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Every Heart Restored: A Wife's Guide to Healing in the Wake of a Husband's Sexual Sin (The Every Man Series) [Kindle Edition]

Stephen Arterburn , Fred Stoeker , Brenda Stoeker , Mike Yorkey
3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (56 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $16.99
Kindle Price: $12.94
You Save: $4.05 (24%)
Sold by: Random House LLC

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Book Description

Wholeness and Healing for Women Caught in the Crossfire.

As the wife of a man who is addicted to lust, pornography, or masturbation, you are not alone. Millions of men can’t get through the day or the week without clicking on to their favorite Internet porn sites, thumbing through adult magazines, or watching sensual videos–and millions of wives suffer as a result.

Over the past decade, nearly 400,000 men have found inspiration and hope in Every Man’s Battle, the best-selling men’s guide to victory over sexual sin. Now, here at last is the book for every woman who has become a casualty in the fight for sexual purity. Every Heart Restored offers godly guidance and wisdom for a woman facing such personal betrayal.

“WHAT DOES GOD EXPECT FROM ME?”

“HOW CAN I TRUST AGAIN?”

“IS IT POSSIBLE TO OVERCOME PAIN AND UNFORGIVENESS?”

“CAN MY MARRIAGE BE REBUILT?”

“WHAT IF I JUST WANT OUT?”

Filled with stories from wives and husbands at every stage in the struggle for sexual purity, Every Heart Restored addresses the questions and real-life issues that matter to you most. Whether you are facing the startling new revelation of your husband’s sin, dealing with a long-term problem, or cleaning out an old wound, Every Heart Restored will meet you where you are and guide you to healing greater than you imagine possible.

Also available: Every Heart Restored Workbook


From the Trade Paperback edition.


Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

Wholeness and Healing for Women Caught in the Crossfire.

As the wife of a man who is addicted to lust, pornography, or masturbation, you are not alone. Millions of men can't get through the day or the week without clicking on to their favorite Internet porn sites, thumbing through adult magazines, or watching sensual videos–and millions of wives suffer as a result.

Over the past decade, nearly 400,000 men have found inspiration and hope in Every Man's Battle, the best-selling men's guide to victory over sexual sin. Now, here at last is the book for every woman who has become a casualty in the fight for sexual purity. Every Heart Restored offers godly guidance and wisdom for a woman facing such personal betrayal.

"WHAT DOES GOD EXPECT FROM ME?"

"HOW CAN I TRUST AGAIN?"

"IS IT POSSIBLE TO OVERCOME PAIN AND UNFORGIVENESS?"

"CAN MY MARRIAGE BE REBUILT?"

"WHAT IF I JUST WANT OUT?"

Filled with stories from wives and husbands at every stage in the struggle for sexual purity, Every Heart Restored addresses the questions and real-life issues that matter to you most. Whether you are facing the startling new revelation of your husband's sin, dealing with a long-term problem, or cleaning out an old wound, Every Heart Restored will meet you where you are and guide you to healing greater than you imagine possible.

Also available: Every Heart Restored Workbook

About the Author

Brenda Stoeker is a registered nurse, mother of four, and seasoned marriage teacher with life experience in rebuilding a broken marriage. Fred Stoeker is founder and chairman of Living True Ministries, coauthor of the Every Man series, and a conference speaker who has counseled hundreds of men and married couples. Stephen Arterburn is founder and chairman of New Life Clinics, host of the daily New Life Live! national radio program, creator of the Women of Faith Conferences, and the author of more than sixty books. Mike Yorkey is the author, coauthor, or general editor of several books for men, including Daddy’s Home and The Christian Dad Answer Book.

Product Details

  • File Size: 1536 KB
  • Print Length: 272 pages
  • Publisher: WaterBrook Press (February 4, 2009)
  • Sold by: Random House LLC
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B001RLTFKM
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #102,322 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
76 of 79 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Skip it... September 29, 2010
Format:Paperback
(Caveat: I'm one of the men whose sexual sin contributed to my wife's broken heart.)

