Customer Reviews

The Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment

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In order to be licensed to practice clinical psychology in California, it is necessary to take a seminar on human sexuality. That's how I first heard about this book. The organizer believed that this is the foremost text on human sexuality and sex therapy, and now I can see why...

This is powerful, valuable stuff. Here's what makes it good:

1. I believe that Morin's landmark contribution is his "paradoxical perspective on eroticism." It challenges a variety of widely-accepted theories about attraction and great sex. As Morin states, "this new paradigm acknowledges and embraces the contradictory, dual-edged nature of erotic life. It recognizes that anything that inhibits arousal-including anxiety or guilt-can, under different circumstances, amplify it." The paradoxical view is at the heart of what makes this book special. It isn't just some scholarly, cerebral view, but rather a theory with profound experiential/practical significance. For instance, as one more fully experiences the profoundest subjective erotic rewards, one also experiences more strongly the tension between passion and fulfillment.

2. The book unearths readers' own sexual desires and sexual behaviors (or "Core Erotic Themes"), using unique self-assessment tools. Lots of people (including me) feel that this book really helps them see for the first time their sexual essence, which underlies their perplexing historical feelings and behaviors. Somehow, the revelations are more relieving than shocking. As you get to the bottom of what really turns you on within Morin's system, the world may look different! Of course, there's also great value in determining what makes your partner (or potential partner) click.

3. The book provides concrete tools for understanding and achieving peak eroticism ("emotional aphrodisiacs"). These include ways to increase sexual and orgasmic intensity, reduce inhibitions, improve validation received and given, and transcend personal boundaries. Additionally, it provides ways to address "troublesome turn-ons" which lead to destructive, repetitive behaviors.

4.Morin clarifies how to intensify desire and arousal in oneself and others. Much of the work is paradoxical, and explores eroticism in ways not available elsewhere. Moreover, it provides ways to evaluate sexual well-being from the "paradoxical" perspective ("signposts to erotic health")

5. It provides plenty revealing stories of peak sexual experiences. These stories improve understanding, but more importantly detoxify stigma, anxiety, guilt, anger and avoidance. Most people will find their doppelgangers here...

6. The author is a well established sex therapist, researcher, and psychotherapist.

If I have any criticism, it is that the book becomes repetetive in places. So what?

I bought this book because of some issues that I wanted to understand and resolve in my relationship (mostly waning desire.) This is the first book that I've read that doesn't just give some corny advice on behavior change (spend more time together, touch eachother more, etc.) This book really gets at the heart of where our desires come from, how we are influenced by our early erotic thoughts and how this knowledge can help us overcome troublesome issues. The other wonderful thing this book did for me was explain how waning desire is normal and may not signal the end of your relationship. The self assessment tool was also very helpful, as was the non-judgmental analysis of the erotic fantasies of those who were surveyed for the book. It is not smutty and not too clinical in it's approach, just very practical. This is the first book that I feel my spouse will actually read and derive some benefit from. I am recommending it to everyone I know that wants to get in better touch with their sexuality or just improve their relationships in general.

Reading book has been one of the most self-revealing andinsighful expereinces I've ever had with sexual psychology. Why doesWHAT turn us on, indeed TURN us On, over and over again? Is it changeable, and do we have any control over that? This is not a bunch of silly platitudes and self-help garbage you would read in a women's magazine--it's revolutionary, and even though some things were hard for me to admit, Morin is so compassionate and thoughtful, that you really feel like you have the tools and the ability to look at your sexuality with the same generousity, curiousity, and accpetance that he does.

I don't know how to contact Jack Morin, so I will use this review to say "Thank You" for writing this book.

This book has helped me "unlock", reveal to myself and finally...to understand *why* I have behaved the way I have sexually, and why I have made so many of the other "non-sexual" choices I have made in my life (and I have been searching for these answers for most of my adult life).

His thoughtful approach to non self-judgemental exploration, and his practical and conscientous suggestions for overcoming (or accepting) the most vexing facets of your sexual being make for a book that to my knowledge, has no equal.

