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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
This book is an entrepeneur's tool rather than just a read, May 21, 2010
This review is from: Entrepreneurial Couples: Making it Work at Work and at Home (Hardcover)
This review originally appeared on the Boardroom Couple Blog, book was reviewed by my husband: "This book is a must have book whether you already work with your spouse or are planning to start a business with your better half. It's the type of book you want to keep handy, as an ongoing reference and not just as a one time read.
Author Kathy Marshack does a great job at addressing the real challenges entrepreneurial couples face, through a structured approach; first introducing the concepts, then bringing real-life entrepreneurial couple examples from her consulting private practice, and then discussing research studies, recommendations and practical advice relevant to these specific concepts. The author complements this framework with self assessment exercises for the reader to make this book more of an entrepreneur's tool rather than just a read.
For example, in the first chapter Entrepreneurial Couples: Who Are They? she helps us discover the different types of individual entrepreneurs and different types of entrepreneurial couples. So, you will get a better understanding of your own and your spouse's entrepreneurial style. For me, this chapter alone was already an eye opener, because although I live it, I had no one define my entrepreneurial style before.
Then, in chapter two, Integrating Lives: Laying the Groundwork to Balance Love and Work the author goes on to explain our interactions/dialogs with our environment, spouse, parent, child, home life, work life and so on in terms of dialectal psychology; which basically explains how each element or system in our life is affected by every other element and cannot be fully understood independent of those others. I particularly cherished "The Myth of Separate Domains" in this chapter, and I can tell you that I'm finally at piece that Julie and I do discuss business issues at home or home issues at the office. Before I used to feel guilty, but it finally made sense why this is normal and it is so hard to avoid.
All Chapter Titles:
1.Entrepreneurial Couples: Who Are They?
2.Integrating Lives: Laying the Groundwork to Balance Love and Work
3.Communicating with Your Partner: The Nuts and Bolts of How to Talk to Win
4.Life Planning: Steps to Achieve Your Business and Personal Goals
5.Equality or Equity: How to Find Fairness in Your Partnership
6.Women Entrepreneurs: Are They Different from Men?
7.Parenting and Family Life: Rounding Out Your Life Plan
8.Wealth Management: ow to Balance Health and Wealth
9.Personal and Professional Growth: Beyond Problem Solving
10.Stress Management: Taking Care of the Mind-Body-Spirit Connection
11.Constructing a Master Life Plan: How to Be Successful in the Twenty First Century
So, as you can see from the chapter titles above, the list of entrepreneurial couple issues addressed in this book is quite comprehensive. So, no matter what phase in the entrepreneurial couple relationship you are in, there are definitely take aways for you that will make reading this book worth while. I personally found every single chapter very insightful.
To mention another example, I also was particularly enlightened by chapter 6, Women Entrepreneurs: Are They Different from Men? It gave me a better understanding of my wife and the struggles she faces in her internalized beliefs about what is required of her to be a good wife and mother vs. a competent professional; which is occasionally a discussion in our household and always surprises me why Julie is so critical of herself at times. Julie's a great mother, she's a wonderful partner (I'm a very lucky man), and she's a true professional and she would still think at times that she is not doing enough for me and the kids. I can assure you that our kids and myself are truly blessed to have her in our life and we can't really ask for anything else from her. Gladly, thanks to this book now I know that other entrepreneurial wives have similar struggles too. So, I know that when eventually this discussion comes up again, we are better equipped to discuss it and identify the concern for what it really is.
This book really helps you understand what is happening around you when you are an entrepreneurial couple. It gives you a big picture understanding (holistic) of all the pieces interacting together. I personally wish I read this book when I started out in business, but I'm certainly glad I did now. Highly recommended!"
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0 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Too pedantic and "ivory tower", June 11, 2011
This review is from: Entrepreneurial Couples: Making it Work at Work and at Home (Hardcover)
Entrepreneurial Couples offers a clinical psychologist's perspective of couples who work in their own businesses together. Dr. Marshack is a respected author and clinical psychologist who specializes in consulting with family businesses. There is no question that Dr. Marshack is erudite and academically accomplished - her intellectual strength comes through on every page. However, I found that the book has several shortcomings that detract from its potential.
My biggest complaint is that much of the book reads more like a graduate student's term paper rather than a practical guide about creating a successful copreneur relationship. The book is filled with discussions on clinical research that are not in the least useful, and most of which are very.... boring.
