In Every Pew Sits a Broken Heart: Hope for the Hurting (Hardcover)

~ (Author), Stacy Mattingly (Contributor)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

By turns memoir, Bible study and self-help book, Graham's platform as the daughter of beloved evangelist Billy Graham gives her the credentials to spin this competent tale of brokenness. But she offers more than a famous lineage: "I am qualified to write this book because I am flawed," she writes. She shares her struggles parenting three children through out-of-wedlock pregnancies, drug use and bulimia; her battle with depression and flirtation with suicide, and her disappointment over her two divorces. "I know what it's like to sit in the pew with a broken heart," says Graham. It's her vulnerability in the memoir portions that lend credence to the fairly basic application items at the end of the chapters. (Advice to those experiencing suffering: "seek godly counsel" and "maintain your daily devotional times with God.") Graham finds solace for the brokenhearted through scripture, looking at the lives of Jeremiah, Elijah and other biblical examples. Unlike many inspirational books of this ilk, there's no fairytale ending. Graham admits she is in the midst of a third faltering marriage, but says she's grateful God accepts her as she is—"hurting, wounded, broken." In true Graham fashion, the book concludes with an altar call. Weary Christians disappointed with the way their lives have turned out should find this a heartening read.
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Review

By turns memoir, Bible study and self-help book, Graham\rquote s platform as the daughter of beloved evangelist Billy Graham gives her the credentials to spin this competent tale of brokenness. But she offers more than a famous lineage: "I am qualified to write this book because I am flawed," she writes. She shares her struggles parenting three children through out-of-wedlock pregnancies, drug abuse and bulimia; her battle with depression and flirtation with suicide, and her disappointment over two divorces. "I know what it's like to sit in the pew with a broken heart," says Graham. It's her vulnerability in the memoir portions that lend credence to the fairly basic application items at the end of the chapters. (Advice to those experiencing suffering: "seek godly counsel" and "maintain your daily devotional times with God." Graham finds solace for the brokenhearted through scripture, looking at the lives of Jeremiah, Elijah and other biblical examples. Unlike many inspirational books of this ilk, there's no fairytale ending. Graham admits she is in the midst of a third faltering marriage, but she says she's grateful God accepts her as she is -- "hurting, wounded, broken." In true Graham fashion, the book concludes with an altar call. Weary Christians disappointed with the way their lives have turned out should find this a heartening read. — Publishers Weekly

(Publishers Weekly )

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 224 pages
• Publisher: Zondervan; 1 edition (August 1, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0310243394
• ISBN-13: 978-0310243397
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.2 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #473,628 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

62 of 72 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Caution . . ., August 31, 2004

By	S. Wright (Illinois USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I bought this book because I was looking for encouragement from someone who has "been there." Ruth honestly describes the gut-wrenching emotions and devastating ramifications of her experiences, and she shares some very good thoughts on repentance, God's forgiveness, and setting boundaries. She also speaks to caregivers from a standpoint of knowing from experience what is helpful. The book cover and reviews speak of her struggles, but not until the end of the book does the reader see the grip that her struggles have on her even as she is writing. Her struggles do not disqualify her from having something of value to say. But I am concerned that she is--and has been in recent years--looked to as a source of inspiration and maybe even authority to those going through difficult times. She talks about falling completely into the arms of the Lord and leads her readers in that direction, but it is painfully apparent at the end of the book that she still has serious issues with that, and one is left wondering whether she trusts God with abandon even at this point. The choices she has continued to make almost seem to indicate that she doesn't believe He is as trustworthy as she is telling us He is. Certainly one does not have to be flawless to have a testimony, and Ruth rightly points out that it is the very fact that she is flawed that qualifies her to testify of God's grace and forgiveness. But I came away from this book unconvinced that she has allowed herself to experience the depth of healing and develop the trust that she talks about. And that part of me wants to say, "Show me by your life that you believe what you say." That doesn't happen overnight, and none of us ever completely "arrive." But I'm not so certain that Ruth is ready for the adulation as an overcomer that will likely be afforded her as a result of this book. It's a tough call, because I think one of the problems in the Christian community is that we tend to not be fully open about our struggles while we are in them. We don't want to draw attention to ourselves until/unless we are victorious in the widely accepted sense. Ruth has taken the risk of being honest and therefore, incredibly vulnerable in a very public way. She hasn't had a great track record of reliance on God, but she now must live that out more than ever to be able to withstand the scrutiny of her life that her story will invite. God has already provided the strength she will need for that inevitability--she need only trust that it is there and avail herself of it. And in that, there is a lesson for all of us.

