Customer Reviews

Escaping the Endless Adolescence: How We Can Help Our Teenagers Grow Up Before They Grow Old

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This book is wonderful. The authors have done an excellent job of taking a subject that is inordinately complicated--the nature of adolescence, and its relation to adulthood--and rendered it understandable. The book has several strands that combine to produce incredibly helpful insights. There are stories of real adolescents, as they struggle with that place in-between childhood and young adulthood, wanting to move toward the latter without really wanting (or knowing how) to move from the former. There are concepts drawn from adolescent, clinical and developmental psychology that help the reader make sense of the stories. There is practical advice about how to act in relation to our own adolescents--that is, how to change our own behaviors in ways that are most useful to our own kids as they navigate toward adulthood. These aspects, together, provide the most useful and compelling book on the subject that I have read. And the book is inordinately readable--the writing is accessible, the stories are moving, and the writers' tone is inviting and thoughtful. I have never before given such a positive review, but this book is worth it.

This book should be REQUIRED reading for all parents of young children so that we can realize what unintended negative effects our natural instincts to over-nurture will cause.....and to help our children grow into the adolescents and adults they want to be, and that we want them to be! From the first few pages of the book, I was invigorated and motivated and I now have a new critical framework for working through this very difficult time in our family's life!!!!! THANK YOU to the Allen's! (I am sending a few copies to the leaders of my 9th grader's school!!!!)

I found in this book a wonderful clarity about the job responsibility of a parent during the adolescent years. Rather than reacting to the day to day challenges and frustrations of parenting teenagers as is an easy pattern to slip into, it presents a tremendous view into how to get ahead of the game and see our job as creating an environment for their growth into adulthood. It was insightful at very many levels--from reframing common teenage behaviors as a way of understanding what teens really want, to very constructive and tangible ideas on how to channel those needs/desires. Some of the suggestions seem very obvious (e.g. checking yourself when you find yourself doing something FOR them, and seeing it as an opportunity to teach them independence, and finding opportunities for meaningful interaction with other adults), but when placed in the larger context of how to support our children in moving through adolescence to adulthood, they gain a greater imperative.

I appreciated the tone of the book as well. I found it hopeful and supportive, without a trace of condescension or chastisement. Stories of teenage struggles were told with humility and compassion. The authors allowed me to see my parenting mistakes without feeling beaten up! After reading this book, I can think back to many conversations with my children (ages 16 and 13) where they were trying to tell me exactly what this book is saying. Now I get it! Thanks!

This book has changed the way I look at my two teenagers. The perspective it offers makes clear that we don't just have to accept that adolescents will be surly and apathetic--with the right kind of push they can be far more energetic and responsible than we'd thought possible. I only read this book a few weeks ago, but I'm already seeing changes in my teens.

I'm recommending this book to every parent of a teenager I know (and to some parents of children in their twenties, who clearly can use it as well)! The book is literally packed with new insights into what really drives teens, and how we can snap them out of their lethargy. It was also a surprisingly good read (even my husband, who usually doesn't go for this sort of thing, had to admit he enjoyed it).

This is a highly recommend read, and is right on the mark with todays generation. Entertaining but helpful with constructive advice on how to help this delayed generation learn the tools to get out and assume the independence and responsbility that they want to be able to have but are not as able due to poor coping skills. It is a very interesting understanding as to why things are the way they are and offers great tips on how we can control the situation to benefit our young adults.

It was less than I had expected for some reason. I would say that for the most part it just confirmed that using common sense, communication and respect for everyone views is time honored. Times have changed and the age of information has made things that were once taboo much more common and shock and awe as everyday events. What I took away most from this book was sometimes we have to forget or views and listen to our kids speak to us by either voice or deed. They may not always right, but as parents neither are we. Parenting is a learning experience just as growing up is!