Customer Reviews

Essays in Love

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2 star:		(1)
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This is a kind of hybrid novel/philosophical study of romantic love. The plot is, on the surface, a rather conventional one; a man and woman meet and fall in love. Most of the book, however, consists of the narrator (the male lover) reflecting on each stage of the process, from initial attraction to the despair of love's departure. What is perhaps most striking about Essays In Love is how Alain De Botton manages to combine passion and intellect. He is able to adroitly mix a scholarly, intellectual analysis with truly felt emotions. He is also extremely perceptive regarding the often perverse nature of our emotions. For example, he illustrates the tendency of someone in love to feel less highly of the loved one if he or she reciprocates the feeling. From this book, I'd guess De Botton has a background in Western philosophy, as the bulk of the references are from this field. Plato, Kant, Nietzsche, and many others are quoted. Yet the book is never dry or academic; the rawness of the lovers' emotions is always there to keep our hearts as well as our minds intrigued. James Wilby, the reader, perfectly captures the ideas, feelings and nuances of the story.

To be honest, I checked out this book from library after I watched the film based on the book: My Last 5 Girlfriends. The film was interesting, but the book itself was much better!
Very readable book on love and the relationship among lovers. I enjoyed reading it and Mr. De Botton was truly a talented writer.

So utterly relatable, it's more than a little disturbing. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone currently giddy with new love, but for everyone else, this is a surprisingly hilarious gem of a book.

There seems to be a lot of "Love" for this book, but i find that "Hate" was really my sentiment until page 107 out of 212. Since so many people are so taken by this book let me explain why.

1) The New Republic said that this book has a "deep respect for the readers intellect". While this might appear to be true, i find that the author simply compiled a list of footnotes and wove them into the text of a banal story to create a shopping list of philosophers, scientists, artists, musicians and anyone else that could build up the readers respect for his intellect.

The line i hate most is when he questions whether or not the people sitting next to him "might be a Darwinist" for supposing that a candle was actually a penis. The book is riddled with with shallow name dropping like this which makes the author short sell himself, cause he is actually a great academic, but not story teller like Albert Camus (who i feel he tried to imitate... wait, did i just name drop! What a Amazonian Marxist i am! muhahah...)

2) The back story of the book is extremely engaging. I call it a back story because it is just there to hold Botton's references to his past readings and his sometimes insightful philosophies on life and love. As the main character admits most of the most profound moments are found in the littlest of things...The problems is that those little things are blown out of proportion to the point where you want to slap the main character. For this reason I hate both characters in the book and have no empathy for them except hatred of their bland existence based on strawberry jam, who has the key, and teenage make out sessions to forgive one another for not buying the "beloved's" choice of cereal... It seems their whole relationship is based on a good breakfast.

As for summing up his feeling for his "Beloved" (more on that word in a min) in a "Marshmallow", it was a huge let down... I dont know why this would make an impact on anyone, much less the gushy people that have reviewed this book.

3 Then there is the use of vocabulary and sentence structure. Botton covers the book in over use of words like "Beloved" and "Areoplane" and (even British Airways says Airplane!). Then in moments of boredom tosses out overly flowered sentences to make the reader stop and think about what the connection is between The Divine Comedy and Cosmopolitan. It is not a respect for the reader it is just an author who would rather have been born during the time of Shakespeare.

So, why read this book?

1) It is short.

2) There are moments of insight and some good analogies that are made to clarify the complexities of love...Plus you will see bits of yourself at some points, which will make you laugh that you might have done the same things.

3) You might hate the characters so much that, like the Jersey Shore, what more reasons to hate them and keep reading...

4) If you see Botton on YouTube you'll find him far more interesting when he just talks about what he knows best, without trying to be a story teller.