50 of 61 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars DEPRESSING...Would not recommend., November 16, 2004

By	CAT "CAT" - See all my reviews

With great respect to Ruth Graham I give this review. She is to be commended for her candor and the beautiful way she organized and shared the valuable lessons she learned from her suffering. The voice of this review is humble, soft and gentle. I am aware that all of us are all struggling to walk this walk of life. And especially if we are Christians, we are struggling to walk it with God in Christ, and there is much we can learn from each other's walk.

I began reading this book with hopes and even encouraged others to read it. However, as I got further into it, I started to see a pattern of what appeared to be a misuse (or misunderstanding, if you will) of God's grace, love and acceptance. Certainly ALL of what Ms Graham shares about His total embracing of us is true, but Scripture is very clear that when we violate His principles there will be consequences. She alludes to a few of these, however if this is supposed to be a book with advice, it was not made clear to the reader what these violations were and what were the corresponding consequences. Instead, she whisks these painful results away with a trite 'sounding', "God is going to take care of it all" mentality. There was no hope given for avoiding these pitfalls.

Even though Ms Graham can be commended for her candor, (and we certainly do need much more of that type of transparency in the Christian world..."confess your faults to one another that you may be healed",) to not share the correlation between the violation of God's principles and the consequences we go through is to miss the major part of the lesson He is desiring for His people to learn. In otherwords, if we avoid violating His ways as He teaches us in His Word, we can avoid experiencing the negative consequences. A new or unlearned believer might think it was okay to do many of the things Ms Graham did that were in direct violation of God's ways. She would say she "felt" badly, or she would say "she made a mistake", but she would never say, she violated such and such a principle, therefore her children suffered here or there, and if she had done this instead, they could have avoided so much pain. Quite frankly, she came off as trying to justify her "mistakes"...under the disguise of God's acceptance. I do not doubt that her motive is to serve her risen Savior and be used to help His people.

I came away from this book feeling as if the end was at the beginning again...that there was no hope...that she was going to continue to make the same mistakes, that the children and grandchildren would do the same, and so what's the use of learning? Therefore, there is no solution for anyone else.

Now, again, this review sounds a bit harsh, and I have never written a book, but Ms Graham has...I have made just a many "mistakes" as she has, and I and my children are still suffering consequences of those violations. So where do I come off even reviewing this? Over the years, I did learn of many correlations between our violation of Scriptural principles and what we suffer in this world. That's all. Yes, suffering is our calling in Christ, but it is NOT the same suffering that putting your hand on the hot burner produces. We can avoid much of the suffering we were never intended to endure.

18 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars A Little Disappointing..., February 18, 2005

By	KK "kendraks" (Central IL USA) - See all my reviews

As I started to read this book I thought it was going to be a great book. I related to many of her emotions, thought patterns, and so forth. Although I hadn't been through the same types of life experiences. I appreciate her foundational principles she offers of Bible study, prayer, praise and worship, and journaling. However, I was a little disappointed in the outcome of some of her and her family's struggles towards the end of the book. (At the time of publishing she was undergoing a 3rd divorce.) Her advice to help those who care is good but don't rely on her experiences to help you in your own struggles or to encourage you, unless you share her patterns.