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Not so Epic Bowling for Movies Score
on August 24, 2013
Epic (well, NOT-Epic might be a little closer to the truth) Bowling for Movies Score: 147 of 300
Bowling for Movies is a score that I, just your average dude (hereafter referred to as The Movie Dude), have come up with to rate and score movies. I gotta lot time on my hands and I watch movies - many MANY movies. Using the latest technology and a mixture of pseudo and quasi science, I have developed a formula using chili dog sauce and kettle corn (which literally has nothing to do with bowling) to capture the pure essence of Hollywood magic... displayed as a score ranging from 0 to 300. A score of 108 would be a "just ok, not particularly good / bad" movie, where a score of 192 would tell you it was a very good movie. Now, break 200 and you've got something really special. Throwing too many "gutterballs" will land you under 100 and well - you get the idea. :]
Epic - we own the 3D Blu Ray combo pack
Movie Explanation (no-there is too much, let me sum up):
A teenage girl gets more than she bargains for when, by chance, she is drawn into a secret society of little people known as Leafmen who are involved in maintaining a sacred magical balance that keeps the forest alive. Having been transformed into a pint-sized heroine, M.K. must help the Leafmen save the day in this fish-out-of-water story loosely based on a popular children's book.
Bowling Score Breakdown:
Strikes (what I loved)
I need to be blunt - this movie had the best CGI animation I think I have ever seen. EVERY detail on EVERY leaf on EVERY tree was wonderfully, carefully, and lovingly placed. The characters were rendered to near photo-realism. I would pay money to simply have been able to walk around the forest and interact with creatures therein... wondrous to behold! We watched the movie in 3D and here I have to tell you, the film visuals were incredible - no ghosting, no blurry side shots, simply done to perfection. These guys know how to animate a feature film. Academy Award level animation here.
Spares (what I liked)
Adding to the stunning visuals is a good soundtrack which isn't too surprising - when Danny Elfman is around, good music follows. He's like, the man.
Gutterballs (what I didn't like)
I hate to say it - there were several gutterballs in this movie. It's sad because there was so much going right in the animation department but... the story was weak, watered down, and uninspiring. "Epic" is really a misnomer, the story was a bad mix of eco-warrior action, silly `unlikely friend' humor, Disney-esque dead parent sadness, and back to the action/adventure - all strung together in a ho-hum, let's get to the end already tale. I started looking at my watch 20 minutes in which is not good because this movie had such potential. I know this eco-warrior theme is all the rage right now but it's been done (and better). I'd say this movie would prove interesting to kids in the 7-10 age bracket which is pretty thin. Besides this I just have to tell you - I can remember a day when kid's movies had boy heros and those seem to be a rare beast these days. I have a daughter (hereafter called Little Miss Movie Dude) so I am totally down with the girl lead in the story idea but it seems like we have been inundated with princess type movies for well over a decade - it might be interesting, cinematically, if Hollywood was a little more equal opportunity, just saying. We could be doing better than this and I think it would help freshen up these 'been there, done that' stories.
Hey, if you have a question about this review, feel free to leave a comment and I will try to answer promptly. I will be leaving more movie reviews with bowling scores so check out my other reviews. Bowling for Movies is in no way affiliated with Amazon nor do I have a website or other business interest - I'm just a dude who watches movies (and dabbles in quasi/pseudo-science) :] Want me to review a movie and score it in an Amazon review - I'd be happy to - if I have it, you'll get it.