety of real life success stories.

Whether we parents were told wrong, as Rosemond blames modern "Parenting Experts," or whether we heard wrong, certainly parenting has become a bigger, more difficult deal, with parents believing more involvement makes us better parents while giving our kids more self-esteem. But this is not working. "Involvement" becomes interference, helping becomes confronting, their homework becomes our homework, their failure becomes our failure- so we will become more involved to avoid failure, because we want to be Good Parents. And so, homework becomes an exhausting no-win battlefield of wills littered with intellectual and emotional casualties. The answer is to back off and give homework responsibilities back to our kids, along with the rewards (pride, self-confidence, experience and privileges) and the consequences (failure, redemption, wisdom and denied privileges) of taking ownership of their own schoolwork. Stop hovering, checking, correcting, signing, protecting, threatening, pleading, promising, dictating, bribing and exasperating in the name of homework. (What is that saying about teaching a pig to talk, or was it to sing? It's a waste of your time and it only annoys the pig?!) Even more importantly, if you change these old ways of all-consuming conflict, you will stop neglecting yourself, your health, your marriage, and your family.

I'm using the book to set up a framework of goals, privileges and consequences for our 10-1/2 year-old fifth grader. The book doesn't cover some specifics in his case, such as trusting him for the 3-1/2 hours he is home alone after school, so we'll have to work out some things as we go along. But already, immediately, I've had two important revelations. First, I've never written down consequences before. I always thought I disciplined using consequences, but now I realize I only talked about them, made them up as we went along, changed them, threatened with them, held them inside and then blew them out of proportion. Until now I've never sat down with our son and his teacher, negotiated, and agreed to attainable goals and consistent consequences. Second, I didn't realize how entrenched I was in parenting by micro-managing until I tried these changes. As much as I agreed with these changes, I still had great difficulty not following our son around the house and not asking, "Did you finish... don't forget to... have you done... when are you going to...?" Even though I smugly read the book and approved of all the back-to-basics techniques, I still had trouble breaking my old habits, supporting these changes in task ownership, and trusting the motivational power of fair, consistent consequences. We shall see... The potential is exciting, and already there has been an immediate lowering of tension. I no longer take bad behavior or schoolwork personally, I don't get furious, and the consequences are established and accepted. It's a start- a flexible, negotiable start.

Among my favorite quotes from this book:

"...if the child fails to do his homework, no one should get upset but the child, and no one should be inconvenienced but the child."

"Kids are smart, but teenagers are clever."

"It is a simple statement of accountability that proposes that parents should never agonize over a child's behavior if the child is perfectly capable of agonizing over it himself."

"It's about coaching from the sidelines, as opposed to getting swept up in the action on the field."

Read, enjoy, learn, implement, then learn more!

(submitted by Larry Borshard)

152 of 160 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Didn't take you far enough to be helpful, August 2, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Ending the Homework Hassle (Paperback)

The basis of this book is to help kids WHO CARE ABOUT THEIR GRADES to get organized. The only "threat" to kids was "if you don't do this, you won't get a good grade". He gave examples of his own children who got very upset at the prospect of a bad grade on a project or paper. The problem at my house was a son who didn't care if he got good grades or not, so this book was no help. After reading several books on this subject, the one I choose to follow was Homework without Tears by Lee Canter. His book told you what to do when they don't care about their grades, "lost" or "forgot" their homework or claimed all semester that everything was done and you only find out differently when the report card comes with a horrible grade.

34 of 34 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Covers More than Homework, February 27, 2001

By 

Angela Maiorino (Dallas, TX USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Ending the Homework Hassle (Paperback)

This book was extremely helpful in working with my 9-year-old. Rather than just tips and tricks for homework hassles with your kid, this book teaches PARENTS how to better guide their children so - methodically in turn - children magically start accepting their responsibilities, which in the end prepares them for responsible adulthood. The more you hound, the more you "hover," the more you check on them, the more you worry for them, the less they do themselves, which progressively makes them more dependent on you and less on themselves. This theory took me by surprise, as I wanted to be extremely involved with my child's work in school. But I had no idea I was actually hindering her growth and understanding of responsibility and accountability. The book also offers help for parents and children with consistent homework problems, attitudes and resistance. Excellent and easy-to-read.