Evelyn Ink was formally trained to be a parachutist, but found it did not fit her longstanding desire to avoid heights and thus decided to study a much less vertically horrifying subject; English Literature.
Due to the world-wide web of conspiracy which surrounds Evelyn Ink, she rarely appears in public, but when she does it’s best to avoid her due to her enduring history of social disrepute. There has been more than one regrettable event regarding bent cameras and shattered umbrellas.
It’s hard to say how old she is, but it is likely she was born well before you were. Her childhood home, deep in some unknown, but undoubtably pleasant countryside, was turned into a plastic bubblepuck factory forcing her family to move deep into the Stonegrave Mountains. These Mountains were unfortunately chosen to be used as an experimental avalanche catastrophe (EAC) site and once again the Ink Family was forced to move. It seems ill-fortune struck again and again as they were repeatedly obligated to change locations: once due to a plague of urban badgers, a fracking sinkhole, and then again when a tuna factory’s waste disposal sight was established just outside their home.
As an adult she has continued on in this nomadic lifestyle, crossing oceans and continents when necessary. Necessary being: under the scrutiny of the press, unwarranted investigations, and an ill-timed anarchist fan base. Mrs. Ink was quoted saying, “The prompt, brutal reports of the local tabloids are most inaccurate. Unrelated to that, I advise everyone to avoid the newspaper as it is insufferably dull these days.” Mrs. Ink also prefers the term “vacation” to “exile.”
That said, Mrs. Ink continues on writing and publishing while in exile . . . sorry, on vacation, with her husband, who (name unknown) is thought by many to be both an anarchist and mad philosopher.
You may choose to follow Evelyn Ink on her blog (http://evelynink.blogspot.com/), although due to her absolute terror of electronics and a crippling phobia of the social media (technical term: Socmephobia), her blog posts tend to be infrequent and erratic. Also, due to several post exile investigations and her current relocation program, she is generally prevented from giving specific information regarding her whereabouts (Though, by the hollowly echo and vintage-like hum of a rotary phone, I would suspect from our last conversation, she is somewhere deep underground).
This report was conducted by:
Mr. Edwin Riddle
Of Public Relations, Personal Investigates, and Subterfuge.
A few quick reviews regarding Evelyn Ink’s new book Ill-fated:
“Thrilling and twisty. A roller coaster of a read.” –-Scout the Cat
“Wicked Fun!” –– The Queen of England
“Pulsing with thrills and humor, Evelyn Ink takes readers on a rolling adventure, all the while unraveling quirky characters and devious plots!” –– Spindelay Jacks
“I thought the horse was funny.” –– Random Child
“I can’t say I hated it.” –– The French