I can't believe there is anyone who wouldn't be transformed by careful reading of this book, and its value only increases when you are able to pass it on to someone you care about.

If your heart weighs heavy with the choices you have made, and you "question" why you desire the things, people and situations that you do...you must read this book.

This is one of 5 or 6 books I will never be without.

The Erotic Mind challenges the reader to welcome into conciousness many discarded or denied aspects of ourselves. It welcomes us to reclaim the aspects of our sexual and sensuous selves that we may have believed were wrong, bad, inappropriate and secretive. Jack Morin uses humor, clinical case examples and simply stated but elegant concepts to create curiosity about our erotic world. It is an excellent teaching tool for advanced level human sexuality courses that require students to move beyond plumbing and conception to the endless possibilities of erotic excitement. This is an undervalued area of training and education for most psychotherapists. I recommend it highly.

As a professor of sexology and gender studies, I regularly include Morin's The Erotic Mind into my syllabi. The Erotic Mind, unlike most other texts, profoundly explores the messy complexities of what fuels erotic desire. As an AASECT certified Sex Educator, I have found The Erotic Mind to stimulate in-class student dialogue, and to enhance student understanding of psychological aspects of human sexuality. My students absolutely devour this book; specifically the numerous personalized case studies, and the easy-to-comprehend ideas such as Morin's "naughtiness factor." Many students tell me that The Erotic Mind was the only book that semester worth reading cover to cover. What professor doesn't want to hear that?

This book is like a discovery that I'd been searching for myself. It didn't come out of left field for me- I've often asked myself why I could feel frustrated when I didn't know what I wanted. The discouragement from not having an answer to that question was enormous, and it wasn't just a question I'd ask myself of sex, but of many aspects of my life.

That is why this book is great, because Dr. Morin challenges you to appreciate the impact that your erotic life and dilemmas have on your whole life. Feelings you may have buried in fear or shame turn out to be real messages about who you are. I recommend this book for anyone who feels they've had a complicated sexual adjustment, which I suspect is everyone who has gone through puberty. If you are ready to be compassionate towards yourself, this book can help to change your life.

This was a wonderful read as you look into yourself and also others. This book gives insight from both F/M viewpoint which in return helps you understand what the other one thinks and feels and why. It gets right down to where our deepest desires come from, how they are inclined, and how we can actually use this in a positive way and conquer our problem issues. There is a non-judgmental analysis of the fantasies of the people reviewed for this book and that was extremely interesting. The self-assessment tool was helpful. It answers the basic question ...to why does what turn us on do just that turn us on

Congratulations are hardly enough to this impressive and creative therapist and writer. A joy to read and a wealth of learning. I was sorry when I finished the book. While research based, Morin conveys his paradoxical understanding of sexuality (gay, straight, lesbian etc) in a way you have never seen before, and in a way that Celebrates "eros" in our life!!! A must read.

This is simply a wonderful book that explores the parodoxes of human mating. It is well organized, easy to follow and contains a wealth of fascinating information.

Jack Morin centers his discussion around what he calls the "erotic equation." This is that attraction plus obstacles equals excitement. He then goes on to explain how lust and romantic love operate as well the dynamics of what he calls emotional aphrodisiacs. These are emotional states that could lead to the transformation of an emotion into sexual feelings. Some of these are obvious, but others such as anxiety or guilt are less obvious until you read Morin's detailed explantions.

I also think this book is useful for those who are trying to understand some the dynamics underlying infidelity. If you have interests along those lines, I also recommend "The Evolution of Desire" by David Buss and "Private Lies" by Frank Pittman.

Unfortunately, many of the other books I've found that deal with the erotic imagination or motivation for sexual behavior are sorely lacking in depth or treat the topic in an overly academic, clinical or arm's length manner. This book has a lot of meat and is written in a style that makes the concepts accessible to everyone, not just professionals working in this field.