Customer Reviews

Essential Guide to Wedding Etiquette

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I knew very little about wedding etiquette, and after reading this book, I practically feel like an expert myself. I found bits on etiquette in this book that I had never even heard of before. I found the sections on ceremony etiquette and wedding party etiquette especially helpful. Highly recommended!

I love this book! I was so overwhelmed when I found out how many books were available about wedding planning. The first and only book I bought during my engagement was this little etiquette book and it was the only one I needed! I recommend it to all my engaged friends. It has lots of helpful tips regarding ceremony, invitation, guest list, etc.

I truly wanted to like this book, since our society is fast losing its civility, but unfortunately this manual of etiquette seems to have been researched from wedding websites and bridal magazines (which are, of course, designed by the industry with profits in mind rather than manners) rather than accepted rules of civility.

The author includes some excellent advice, such as how to announce your engagement to family and friends, but other advice is just plain bad, particularly in bringing up money (sorry, brides and grooms, but it's no longer your parents' job to pay unless they offer) and who should pay for what (these "rules" went out the window when couples stopped being married directly from their parents' homes).

The most egregious advice is perhaps that of the wedding party: the author assures the couple that the wedding party isn't just to have dear friends stand up for you. It is their job and thus entirely reasonable to expect them to spend their personal time working the wedding (no - that's what a professional wedding coordinator does) and their personal funds to host parties (showers and bachelorettes are gifts, not entitlements). I was particularly appalled at the section on how to "remove" a wedding party member. There is in fact no way to do this unless a couple is prepared to end the frienship permanently, because it will.

If you're looking for true wedding etiquette, and want to adhere to accepted rules of polite society, then I recommend the excellent works of Judith Martin, aka "Miss Manners" or Emily Post rather than this tome.