Customer Reviews

Epic Movie

5 star:		(19)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(12)
2 star:		(18)
1 star:		(75)

 

 

This is perhaps officially THE worst movie I have ever had the displeasure of viewing. Uncreative and dull, Epic Movie does nothing more than throw distasteful gags and humorless jests to the screen, hoping that the mess will somehow stick. Unfortunately, it doesn't. Don't bother with this stinker. Try Pirates or Borat! instead.

0/5

Nobody goes into a movie like this thinking they will see great art, but I was hoping for at least a modicum of cleverness and originality. I didn't find it here. This movie just isn't very funny, not even in a stupid, toilet humor kind of way. I also thought it a bit weird that the main film parodied was "The Chronicles of Narnia," a film I'm sure many little kids saw. There is no way an 8 year old should see this movie. There is way too much sexual innuendo for that. I'm sure some of the target audience for this movie saw "Narnia," but I think it would have made more sense to parody the "Lord of the Rings" films, since they are geared for an older audience. I can think of a lot of stupid movies that are genuinely funny, but this isn't one of them.

Here's a list of the films parodied in "Epic Movie": "The Chronicles of Narnia," "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," "The Da Vinci Code," "Pirates of the Caribbean," "X-Men," "Harry Potter," "Snakes on a Plane," "Nacho Libre," and "Click." You'd think that such a large gathering of material would have resulted in a parody that was actually funny, but no; "Epic Movie" doesn't even transcend the parody genre, let alone the genres it makes fun of. The best that can be said about this film is that it's slightly amusing, which isn't nearly enough to allow for a satisfying experience. Yes, I know these kinds of movies are supposed to be extremely silly, and yes, I know that "Epic Movie" delivers exactly as it promises. Nonetheless, I think parodies should have at least one funny joke in them--you know, something that results in laughter.

The film starts with a narrator informing us about four orphans that fate will reunite. The first orphan is Lucy (Jayma Mays), who we first see in the Louvre Museum, running from the masochistic albino monk who murdered her beloved curator (a cameo by David Carradine). She follows several clues--such as a message written on the Mona Lisa saying, "So lame the hair of Tom"--all of which lead her to a vending machine. She then finds a Willy chocolate bar, opens it, and finds a golden ticket. She'd probably be more excited about her find if only she weren't as dumb as a brick; what other kind of a person would run through a museum in stiletto heels?

The second orphan is Edward (Kal Penn), who lives a dreary existence in a Mexican monastery. One day, he decides he's had enough of the awful food he's served everyday (especially since on that particular day, his meal is a dead cat). This doesn't sit well with Nacho Libre, who orders a child no older than nine to beat Edward senseless. Luckily for Edward, he grabs hold of a monk's Willy bar just as he's being thrown through a window. Inside is a golden ticket, which Edward thinks will mark the start of a better life.

The third orphan is Susan (Faune A. Chambers). We first see her as she's riding a plane, where a swarm of snakes have inexplicably taken over. In marches a Samuel L. Jackson wannabe, who does nothing but continuously shout how he's had enough of these snakes. He then grabs Susan and tosses her out the plane. Thank God this character lives in a parody world, where a Paris Hilton look-a-like is enough to break such a long fall; she even gets to mutter her trademark line, "I'm so hot," before she's crushed by Susan. And it seems that falling over thirty thousand feet wasn't a total loss; Susan reaches into Hilton's purse and finds a Willy bar, which contains a lucky golden ticket.

The fourth orphan is Peter (Adam Campbell), a mutant that's a misfit even amongst mutants (his special "power" is the ability to sprout puny chicken wings and run away feeling scared). No one will give him the time of day, not Mystique (Carmen Electra), and certainly not Magneto (Jim Piddock), the school's principal. When he uses his power to open a locker door, Peter walks directly into it, causing him to hit his head and fall to the floor. As would be expected, a group of mutant students laugh and walk away. But then a Willy bar falls out of the open locker, and Peter finds a golden ticket waiting inside.

