English as She Is Spoke: Being a Comprehensive Phrasebook of the English Language, Written by Men to Whom English was Entirely Unknown (Collins Library) [Paperback]

Jose da Fonseca (Author), Pedro Carolino (Author), Paul Collins (Editor)

Book Description

Series: Collins Library | Publication Date: June 20, 2004

In 1855, when Jose da Fonseca and Pedro Carolino wrote an English phrasebook for Portuguese students, they faced just one problem: they didn't know any English. Even worse, they didn't own an English-to-Portuguese dictionary. What they did have, though, was a Portuguese-to-French dictionary, and a French-to-English dictionary. The linguistic train wreck that ensued is a classic of unintentional humor, now revived in the first newly selected edition in a century. Armed with Fonseca and Carolino's guide, a Portuguese traveler can insult a barber ("What news tell me? All hairs dresser are newsmonger"), complain about the orchestra ("It is a noise which to cleve the head"), go hunting ("let aim it! let make fire him"), and consult a handy selection of truly mystifying "Idiotisms and Proverbs."

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Nobody can add to the absurdity of this book, nobody can imitate it successfully, nobody can hope to produce its fellow; it is perfect." -Mark Twain

About the Author

Paul Collins edits the Collins Library (collinslibrary.com) imprint of McSweeney's Books. He is the author of Banvard's Folly (Picador 2001), the textbook Community Writing (Erlbaum 2001), and the memoir Sixpence House (Bloomsbury USA).

Product Details

• Paperback: 151 pages
• Publisher: McSweeney's; First Trade Paper Edition edition (June 20, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1932416110
• ISBN-13: 978-1932416114
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.4 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.9 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #798,486 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #18 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Reference > Foreign Languages > Instruction > Portuguese
  • #69 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Entertainment > Humor > Essays
  • #89 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Reference > Words & Language > Grammar

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The funniest book you will ever own, November 3, 2005

By 

Jeremy M - See all my reviews

This review is from: English as She Is Spoke: Being a Comprehensive Phrasebook of the English Language, Written by Men to Whom English was Entirely Unknown (Collins Library) (Paperback)

I know that it is not politically correct to make fun of foreigners who can't read or write English (unless they're from Texas), nor should we laugh at their resultant manglings.

But what about foreigners who deliberately set out to write an English guidebook for Portugese-speakers and get it all kinds of wrong. After all, they kind of ask for it, right?

Especially if those translators spoke NO English...

And did not have an English-Portugese dictionary...

Well, I think that's probably OK to laugh at. And laugh at it you will. The entries are so mangled they're almost poetry. I also enjoyed the fact that, since it is a 19th century book, it deals with those extremely odd arcane things, like bedwarmers and used horses.

19 of 22 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars What is there in new's litterature?, February 18, 2005

By 

Gary Hatch "English teacher" (American Fork, UT United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: English as She Is Spoke: Being a Comprehensive Phrasebook of the English Language, Written by Men to Whom English was Entirely Unknown (Collins Library) (Paperback)

If you want to know how to insult your hairdresser or avoid buying a really bad used horse (either in English or Portuguese), then this is the book for you. The the proper terms for "chastisements" ("the iron collar," "the torture rack"). Learn some familiar phrases ("These apricots and these peaches make me and to come water in mouth.") Why don't they write books like this anymore? "There is a reason for that, it is that you cannot to sell its. The actual liking of the public is depraved they does not read who for to amuse one's self ant but to instruct one's." This is a book to read for to amuse one's self.

12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars What a crazy concept - a classic for fans of the truly unusual, January 7, 2006

By 

Dom Miliano (Denville, NJ USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: English as She Is Spoke: Being a Comprehensive Phrasebook of the English Language, Written by Men to Whom English was Entirely Unknown (Collins Library) (Paperback)

Like a Seinfeld or I Love Lucy sitcom episode, the idea that you could write a book about the English language without being able to speak it - side splitting. I heard about this book on NPR and sought it for years. The hard cover was back ordered for a very long time so when the soft cover came my way, I grabbed it and went to the bath..err library. Funny stuff. Ironic, laughable, really silly and unique.

If you collect unusual literature, love humor or just need a laugh - give this book a read.