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Ever Upward: Overcoming the Life Long Losses of Infertility to Define Your Own Happy Ending. Paperback – April 7, 2015
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About the Author
Top Customer Reviews
As a therapist, Justine knows how to help her clients handle the gamut of emotions in most situations. As a human, it's not always that easy. Justine speaks to us, walks us through her journey- the different phases of infertility and how she handled it...and finally, to the point where she OWNED her childfree life. She delights in her chosen family, and shows us that there is life beyond infertility.
As a fellow warrior, I know the struggle of infertility. I was blessed with a first child, but suffered from secondary infertility. I know the feelings of shame and failure. I rode the crazy train of infertility drugs, hormones, and planned sex (ugh!!) as well, and finally accepted that my body was only able to bear one child. I thought I had made my peace with it, but reading this book brought up those emotions of doubt, shame, depression and failure again....but then, in the time since I've read it, re-owned those feelings.
Thank you, Justine, for sharing your journey in the most public ways possible. You are such an inspiration to so many people. Let your light shine!!!!
Reflecting on the book:
Millions of couples are currently battling the silent pain of infertility. These same couples are subject to well-meaning, but often times embarrassing or humiliating questions, such as "Why don't you have children?" or "Why aren't you adopting?" I've questioned myself many times over whether or not I should write about infertility, when I hadn't taken every step necessary to obtain a child. Reading this book helped me realize that there are many other women out there like me, and just because we didn't do what society says we should have, doesn't mean our story is invalidated. We suffered the pain, heartbreak, and loss that comes with infertility, but our story ended differently.
If ever there was a book written just for me, this would be it. Ever Upward is more than just a story. It is a challenge to us all. It gives us permission to own our stories, and stop making excuses to appease others. Everyone has an idea of what a "normal family" should consist of, but not everyone gets to make that choice for you. Justine says "I choose beautiful in my ever upward mess." Me too. Like Justine, I choose to own my happiness by knowing that I can be childfree, but still remain childfull.Read more ›
I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who has dealt with, or is dealing with, infertility in any respect - whether you're dealing with your own infertility journey or that of a friend or family member, counselors, clergy, medical professionals. Ever Upward offers a very unique and honest look into the life of the (seeming) minority - those who struggle with infertility and DON'T end up with children who are biologically or legally tied to them. And as part of that minority it is so nice to feel represented, accepted, validated, and connected as you say, "I thought I was the only one!"
*Note: I received a copy of this book in exchange for my review.
The passages where Justine describes the IVF process brought back memories of my own experience of the one cycle we did. I found myself nodding my head, remembering the process very clearly, even though my cycle was back in 2007. Her transparency in describing her feelings--the hope, the anticipation--moved me to tears. I remember how that felt.
Because my husband and I chose a different route post-IVF failure (adoption), I was quite interested in hearing Justine talk about why she and her husband decided to live childfree. (Side note: Not sure how much I like that term because Justine and her husband are very intentional about being involved in the lives of their friends' children.) I appreciated Justine's honesty in talking about adoption. She rightly points out that it's not like a couple "just" goes and adopts a baby. It's a lifelong decision and one that's not to be suggested or done lightly.
There was a section in which she talked about how she started taking better care of herself after the IVF failure. Because I've long since moved on, I was a bit distracted during this section. Her tips and advice are excellent for anyone who wants to embrace a healthier lifestyle. I loved the section about the home they found and the massive overhaul they did on it. She does a lovely job of describing this process in hilarious detail.
Overall, I think any woman who has experienced infertility will enjoy this book. As a woman whose path was quite different, this book helped me appreciate and understand couples who opt for childfree living. I value the honesty, humor, and vulnerability Justine conveys in this book. It touched me, and I'm sure it will touch many others.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I wrestled with picking up this book, having read several of the author’s blog posts about childfree living. Read morePublished 1 month ago by Betsy H
Ever Upward is about life, and challenges, and struggles, and infertility, and conquering it all. It's about finding your own happy ending, and not someone else's. Read morePublished 2 months ago by Chris Marshall
Throughout this journey, one can feel alone at times. Hearing another's story - makes you feel like someone is walking the path alongside of you. Read morePublished 2 months ago by Amazon Customer
This is must read for anyone struggling with Life Long Losses…The author has lived this and is also a therapist who continues to work hard every single day to find her Ever Upward. Read morePublished 2 months ago by SF
This book was an eye opener for me in so many regards. I am not familiar with the IVF process but now have a much better understanding of it. Read morePublished 6 months ago by Thomas D Maurer III
I’m someone who tends to power through difficult things. I put my head down and concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other. Read morePublished 8 months ago by Meaghan Shaffer
What an amazing story of courage and self-discovery! Justine tells of her experiences with IVF, how she got there in the first place, and how she moves forward with a life that... Read morePublished 10 months ago by Erin
This book is an interesting, helpful, funny, honest look into one woman's struggle with infertility. Read morePublished 11 months ago by SarahA
Justine writes with such truth. It really spoke to me and was exactly how I feel in my situation. I would recommend her book to everyone struggling with infertility. Read morePublished 11 months ago by Erika Ward