The original wedding planner for gay and lesbian couples—as fun and inspiring as ever in an updated third edition!
Wedding planning is never easy—but for gay and lesbian couples, it presents unique challenges. On top of watching the budget and wrangling your family, you may be wondering: How should we word the invitations? Who can perform the ceremony? What should we say to those who ask, “...why?”
This trusty guide—first published when legal same-sex marriage was just a dream—tackles all that and more. Tess Ayers and Paul Brown explain how to get the planning out of the way so you can enjoy your special day! Here are tips on finding the perfect venue, vows, outfits, cake, kit, and caboodle, as well as:
• Creative workarounds (Have you considered a home wedding?)
• Budget-friendly shortcuts (Supplement the tiered cake with a sheet cake.)
• The latest trends (How to buck the traditions that don’t work for you.)
• And sage wisdom, with a wink! (Rule #1: If you invite them, they may come!)
If you’d rather stay crazy about each other than go crazy, The Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings is for you!
The Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings, Third Ed...
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Book Description
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Editorial Reviews
Review
“Now in its third edition, this guide offers 22 chapters of witty, wise, and practical advice, covering everything from domestic partnerships and the concept of marriage to how to cope (e.g., being gay in a straight world). . . . This indispensable book also contains illustrations, inspiring photographs, and an extensive list of web resources.”
—Library Journal
“A beautifully conceived and illustrated book that tackles every aspect of the wedding ceremony with humor and pride. . . . Tongue-in-cheek hyperbole is the hallmark of this thorough and witty guide, and traditional couples as well as gays will find its lighthearted yet seriously knowledgeable tone refreshing. . . . this book [is] as much a statement about gay life as it is a nontraditional wedding planner.”
—Patricia Holt, San Francisco Chronicle
“[The authors] answer with eloquence and wit the arguments that many gay activists have marshaled in opposition to gay and lesbians codifying their relationships in the same ways that straights do. . . . even the book’s most serious advice is generously larded with humor. . . . [Ayers and Brown] have left out none of the trappings.”
—Charles Isherwood, The Advocate
“A chatty, humorous compendium of traditions, advice, and wedding details geared for same-sex couples.”
—Publishers Weekly
“All you need is love—and this book—to have a great wedding.”
—Melissa Etheridge, musician and LGBT activist
“Everything you need to consider to plan the event of a lifetime—except the man or woman of your dreams.”
—Eric Marcus, author of Making History and Is It a Choice?
“Even the straight and single will get a kick out of this book! I found myself having lesbian-marriage envy!”
—Kathy Najimy, actor and writer
About the Author
Tess Ayers has worked in advertising and graphic design, written for game shows, and was a producer on a number of television talk shows. When she and her partner Jane Anderson decided to have a wedding ceremony in 1992, they were unable to find a proper guide for gays and lesbians, and this book was conceived and born two years later. In the years since then Tess has been busy raising their son, now 17, and works on the boards of several not-for-profit organizations. Tess, Jane and Raphael happily divide their time between Los Angeles and Marin County.
Paul Brown has a BA in theater arts from Harpur College, Binghamton University. Over the years he has worked in theater (treasured every moment), a bit in television (not so much), and a stint in “celebrity journalism” (seemed like a good idea at the time). For the past fifteen years Paul has taught Special Education in Los Angeles. He met Tess Ayers several months before her wedding over two decades ago (then called a “commitment ceremony”). When the honeymoon was over, they collaborated on the first version of this book. Currently, Paul is working on a vocabulary and reading comprehension program for students with learning differences. He has never been married himself but he sure knows how to plan a wedding.
Paul Brown has a BA in theater arts from Harpur College, Binghamton University. Over the years he has worked in theater (treasured every moment), a bit in television (not so much), and a stint in “celebrity journalism” (seemed like a good idea at the time). For the past fifteen years Paul has taught Special Education in Los Angeles. He met Tess Ayers several months before her wedding over two decades ago (then called a “commitment ceremony”). When the honeymoon was over, they collaborated on the first version of this book. Currently, Paul is working on a vocabulary and reading comprehension program for students with learning differences. He has never been married himself but he sure knows how to plan a wedding.
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
I purchased this book after a loooong search and found it to have a wealth of fantastic information for gay and lesbian weddings. It is written from a candid viewpoint, takes into account double groom and double bride weddings, parents, invitations, locations, etc. Basically it is a great jumping off point to help find resources and go about planning your special day, whether you want to be more traditional, or do your own thing. The chapters devoted to dealing with family members were especially great, and the use of humorous stories and experiences made the book very personal.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition
The Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings is an essential read for any same-sex couple planning a wedding. The authors offer describe traditional practices and offer insightful suggestions on how same-sex couples can adapt these practices for their own celebration. They make it clear that couples can have as traditional or as non-traditional a celebration as they desire. The authors also provide helpful checklists to help couples think through the many things that go into planning a wedding and to organize their thoughts.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
By sturgis 2010
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
I appreciate the explanation of wedding traditions (bouquet toss, garter, rings, etc.) so I can decide if I want to use them in my wedding.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
The Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings
I absolutely love this book! It has been wonderful. I really am happy how it keeps me so organized. I have enjoyed planning my wedding.
Published 1 month ago by Sweetbrit15
4.0 out of 5 stars
Great first read!
I'm hoping to get married myself and this book was a great first book to read to get an understanding of what I need to be aware of. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Eterna
3.0 out of 5 stars
OK
Could have been so much better, didn't really use it at all because it was not what I was looking for.
Published 4 months ago by CG, Arizona
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great book!
Bought this book as a gift for a friend that is preparing to get married! She loved it and said it was the best guide she has found available!
Published 7 months ago by Andre D. Haynes
5.0 out of 5 stars
It's a treat
The Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings is...well...essential. Other than the loads of interesting information, it's a joy of a book to pick up, skip around in, dig... Read more
Published 12 months ago by JohnSmart
5.0 out of 5 stars
A must read
A must read when planning your own wedding. Aside from what one would expect to plan for in one's own wedding, this book brings up things we never considered. Read more
Published on May 10, 2011 by Richard L. Mogan
5.0 out of 5 stars
You don't know how much you need this book until you read it!
Great ideas, great support, read it cover to cover and found great information I wasn't even looking for! A must have and a must to hand down to the next lucky couple in your life. Read more
Published on February 9, 2010 by Chrystal D. Hajek
5.0 out of 5 stars
CHOCK FULL O' FABULOUSNESS!
How many wedding planning books are there for straight couples vs. gay couples? Right? Well the good news is that this book alone makes up for the lack of volume(s) on this... Read more
Published on January 9, 2010 by Madelyn Evans
5.0 out of 5 stars
Wonderful Resource for Gay & Lesbian Couples!!
I bought this book to help with the planning of our wedding and found it to be an amazing resource (really saved the day and covered subjects we hadn't even considered! Read more
Published on December 9, 2009 by M. Boyaner
5.0 out of 5 stars
Clever, and practical - a whole new way to look at Wedding...
I was looking for a gift to give a close friends who decided to plan a wedding. They loved the book and we read some of the trivia and witty comments out loud for fun. Read more
Published on November 24, 2009 by B. Chesters
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