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Every Heart Restored: A Wife's Guide to Healing in the Wake of a Husband's Sexual Sin (The Every Man Series) Paperback – July 20, 2010

4 out of 5 stars 89 customer reviews

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Women of the Word: How to Study the Bible with Both Our Hearts and Our Minds by Jen Wilkin
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Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

Wholeness and Healing for Women Caught in the Crossfire.

As the wife of a man who is addicted to lust, pornography, or masturbation, you are not alone. Millions of men can't get through the day or the week without clicking on to their favorite Internet porn sites, thumbing through adult magazines, or watching sensual videos–and millions of wives suffer as a result.

Over the past decade, nearly 400,000 men have found inspiration and hope in Every Man's Battle, the best-selling men's guide to victory over sexual sin. Now, here at last is the book for every woman who has become a casualty in the fight for sexual purity. Every Heart Restored offers godly guidance and wisdom for a woman facing such personal betrayal.

"WHAT DOES GOD EXPECT FROM ME?"

"HOW CAN I TRUST AGAIN?"

"IS IT POSSIBLE TO OVERCOME PAIN AND UNFORGIVENESS?"

"CAN MY MARRIAGE BE REBUILT?"

"WHAT IF I JUST WANT OUT?"

Filled with stories from wives and husbands at every stage in the struggle for sexual purity, Every Heart Restored addresses the questions and real-life issues that matter to you most. Whether you are facing the startling new revelation of your husband's sin, dealing with a long-term problem, or cleaning out an old wound, Every Heart Restored will meet you where you are and guide you to healing greater than you imagine possible.

Also available: Every Heart Restored Workbook --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

About the Author

Brenda Stoeker is a registered nurse, mother of four, and seasoned marriage teacher with life experience in rebuilding a broken marriage. Fred Stoeker is founder and chairman of Living True Ministries, coauthor of the Every Man series, and a conference speaker who has counseled hundreds of men and married couples. Stephen Arterburn is founder and chairman of New Life Clinics, host of the daily New Life Live! national radio program, creator of the Women of Faith Conferences, and the author of more than sixty books. Mike Yorkey is the author, coauthor, or general editor of several books for men, including Daddy’s Home and The Christian Dad Answer Book.
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Product Details

  • Series: The Every Man Series
  • Paperback: 352 pages
  • Publisher: WaterBrook; 1 edition (July 20, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 030745942X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0307459428
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.8 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (89 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #63,003 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
(Caveat: I'm one of the men whose sexual sin contributed to my wife's broken heart.)

I picked this book up with great expectation. I had read Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time (The Every Man Series) several years ago in my attempt to conquer pornography. I enjoyed it, but cannot say it helped much. Looking back, the Every Man series didn't offer anything beyond the cycle. If you have any experience with this issue then you probably know about the cycle. It goes something like this:

1) the wife gives it all she's got, but eventually quits
2) the husband gives it all he's got, but eventually quits
3) Wash, rinse, repeat

I felt like Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time (The Every Man Series) called me to give it all I had. Every Heart Restored: A Wife's Guide to Healing in the Wake of a Husband's Sexual Sin (The Every Man Series) basically calls the wife to give it all she's got. (Though I think they even did a rather poor job of convincing me of that, but maybe that's because I'm a man.) The hope offered between these two books (not judging the others in the series) seems to be that the husband and wife will get their cycles aligned and then enjoy marital bliss for the rest of their lives.

I now know of only 3 ways to break the cycle.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This book is completely mis-titled. I picked up this book thinking it was going to get me through the painful days after I discovered my husband's addiction to pornography and lead me to practical and biblical steps for healing my own heart as well as my relationship with my husband. It has done the exact opposite.

I am not one of these women who don't believe a man cannot speak into my circumstances and have something worth to say regarding my pain. Anyone who brings God's Word to me and offers me hope can do that regardless of their gender, so I am not criticizing this book because it was half written by a man. What I do want to bring across is that the book promises one thing and does anything but that.

I want to briefly share my story. Just two weeks ago I discovered my husband's horrible secret, that for his entire life he has struggled with the pull towards lust of looking at naked women. He did not share that deep struggle before we married and thought he could "control it". Things got much worse 6-8 years ago when the personal computer, then ipad, then iphone all entered our home. Even though we had safeguards on our computers for our kids' sake and I held all passwords he found other ways. The last 8 years or so have been a constant struggle for him. Being held captive for 2-3 months to graphic pornography (no longer just naked women), renouncing it thinking he could 'handle it' for 2-3 months and the cycle would continue until I discovered what was going on.
Of course the hurt and pain came in like a flood leaving me numb with anger, and raw from the pain of the constant lies and betrayal.
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11 Comments 44 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I plan on posting this under the reviews of this book on Amazon.com about that book I was telling you about.

If you've just been wounded by a man's sexual sin, DO NOT read this book. I picked this book up under the guise it was supposed to help wives deal with the emotional, mental and physical aftermath of her husband's sexual sin (porn and/or affairs), but it's more about justifying a man's bad behavior and stressing how the burden of correction is on the woman.
My first problem with this book is that it's written by a man. As a woman, there's healing in hearing how other women felt, dealt with and hopefully overcame this crisis. A woman who has been devastated and wounded by her husband does not need to hear the cool, casual and dismissive remarks of this male author. Nor does she need to hear how she should be excusing her husband's behavior because he is biologically prone to sexual sin, had an absentee father or experienced childhood abuse. Let's not forget that many people have had bad childhoods and either end up in serious personal troubles or grow up to have productive lives -- it's all about choice. A bad start in life doesn't excuse one's poor life choices -- regardless of gender. What's worse is the author condemns women for wallowing in their hurt and sorrow, calling it a sin to stay in that frame of mind. Well, yes, we need to eventually move on from our pain toward healing and forgiveness, but do not condemn a devastated, betrayed woman for what she is feeling. She needs to feel in order to move on. Let's not forget God knows what it feels like to be betrayed. The Old Testament is full of passages on God speaking about the hurt, rejection, betrayal and sorrow He felt over his people constantly rejecting Him and committing idolatry.
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