Equally Shared Parenting: Rewriting the Rules for a New Generation of Parents [Bargain Price] [Hardcover]

Marc Vachon (Author), Amy Vachon (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 5, 2010

An empowering guide to the Equally Shared Parenting movement, for the millions of Generation X/Yers looking to discover a new model for parenthood.

Equally Shared Parenting arms readers with the tools to create a balanced life that is rarely experienced by the parents of young children-an evolution that goes beyond the involved dad married to the working mom. This is a lifestyle in which couples create their own model as parenting partners, equals and peers. Every couple gets to write the rules that work for them. For Marc and Amy Vachon, it means working equal hours, spending equal time with the children, and taking equal responsibility for the home. No one is the keeper of the to-do lists; neither of their careers takes precedence.

Equally Shared Parenting clearly outlines the benefits and challenges of equal parenting, covering everything from child-rearing practices, career, and home, to self, money, and society. It presents both the philosophy behind this lifestyle and the everyday steps needed to achieve and maintain it, regardless of income bracket, lifestyle choices, or profession.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"The Vachons are the leading edge of true social change."
-Laura Vanderkam, The Huffington Post

"Kids become whole people when they're raised by whole people-the Vachons show us how."
-Gloria Steinem --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

About the Author

Marc and Amy Vachon are the founders of equallysharedparenting.com, the first dedicated resource for egalitarian parenting from the perspective of both genders. Amy is a clinical pharmacist in a management role and Marc is an information technology specialist. REVIEW:

Product Details

• Hardcover: 304 pages
• Publisher: Perigee Trade; 1 edition (January 5, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0399535586
• ASIN: B003H4RAU4
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.8 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,649,622 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars So Grateful for this Book - and Amy & Marc Vachon January 6, 2010

By Michelle D. Barry Franco

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

I love this book. I am so grateful for the stories, the perspectives and the "outside-the-box" thinking that the Vachon's and the other ESP couples in this book bring to the family life option table.

Disclaimer - I am the Michelle of "Michelle and Jim" in Chapter 2. However, that's as far as my interest goes in writing a rave review. Well, that and the fact that Amy and Marc are exceptionally warm and generous people - though I've never met them in person. I am very proud to be a part of this book and I certainly wouldn't be writing this review for all to see if I wasn't thrilled with the outcome. Amy and Marc have done an excellent job, in my opinion, of representing the Equally Shared Parenting lifestyle, in all of it's goodness and imperfection.

I would never try to convince a couple to choose ESP if they didn't both have the desire to equally share time with kids, family financial contribution, personal time and house care. It simply doesn't work that way - through coersion and persuasion. But if you and your partner have any remote desire to explore the Equally Shared Parenting lifestyle I whole-heartedly, with great passion, encourage you to go for it. It is SO possible! And the best start to that venture is getting this book. You will surely find stories, ideas and models here that you can apply to your own life. Seriously - just get the book and see.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars For me, a new paradigm for thinking about parenting July 8, 2010

By M. Schneider

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

I often get asked what I am going to do after I've done this whole "stay-at-home dad" thing? Leaving aside the insulting nature of the question, I actually do think about what's next. Do I want to go back to work either part-time or full-time? Do I want get more involved in my kids' school? Maybe I should get involved in one or two community organizations? I also think a lot about the impact these decisions have on my family. What will happen to my wife's career if I go back to work? How will my kids react? Is there a way to find a balance between a fulfilling career, being the Dad that I want to be, handling the minutiae of everyday family life, and having time for myself?

The book is a practical guide to how real families have found a way to find equality and balance by first arriving at the conclusions that both parents are "fully capable in all family roles" and "both parents deserve to be full partners, and to have a full partner." ESP is not about score keeping or getting your partner to do more work, but instead consciously recognizing that you want balance and equality in your life and you want balance and equality for your partner. The authors use real couples, including themselves, to illuminate the ESP lifestyle, identify some common mistakes, and suggest some rules to follow if you decide to pursue this model.

Obviously, this would be a hard pill for some couples to swallow. Can Dad really give up control of what goes in Junior's lunch box every day? Can Mom cut back on hours at work to spend more time taking the kids to soccer practice? Yes, this means that career paths might get altered. Yes, this means that partners would need to do things they wouldn't normally do. And yes, this means that tasks might be completed in a different way than usual. And yes, most certainly, couples would need to communicate a lot to make this work.

I actually think that this could be a terrific model for families with at-home Dads and breadwinning Moms. These Dads are used to being active in the childraising and housework domains (and have most likely earned some bread at some point), and these Moms are certainly active in the breadwinning, housework, and childraising domains already. And all of us would like a little more time for ourselves.

Certainly something to think about as we consider, what's next. The book is a very practical guide to the in's and out's of this lifestyle and certainly something to add to your parenting bookshelf. Without a doubt, there is something for every couple to take away, even if they decide that the ESP model is not right for their family.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Inspiring and helpful couple January 5, 2010

By Learning New Ways

Format:Hardcover

Really great book that gets into the logistics and common barriers to making the adjustment to modern peer marriage from patriarchal marriage.

Marc & Amy have clearly worked very hard on this, both prior to their meeting and in building their family. Their modeling of this and sharing of it in a personal way is a great gift to all of us.

If you're like myself and struggling to sort these issues out, I highly recommend this book. I grew up in a patriarchal home and found it incredibly stressful and difficult. That alone was enough motivation for me to seek change and to avoid patriarchal marriage myself, but really seeing how such change can work is nonetheless even more motivating. And Amy and Marc remind that you don't have to wait for government action or approval from your peer group or even your own parents. You can make this happen here and now; it just takes two willing, ready and able partners.

In the face of a culture & political economy & religious environment that seeks constantly to put men and women in conflict with each other and to insert a lot of unnecessary melodrama and insecurity in our lives, Marc's and Amy's calmness, candor, and resilence really warms my heart and gives me the sense that there are sane and responsible men and women in the world and hope for our future.

Great job and keep up the good work! I'd love to read a sequel when you're parents of teenagers. :)