The four orphans reunite at Willy's factory. Unfortunately, the joy and happiness will have to wait. This is because Willy (Crispin Glover) lets them in on a little secret; his candy tastes so good because it's made from human parts, specifically those of orphans. In attempting to escape, the orphans find a wardrobe, one that's actually a portal to the land of Gnarnia (spelled with a silent G for legal purposes). There, they learn of a prophecy stating that two sons of Adam and two daughters of Eve will defeat an evil queen with a dirty name (Jennifer Coolidge), who rules Gnarnia with an iron fist. If there's to be peace and tranquility throughout the land, it's up to our four clueless orphans--and the half lion, half human Aslo (Fred Willard)--to save the day.

Having just given a plot description, I'm beginning to wonder why I even bothered; this is the kind of film that completely disregards story for the sake of heavy handed jokiness. Consider the numerous pop culture references: a faun named Mr. Tumnus gives Lucy a tour of his house in the style of MTV's "Cribs," showcasing the lifestyle of a hip hop star; Edward escapes the queen's castle with the help of a Jack Sparrow parody (Darrell Hammond), who stars in a spur-of-the-moment rap music video; during the end credits, Edward is in a prison cell with a Mel Gibson parody, who holds a half-finished bottle of alcohol. I understand the direction the filmmakers were going in; parodies often include such references, if for no other reason than staying on top of current events. But if one hopes to make fun of today's day and age, one should go about it with the intent to make people laugh.

The real version of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" has Freddie Highmore saying, "Candy doesn't have to have a point. That's why it's candy." I suppose the same can be said for parody films, even if they fail to be funny. If pure mindlessness is what you seek, and if you see the humor is portraying the "Harry Potter" characters as wasted losers, then by all means, go and see "Epic Movie." I maintain my position that it's an unfunny film that you need not waste your money on. When I reviewed "Scary Movie 4" a year ago, I said that renting an older parody film like "The Naked Gun" or "Hot Shots!" would be just satisfying. In the case of "Epic Movie," I think renting an older parody film will be even more satisfying; at least none of those films have a scene of Sudoku being played by peeing in the snow.

For fans of older spoofs, such as "The Naked Gun" series and Mel Brooks' movies, like Spaceballs, I am afraid "Epic Movie" will prove to be an earth-shattering disapppointment. It would be better that you watched some of the above movies again. It will surely entertain more.

The masic plot, (totally derived from other movies almost verbatim and mixed up a little), is that 4 orphans from different movies find themselves in the factory of Willy Wonker, who has some nefarious plans for them. Escaping to the land beyond the wardrobe, you can pretty much guess what happens next with some not-so-subtle alterations.

What you have in this movie is an attempted spoof without any vestige at all of originality or adaptation. While it is hard to say whether this movie reaches the depths of Bewitched (Special Edition), I think it at least runs a close second.

The one startling positive among the sea of abysmal drivel that is this movie was the character of Jack Swallows. This is not because he is hilarious, (nothing of the sort), but I just thought he did a good job of parodying Captain Jack Sparrow of Carribean fame.

Basically, don't waste your time or your money on this one. There are much better spoofs out there. "Epic Movie" belongs on the trash heap of movies that will be forgotten, if we are lucky.

Saw this at the movies was a last pick on my pepsi points list but choices were low so I got it.Surprisingly it was better this time than at the movies so yeah was worth my points.

Epic Movie, a pointless and mostly unfunny movie, is out to get a get a few cheap laughs in an attempt to keep the parody-movie carousel going. Seemingly out to cash it on some of its predecessors (Scary movies, Date Movie, etc), the directors of this film try to get some chuckles with some of the same material: over abundance of lewdness and profanity, repeated jokes and lines, continual attempts at parodying some recent movies. As one reviewer mentioned, some of the movies that are parodied aren't anything worth making fun of, so at times the humor attempts are a bit perplexing.

What makes this comedy a failure is that there are ideas within each of these films to satirize, but the directors completely miss the mark because they are so concerned with juvenile humor. For instance, the opening scenes, where they are making fun of The Da Vinci Code and then Snakes on a Plane, could have been funny if they had taken the direction of actually mocking those films. What do they do instead with the frantic scene on the plane? Have some guy come out and repeat a line about ten times with profanity in it for some juvenile humor. Ha, ha. Real funny.

