Enslaved by Ducks: How One Man Went from Head of the Household to Bottom of the Pecking Order [Hardcover]

Bob Tarte (Author)

Book Description

ISBN-10: 1565123514 | ISBN-13: 978-1565123519 | Publication Date: January 1, 2003 | Edition: 1st

When Bob Tarte left the Michigan suburbs for the country, he was thinking peace and quiet. He'd write his music reviews in the solitude of his rural home on the outskirts of everything. Then he married Linda. She wanted a rabbit. How much trouble, he thought, could a bunny be?

Well, after the bunny chewed its way through their electrical wires and then hid inside the wall, Bob realized that he'd been outwitted. But that was just the beginning. There were parrots, more rabbits, then ducks and African geese. The turkeys, stranded on a nearby road, fighting for their lives. The starlings. The sad, ugly duck for sale for 25 cents.

One day Bob looked around and saw he was not only outnumbered, but that he'd become a servant to an extremely demanding family: Stanley Sue, a gender-switching African grey parrot; Hector, a cantankerous shoulder-sitting Muscovy duck; Howard, an amorous ring-necked dove; Chloe, a mallard who learned to limp; and a host of others. And, against every instinct in him, Bob became their slave.

He read all the classic animal books--The Parrot Who Owns Me, The Dog Who Rescues Cats, Arnie the Darling Starling, That Quail Robert, The Cat Who Came for Christmas--about the joys of animals, the touching moments. But none revealed what it was really like to live with an unruly menagerie. This hilarious memoir gives us the other side--about a man who, against all bets, was converted to a doting and proud animal lover.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Knowing little about animals, Tarte and his wife naievely acquire Binky, an impish bunny, at an Easter bunny fair, little suspecting that it will soon dominate their lives and lead to a brigade of other winged and furred beasts. After Binky, they get a canary, then Ollie, an orange-chin pocket parrot, whom they return because he flings his water-logged food all over their floor and accosts them with calls and bites. Then they buy a more docile gray-cheek parakeet, which makes the Tartes realize they miss their raucous friend Ollie, whom they retrieve. Gluttons for punishment, the Tartes acquire a gender-confused African gray parrot named Stanley Sue, followed by ducks, geese, turkeys, parrots, starlings, more rabbits and cats. Every day brings an adventure or a tragedy (Ollie escapes; a duck gets eaten by a raccoon) to their Michigan country house. With dead-on character portraits, Tarte keeps readers laughing about unreliable pet store proprietors, a duck named Hector who doesn't like water, an amorous dove named Howard, a foster-mother goose, patient veterinarians and increasingly bewildered friends. Tarte has an ordinary-Joe voice that makes each chapter a true pleasure, while revealing a sophisticated vision of animals and their relationship to humans.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From School Library Journal

Adult/High School-A cast of characters listed in the front-along with all of the veterinarians consulted-helps to keep straight the bewildering number of animals, mostly avian and each with a personality of its own, that populates this amusing book. Newly married Michiganders Bob and Linda Tarte moved to the country per her desire, and soon she talked him into acquiring a rabbit to add to their two cats. Despite the bunny's bad attitude, one animal led to another, until there were more of them than you can shake a bird perch at. Tarte was sometimes hard-pressed to name them all, since they encompassed ducks, bunnies, cats, doves, canaries, turkeys, parrots, starlings, geese, and parakeets. While teens might not want to own any of these noisy and often bad-tempered beasts, reading about their foibles-and the foibles of the people from whom they were acquired-is great fun, thanks to the author's sly sense of humor and willingness to poke good-natured fun at himself, his wife, and their menagerie. Potential pet owners who think that caring for one or two animals would be a walk in the park will find this book extremely useful reading. In fact, they might have second thoughts about a trip to the pet store. Other readers will chuckle at the situations presented, and pet owners will no doubt identify with them.
Judy McAloon, Potomac Library, Prince William County, VA
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 308 pages
• Publisher: Algonquin Books; 1st edition (January 1, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1565123514
• ISBN-13: 978-1565123519
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.8 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (124 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #563,587 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

68 of 71 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An Absolute Must-Read for Pet Slaves of Every Variety, March 14, 2004

By 

Cedric's Mom (San Diego, CA USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   

This review is from: Enslaved by Ducks: How One Man Went from Head of the Household to Bottom of the Pecking Order (Hardcover)

Bob Tarte's Enslaved By Ducks is a laugh-out-loud funny, beautiful, and insightful book about how he and his wife Linda live with and care for their vast menagerie of animals in rural Michigan. This book was in the Staff Picks section of the bookstore and I'm so glad I plunked down the hardcover price. The entertaining and often touching tales of Bob's life with a seemingly endless number of animals brought lots of smiles to my face and even had me afraid to read this book in public. You never know when you're going to bust out laughing with this one, but I'd estimate that once on every page is a fairly good guess. If you've ever toyed with the idea of starting your own Noah's Ark, here's your reality slam. Don't get that third, fifth, or tenth pet without reading this book first!

