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Essential Manners for Men: What to Do, When to Do It, and Why Hardcover – October 21, 2003
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From Publishers Weekly
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
“A helpful manners survival guide for figuring out those sticky everyday situations.” (Joshua Piven, coauthor of The WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook)
“[Peter Post] has masterfully tackled a specific market that desperately needs his advice.” (Letitia Baldrige)
“. . .tells men, in a readable and unscolding way, the basics of what they need to know.” (Chicago Sun-Times)
“. . .a fast-paced and witty guide to help men handle everyday situations.” (Charlotte Observer)
“. . .a sensible, realistic guide for men on how to relate to others with grace, courtesy, and charm.” (Elegant Weddings magazine)
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Top Customer Reviews
Post begins by defining etiquette as the desire to be respectful, considerate, and honest toward those around us (and balance the three). Manners are defined as the ways in which these three things manifest themselves. With these definitions in mind, once can easily go through both the book and life having a good idea of what to do/not to do in a social setting.
Post has divided his book into three major sections: Everyday Live, Social Life, and On the Job. In each, he has several examples of "dos" and "don'ts" that seem silly to even address (loudly burping while at a business function, using deoderant, not calling female co-workers "Sweetie"), but he also has many techniques and guidelines that are quite helpful--this is especialy so for infrequent occasions like job interviews, attending a wedding, or "working a room" at a business-social function.
Another aspect of this book that I enjoyed was Post's writing style. Knowing that etiquette is often viewed as an "upper class" type thing, Post plays into this stereotype tonge-in-cheek as he uses fictional examples of visiting vacation homes on the beach and attending cricket matches. He also writes in a "high class" yet very readable style and uses humerous names for fictional charactes (Dan Petrefied, Heather Nervous, etc.).
While older gentlemen will probably have mastered many (but probably not all) of the manners and techniques Post writes about, younger men will probably benefit most from this book. Some can benefit from a little refining or incorporating techniques, others are probably doing just fine in social situations, but can use the confidence boost that this book can provide. Recommended.
I had several epiphanies because this book explains WHY. Now I understand the *reason* for putting the toilet seat down, not using profanity, etc. These eye-openers were not what I expected and make the manners obvious so that there's nothing to remember. There is a simple discussion of staring (ogling) and how to avoid it, and it works!
The author acknowledges that etiquette does not apply everywhere. The two other books on men's manners I looked at were somewhat dogmatic and arbitrary, and this was the jewel.
Contrary to another review, the only mention of a vacation house and cricket is on pages 120-121 as a hypothetical example of something that the invited guest is UN-familiar with. For the record, I find Peter Post to be remarkably accessible and down-to-earth. He writes openly about passing gas, spitting, and other "small grossnesses." (The message is HOW to do these things if you must, rather than just "don't do it.") I did not find any paragraph to be the least bit pretentious, condescending, snooty, or hoity-toity.
A man is more attractive when confident. This book triggered long-overdue changes in how others respond to me, and raised my dignity.
I, personally, was not taught the manners that I apparently should have been. I grew up in a place with little formality and little pretentiousness. As this book explains, manners are not a matter of pretentiousness, though. They are simply the behaviors that keep people from feeling uncomfortable. Once you begin to understand this, these quirky, silly rules become a little more fun and a lot more tolerable.
This book covers most of what you will need to know. Most of the things in here are common sense enough, but the one thing that it really helps with are circumstance-specific pointers (including a VERY useful guide of appropriate vs. inappropriate business/casual clothes).
One thing that it doesn't mention, but that may be well out of its purview, is that communication is an oft difficult but always essential factor of any relationship. ANY relationship, be it business, personal, or with an acquiantance or stranger. The fact of the matter is that this book is largely about interpersonal rules of communication (verbal and non), so it may not be as out of the way as it initially seems. A chapter or two, or pointers in the individual chapters, covering appropriate methods to discuss more situations would have made this from merely essential and really good to absolutely essential and superb.
This is about the only drawback, though. I read through this in less than a day. It is about 150 pages, so it should take most people four hours of reasonable concentration. Its pointers are invaluable, and most of them are simple enought that, once taught, you will never forget.
All told, a wonderful primer for any young man.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I am not one for usually writing reviews. I will say that anyone, male or female, should get this book. Read morePublished 24 days ago by Rob M
I read this book shortly after I was married. It was excellent for my personal and professional development as a man. I highly recommend it.Published 2 months ago by C. R. McDowell
Gave as a gift to my man. Not because he is ill-mannered. It is very insightful information of how to handle various situations in the workplace, out in public and with friends. Read morePublished 6 months ago by Kari V
Purchased for my son to help him with unfamiliar social situations he might encounter. Was so proud when he told me he already knew most of the stuff in it because I had already... Read morePublished 7 months ago by Kara
No question this is a really good book, and I can and do recommend buying it.Published 14 months ago by J.W.
This is the book to get and there was a whole lot that I did not know or only thought I knew. I had often wondered why people were very turned off by me to where I was being... Read morePublished 19 months ago by Abel Soto