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BE GENTLE. IT'S MY FIRST TIME AND THE FLOOR BOARDS SQUEAK
on March 16, 2014
No one ever talked to Jade (Gabriella Wilde) while she was in high school because she was too beautiful and too rich. David (Alex Pettyfer), who has never talked to her, likes her as they speak for the first time as he parks their family car at the country club. Soon she joyously loses her virginity by the fireside. Her home has magical floor boards that squeak when you walk on them, but not when you make love on them. Be gentle it's my first time and the floor boards squeak.
Her mom (Joely Richardson) is supportive of their relationship. Dad (Bruce Greenwood) is not. The evil Dad schemes for Jade to be a doctor and go to Brown University. David, who is intelligent, plans on taking over his dad's (Robert Patrick) garage and hopefully he can stop punching a time clock.
This is a not a guy's film. Grown ups running around with sparklers? Falling in love forever on a first meeting. Having your first sex somewhere besides an automobile. Daughter not knowing what a jerk her dad is after living with him for 18 years. A mechanic with smooth hands. Seriously Shana?
This is a one star film for guys, 5 stars for women. Please ladies, don't make your man sit through this one forcing him not to chuckle while you have a Puffs moment.
Parental Guide: 1 F-bomb near end. Implied love making. Brief sheer fabric nudity. Were her straps still on her shoulder while laying down after she took the garment off?