It started innocently enough with a bunny named Binky. Being a bunny slave to two angelic/demonic lagomorphs myself, I found it perfectly fitting that his story should start with a bunny rabbit. Rabbits hypnotize their owners into believing that they must acquire more rabbits, and where it stops no one can say. There are animal tales aplenty here with a strong emphasis on the avian variety. Parrots, ducks, turkeys, geese, starlings, you name it. If birds are your fancy, you definitely don't want to miss this read.

Individuals who struggle with depression will also find a kindred spirit here, as Bob openly shares his experiences with depression and how the daily routine of caring for all his animals affected him for the better.

Every side of being a devoted pet owner is represented here, including the sadness and grief when a special pet dies or when pets suddenly abandon their posh digs for the call of the wild. The upbeat and hilarious commands the lion's share of the book, though, and many passages are to be read more than once as you marvel at the intelligence and antics of Bob and Linda's critters.

Contribute to the care and feeding of the Tarte Bunch now by picking up this book Today. Don't wait for the paperback. If you're a pet owner, you know vets and feed don't come cheap.

Thanks, Bob, for sharing your brood with us. It enlarged my fondness and affection for my own furkids. Maybe I'll even buy an African Grey parrot!

34 of 34 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars turkicidal turkeys and homicidal parrots, June 13, 2005

By 

E. A. Lovitt "starmoth" (Gladwin, MI USA) - See all my reviews
(HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (TOP 100 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Enslaved by Ducks (Paperback)

Do you ever read a book and find yourself saying over and over again, 'I wish I wish I wish I had written this.' I wish I had written "Enslaved by Ducks" (well, I'd have to call it 'Enslaved by Cats.') It is both hilarious and touching: a sort of "Ring of Bright Water" as authored by Dave Barry; except it's not about otters. It stars the eponymous ducks, along with surly parrots, turkicidal turkeys, parrotophobic cats, starving baby starlings, duck-eating raccoons, woodwork-munching rabbits, and the occasional long-suffering veterinarian--I love the way this author lists all of his vets by name at the front of the book, along with hints about their practice: "prescriber of questionable ointments;" "doesn't do turkeys;" "'So you've been bad-mouthing our practice.'"

Author, Bob Tarte never meant to end up with a menagerie, but when he and his valiant wife, Linda moved to an old farmhouse near Lowell, Michigan (hold up your right hand and point vaguely at that sort of sinkhole in your palm, way beneath your ring finger), the inevitable occurred. Linda was an animal lover, and they now had lots of property and a barn.

Binky, the Dutch rabbit with no social skills was first. "Wouldn't it be fun to have a little animal hopping around the house," asked Linda, and after a long and futile (and funny) argument from the not-so-animal-loving Bob, in hopped their first tenant--and not into the drafty barn.

I used to think rabbits would be a cinch to own, until a friend of mine ended up with two from the local animal shelter. Bob made the same belated discovery, but by then his wife was on a roll.

(Way back in the Neolithic era of my own marriage, when my husband and I were owned by our first permanent cat, we had to take her to the vet because she was scratching her ears bald. Dr. Platz suggested that she was bored. What we needed was another cat to keep Wendy company.)

This is sort of what happened to Bob.

And if you think one rabbit or one duck is pretty much like another, you need to read this book. I'm definitely going to buy a copy for my two-bunny, four-cat, two-beagle-mix friend. Trust me, this is not just another cute pet book. The author delves deeply into the bond between human and non-human life-mates, and like the marriage-bond, it's not all sweetness and light.

At least my husband doesn't chew holes in the woodwork and poop in my coffee.

26 of 26 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Pure Pleasure For Animal Lovers, May 20, 2004

By 

Robert I. Hedges - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Enslaved by Ducks: How One Man Went from Head of the Household to Bottom of the Pecking Order (Hardcover)

Bob Tarte has eloquently captured the animal lover's viewpoint in this hilarious and touching book about coexisting with our furry and feathered friends. Initially beginning with one tyrannical rabbit, Binky, and eventually growing into a menagerie of rabbits, ducks, geese, turkeys, cats, parakeets, and assorted other creatures, Tarte relates all the joys and tribulations of being an animal lover. The relationships between the animals (especially the birds) are wonderfully recreated, as is the relationship between himself (and his wife) and all the animals. The joy of discovery when a new animal is brought into the fold (and the humorous exploits of accommodating all of them), the amazing scheduling impacts of all the animals on their lives, and the harsh reality of coping with the loss of a beloved animal are all poignantly told in a manner that makes it hard to put the book down.

I am a diehard animal lover, but my hat is off to the Tartes for the patience and love they show daily to their huge multi-specied zoo. I highly recommend this book for anyone who loves animals!