There are some other points where they could have used a movie's excessive popularity against it in a satire or parody, but instead they once again just relied on stupidity and immature jokes to make fun. The biggest examples are many of The Chronicle of Narnia scenes, when they first meet the queen ....

Everything about this movie is just about cashing from former types just like it. I'm sure there will be another film type like this within a year, and we might be writing the same reviews again.

Hopefully the directors will decide to change the course of their upcoming comedies and try a different formula in their movies, because their stuff is becoming old quick.

1 1/2 stars

Awful, I saw this movie once when I was really bored and came close to suicide watching it. It is just awful and blows chunks. Don't watch it, unless you are a fan of bad movies, or your good at making jokes at films and can do the Mystery Science thing/Bevus and Butthead to amuse yourself. This movie was overdone, and not funny. By the real D. Miller

Years ago, Ebert reviewed a movie called "North." He started his review by writing, "I hated this movie. Hated, hated, hated it." At the time, I thought this was cruel, and I had seen "North," too. "North" was a bad movie, but it wasn't that bad. But compared to "Epic Movie," "North" is a cinematic masterpiece.

Now I like even dopey, tasteless parodies, like "Not Another Teen Movie," and the Austin Power trilogy. I don't even mind the occasional fart joke, if there's enough clever humor to compensate. But this movie. No one laughed in the theater I was in, and I didn't blame them. It's hard to laugh if nothing's in the least bit funny. I myself snickered once or twice but only because I wanted to justify paying my eight bucks. After it was over, I fought the urge to stay and physically restrain the next hapless audience. Usually, if I hate a movie, I just figure that people have different tastes, however, I could not seriously see anyone enjoying this movie.

"Epic Movie" takes off many recent blockbusters including "Narnia," Nachos Libre," "Pirates of the Caribbean," "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory," "Harry Potter," "Superman," and "The Da Vinci Code." Four (adult) orphans get golden tickets to tour a chocolate factory, then they wind up in Narnia where they must fight the White Bitch. Get it? The White Bitch! Is that funny or what? When I was in grade school we used to call people we didn't like "a witch with a B" and we thought we were hysterical. Jennifer Coolidge plays the witch, and she gets called "Stifler's Mom." That's sure to make your sides ache.

Other parts you may cringe at include a guy drinking from a "chocolate" river, a rapping pirate, a horny lion, a middle-aged Harry Potter with a visibly pregnant Hermione and - whoops, I'm totally ruining it for you. I'll just add that many characters break into song and dance, which is nowhere as entertaining as it may sound. You may enjoy playing Spot the Reference, but the novelty quickly wears off. Organize your sock drawer, pick lint off the rug, clean the cat's litterbox - all are far more entertaining options than sitting through "Epic Movie."

I went to watch this movie with high hopes. Boy was I wrong. This is by far the worst movie I have ever seen. This movie wastes too much time with parodies of Punk'd or MTV Cribs. What were the directors of this garbage thinking. Was this [...] supposed to be funny. Since when is rapping and break dancing considered funny or even better since when is breaking out a DJ Machine during the battle with the White B*tch supposed to be funny. The only positive thing I can say about this film is that the DVD cover is recyclable. Unfortunately, the DVD this garbage is put on is not a rewritable.

Problem with these type of movies today are, that people had already seen too many of them, as it gets to the stage of being "Tired of". When Scary Movie came out for the first time, it was actually good, I had some good laughs and enjoyed the movie. When time goes by, more and more of these kind of movies came to the box office, by the time it reaches Scary Movie 3, It was no longer funny anymore. Epic Movie is relatively the same thing with repeated humour, and many of what I like to refer to as "FORCE LAUGHTER", where as it's not even funny but you force yourself to laugh anyway because you know it's supposed to be funny. Some scenes caught me, most scenes just put me to sleep. In conclusion, this "Water Down" movie is not a MUST watch, but you should see it for yourself, perhaps your taste may be different than that of mine.