I picked this book up with great expectation. I had read Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time (The Every Man Series) several years ago in my attempt to conquer pornography. I enjoyed it, but cannot say it helped much. Looking back, the Every Man series didn't offer anything beyond the cycle. If you have any experience with this issue then you probably know about the cycle. It goes something like this:

1) the wife gives it all she's got, but eventually quits
2) the husband gives it all he's got, but eventually quits
3) Wash, rinse, repeat

I felt like Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time (The Every Man Series) called me to give it all I had. Every Heart Restored: A Wife's Guide to Healing in the Wake of a Husband's Sexual Sin (The Every Man Series) basically calls the wife to give it all she's got. (Though I think they even did a rather poor job of convincing me of that, but maybe that's because I'm a man.) The hope offered between these two books (not judging the others in the series) seems to be that the husband and wife will get their cycles aligned and then enjoy marital bliss for the rest of their lives.

I now know of only 3 ways to break the cycle. The first two are suggested and supported by the authors: divorce (legal and/or emotional) or 'aligning the cycle.
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166 of 184 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I plan on posting this under the reviews of this book on Amazon.com about that book I was telling you about.

If you've just been wounded by a man's sexual sin, DO NOT read this book. I picked this book up under the guise it was supposed to help wives deal with the emotional, mental and physical aftermath of her husband's sexual sin (porn and/or affairs), but it's more about justifying a man's bad behavior and stressing how the burden of correction is on the woman.
My first problem with this book is that it's written by a man. As a woman, there's healing in hearing how other women felt, dealt with and hopefully overcame this crisis. A woman who has been devastated and wounded by her husband does not need to hear the cool, casual and dismissive remarks of this male author. Nor does she need to hear how she should be excusing her husband's behavior because he is biologically prone to sexual sin, had an absentee father or experienced childhood abuse. Let's not forget that many people have had bad childhoods and either end up in serious personal troubles or grow up to have productive lives -- it's all about choice. A bad start in life doesn't excuse one's poor life choices -- regardless of gender. What's worse is the author condemns women for wallowing in their hurt and sorrow, calling it a sin to stay in that frame of mind. Well, yes, we need to eventually move on from our pain toward healing and forgiveness, but do not condemn a devastated, betrayed woman for what she is feeling. She needs to feel in order to move on. Let's not forget God knows what it feels like to be betrayed. The Old Testament is full of passages on God speaking about the hurt, rejection, betrayal and sorrow He felt over his people constantly rejecting Him and committing idolatry.
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39 of 43 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Deceptive Title July 14, 2007
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
If you've just been hit with the revelation of your husband's "secret life", this book may not help. The title is deceptive because it implies that you will be healed after reading it.(Healing is God's job!) I was frustrated with the first few chapters, because it dealt with man's sexuality rather than the wife's torment. My raw agony was nowhere to be found within the pages of this book. However, this book was still useful. Overall, the book was all right.

There were nuggets of practical advice and hope. I liked the way views from both wives and husbands were presented. The most important thing I learned was that it is possible for a husband to love his wife and still sin against her. I don't understand it or like it, but I believe it and this book does a good job of introducing that concept. I also learned a lot about the importance of a Christian wife's role of encouraging her husband spiritually. I liked Fred's description about how Brenda influenced him by lovingly refusing to accept anything less than righteousness from him. I also liked Brenda's attitude that her destiny is forever entwined with Fred's and that when one sins it pollutes the stream for both of them.

If you are in deep pain right now, understand that healing will take lots of time and lots of God. This book won't fix you or your marriage, but it can give you some insight and encouragement. For biblical healing, I strongly recommend "Lord Heal My Hurts" by Kay Arthur.
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27 of 32 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Some good stuff, but.... May 25, 2005
By Jenni
Format:Paperback
This book has some good points, but my anticipation ended largely in disappointment. The book is a bit light. Though truly the only way to get through the effects of your husband's sexual addiction is through God; Brenda's portrayal leads me to believe she is either larger than life or in a bit of denial.