Here, for example, is a quote from a chapter called "Integrating Lives" that discusses issues about balancing work and family life: "A dialectical interpretation of human development focuses on concrete human beings and their interactions with biological and cultural-sociological shifts and changes. Human development is codetermined by these inner and outer changes. Riegel describes four dimensions of human development: (1) inner-biological, (2) individual-psychological, (3) cultural-sociological, and (4) outer-physical. Whenever two sequences are not synchronized, a crisis takes place, which produces development. If the development is a major reorganization, then the individual has moved into a new stage or period of development. Therefore, development is seen as consisting of continuous changes along several dimensions at the same time." Wow! That sounds really brainy, but it's also very boring, nearly impossible to understand and, ultimately, useless.
Maybe there are readers who can extract wisdom from these academic musings, but for me it is much too abstract and theoretical. This is unfortunate because there are many parts of the book where Dr. Marshack is offering useful insight and making good suggestions, but these messages tend to get lost in her overly academic writing style. Here is a great example, from a chapter called Women Entrepreneurs: "There are developmental differences between men and women that contribute to the invisibility of women in the family business. Men move toward individuation and autonomy in early adulthood, whereas women move toward intimacy and affiliation. Thus women have a strong need to maintain the family, even at the expense of their own professional development. In a family business setting, where family values take precedence over the needs of the business, women are more inclined to preserve the family than pursue independent goals that could risk family cohesion. Interestingly, as men and women reach midlife, the developmental imperative shifts in the opposite direction. Women begin seeking autonomy and individuation, while men are moving toward intimacy and affiliation." In other words, women tend to place more importance on family values than men, especially when the kids are younger. Why doesn't Dr. Marshack just come out and say so? Her style of writing makes me feel like she is talking down to me from her ivory tower.
Much of this book is filled with examples of copreneur couples that Dr. Marshack has worked with in her psychology practice. While many of these vignettes are somewhat interesting to read (and much less boring than other parts of the book), I did not find them particularly useful and informative overall. In other words, I do not think the author does a good job of extracting useful lessons from her examples.
Another concern I have about this book is that I simply disagree with some of Dr. Marshack's advice. For example, in her chapter on Communicating with Your Partner, she says: "...the three keys to a successful marriage are communication, communication, communication." While that may sound clever, it actually isn't true. As a copreneur and business coach to copreneurs, I know that the most important key to a successful marriage is that the husband and wife honor and respect each other. I can recall one of my own clients, for example, whose husband made it very clear to her that he thought her business was doomed to failure at the outset. He communicated his lack of faith and disrespect to her with great clarity and conviction, and she got the message. She also got a divorce.
I was also surprised to read Dr. Marshack's advice where she says: "Most couples are shocked when I advise them to avoid compromises at all costs." I find this advice shocking too! It's bad advice! In all fairness to Dr. Marshack, she does go on to explain that a partner in a copreneur relationship should not acquiesce for the sake of avoiding conflict. Yes, we should not sacrifice our principles in order to get along, but this does not mean that we should not compromise. Rather, compromise is a way of seeking common ground, as well as gaining insight and understanding about your partner.
I do not want to give the impression that this book has little to offer or is a waste of time to read - that is not the case. There are, in fact, some great pearls of wisdom in this book, just not enough of them to warrant a better review. One of my favorite statements, also from the chapter on Communicating with Your Partner, is: "Communicating effectively is more of an attitude than having specific skills, and the skills seem to emerge when your heart is in the right place." That is a great lesson, and I must say that I couldn't agree more.
I am not inclined to recommend this book to my clients or to my fellow copreneurs; this is not because it doesn't contain some useful information, but because so much of the book is academic rather than practical. However, it may be helpful for those professionals who coach, consult, train, and otherwise work with copreneurs, as long as you don't mind wading through a lot of pedantic meanderings in the process.
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2 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Good Advice, October 3, 2000
This review is from: Entrepreneurial Couples: Making it Work at Work and at Home (Hardcover)
My wife and I recently opened a home-based business, and were given this book as a gift. As anyone trying to start a business knows, you don't have a lot of free time to sit around reading but with Marshack's book we made the time. Her advice on how to support one another both as business partners and as husband and wife was very helpful. We both reccommend it with enthusiasm!
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