A really bizarre thing Brenda Stoeker wrote was "... two dear old school chums who... suddenly and inexplicable found ourselves in bed together." This oddity begins in the second to the last paragraph on page 222 and continues onto page 223. I am still shocked that she would write something so flip. To describe intimacy with her husband as being like fornication, in my opinion, is completely irresponsible. Considering the primary audience for this book is women who are newly and/or deep in suffering through the reality of their husband's illicit sex, her words are really insensitive. Perhaps Fred's mental adultery is far enough behind them that she can talk so "lightly" about such things, but it shows disrespect for the majority of readers. Also, it is flat out bizarre and out of context in Christian self-help! The book has some good stuff so it really is unfortunate she tossed in that bit of trash and, in my eyes, did much to discredit herself.

Take this book with a grain of salt and, if you haven't already, find really good Christian therapists for yourself and husband! Good luck to all of you in one of the most painful trials of your life.

Helpful books for you and him: Any of the Boundaries books, How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong, Trapped in the Mirror, The Narcissistic Family, writings by Patsy Rae Dawson (gospelthemes.com), Douglas Weiss. Ph.D (sexaddict.com), Mark Laaser (faithfulandtrueministries.com and Edwin Cole, especially Maximized Manhood
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars ... with issues with porn and masturbation but also a great resource...
intense book with lots of info to help the wife of a man with issues with porn and masturbation but also a great resource for church leaders trying to help their families stay... Read more
Published 12 days ago by David Terry
4.0 out of 5 stars Thank you for this book.. it really equips ...
Thank you for this book..it really equips you unsterstand the core issues at hand and assist with tools to tackle them as God is in the center and by faith what those ressults may... Read more
Published 25 days ago by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Need to read!
This book was such an eye opener and helped me tremendously. If you are seeking to understand your husbands sin and need answers this is a MUST have.
Published 1 month ago by Evie
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Great book
Published 2 months ago by Tami Whitely
5.0 out of 5 stars Must Read for Both Spouses
I had just finished reading HERO by Fred and Jasen Stoeker when Amazon’s intuitive marketing suggested this book as one others had purchased. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Art S.
5.0 out of 5 stars Great
Very helpful and comforting. It helped me get through a really tough time and I was able to do it with God
Published 2 months ago by Brittni
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved it - had to buy it.
This book helped me recover from my husband's infidelity. I borrowed it from the library then realized I had to own it.
Published 7 months ago by Godlover
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing healing
This is a phenomenal book to help a woman understand her man and heal from the damage he has caused her heart. A MUST READ!!
Published 8 months ago by Native2Maine
5.0 out of 5 stars Saved My Marriage
I purchased this book after finding out about my Christian husbands porn addiction. I was devested and went into a depression and sadness I can't begin to put into words. Read more
Published 9 months ago by Stephany
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Godly advice
The authors know exactly how damaging lust and seeing your spouse desiring other women can be.
Good Christian guidance to help secure a Godly marriage.
Published 11 months ago by connie pruitt
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More About the Author

Stephen Arterburn is the founder and chairman of New Life Ministries--the nation's largest faith-based broadcast, counseling, and treatment ministry--and is the host of the nationally syndicated "New Life Live!" daily radio program heard on over 180 radio stations nationwide. Steve is also the founder of the Women of Faith conferences, attended by over 3 million women.

Steve is a nationally known public speaker and has been featured in national media venues such as "Oprah," "Inside Edition," "Good Morning America," "CNN Live," the "New York Times," "USA Today," and "US News & World Report." In August 2000, Steve was inducted into the National Speakers Association's Hall of Fame. A best-selling author, Steve has written over 60 books, including the popular Every Man's series and his most recent book, "Healing Is a Choice." He has been nominated for numerous writing awards and has won four Gold Medallion Awards for writing excellence.

Steve has degrees from Baylor University and the University of North Texas as well as two honorary doctorate degrees. Steve resides with his family in Laguna Beach, California.



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Topic From this Discussion
"Every Heart Restored"....NOT!
I wrote a review which was similar. (See N. Williams). I believe An AFFAIR OF THE MIND better hits the mark and the gammit of feelings that the betrayed experiences. I am one year from my discovery of my husband's sexual addiction, and he is eight months into therapy with a Christian therapist... Read More
Dec 8, 2009 by N. Williams |  See all 5 posts
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