Customer Reviews

Every Single Man's Battle Workbook: Staying on the Path of Sexual Purity (The Every Man Series)

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This book is just an additive. If you are single just read every man's battle. this book just asks you questions about what you read in every mans battle. It doesn't really tell you anything new. I was disappointed when I got it. I thought this book was a stand alone but it is just a study guide.

Stephen Arteburn has some good ideas in his main book Every Man's Battle that should have gone into a standalone book for single Christian men, and NOT JUST those who are divorced. Unfortunately, all that exists for them is Every Young Man's Battle, which is written for a teenage and young adult audience. Having this as just a workbook supplement to Every Man's Battle is simply not enough.

I have had this book sitting on my shelf for probably five months. After I received this book, I was wondering why on earth I would bother choosing this book to read. Then just the previous day, I was talking to a friend of mine about needing to read this book, and I was informed that Stephen Arterburn went through a divorce. This meant that I was even more hesitant to read a book, because after all, if it didn't work for him, why read it? As soon as I read over the introduction I knew I wasn't giving Mr. Arterburn a fair chance. I have now read this book, and will share my thoughts with you all.

Before you read any further I want to put in a warning right here. This book review is not meant for children. I will be willingly addressing the issues that Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker, and Mike Yorkey address. I will also be honest in this review as I see things that I can directly relate to and share my own insights and experiences. In this review, I will be direct but not graphic.

The backdrop to Every Single Man's Battle is Stephen Arterburn's reentry into the dating world. Stephen writes this book to aid fellow brothers in Christ who may be single or recently divorced by challenging them to be men who flee from sexual temptation and pursue integrity. The author writes not from a place of superiority or strength, but to walk alongside men who may be struggling with sexual sin. In a society that devalues marriage, and the marriage bed, and instead advocates for shacking up, Mr. Arterburn in this book provides a helpful defense, and response to the sacredness of sex between one man and one woman in marriage.

One of the most enjoyable aspects of Every Single Man's Battle is Stephen, Fred and Mike's courage in dealing with issues such as masturbation and porn. Many men struggle in silence with these issues but the authors provide helpful answers by highlighting how the point of intimacy is to grow closer together with our spouse not to fulfill our fantasies. On this point Stephen and Fred helpfully teach that when sexual intensity supersedes our sexual intimacy the marriage bed becomes defiled (Arterburn, Stoeker, Yorkey, 25).

Although I was raised in a solid, Biblically based, Christian home, I allowed myself to fall right into sexual temptation many times, and in many different ways. I participated in pornography, masturbation, and premarital sex. Even after being married for over a decade, I continue to struggle with sexual purity and integrity. Rather than fleeing from sexual sin, I allowed myself to fill my mind with the drug of sex, and sought not my wife, but my fill of adultery.

The authors in this book do not dance around the issues but press the reader to understand the issues they examine from a biblical worldview. For example in the first two chapters they cover the issue of sex, masturbation, and pornography, as well as accountability. They quote one pastor, Mason, who is in his thirties and single who says: "Single men should not live alone" (28). Chapter two makes the point that all Christian men should have godly male friends who pray with them and hold them accountable to the Word of God as they wage war against the sins of the flesh (Romans 13:11-14).

In September, I choose not to be accountable in my war against sexual sin, and decided that I didn't need anyone to help me. In reflecting on this time in my life, I realized I acted like a fool. At this time, I was blessed with some money coming in from some work that I was doing, and instead of being wise with my money, I gave into my sin and went to a strip club.

At least one of my friends knows about that night where I gave in and chose to sin. On that night I was thinking about calling someone to talk to about my sinful thoughts, but ultimately talked myself out of calling one of my friends and instead gave in fully to my sin. Embracing my sin rather than forsaking my sin that night burned a lot of bridges that I had been working hard to build for a number of years.

Men need accountability it really is that simple. Men need godly brothers to come along side of us, and to, quite frankly, give us a smack upside the head like Gibbs does to his fellow-team members in the original NCIS show. The Christian life is not a war we can engage in on our own. Men need to rise up and link arms with our brothers, and keep fighting. Some people may say, "It was only a strip club", but that strip club took my thoughts off the LORD, off my wife, and put them on an idol. For a moment I chose to love my sin more then I love my Savior. As a result of this occurring, I have resolved in my heart to no more love my sin but to genuinely turn from my sin to Jesus Christ. I now have godly brothers whom I will call, men who will hold me accountable, and smack me upside the head if I screw up again. I'm very blessed by these brothers, these comrades!

Every Single Man's Battle is only three chapters plus an introduction covering pages 6-54. The remaining 129pages are a study guide for Every Man's Battle which serves as an eight week study. Even though this turned out more to be a Study then a book, the value of this book is great.

I rate this book as a must read for every Man, married or not! The topics covered will address some topics that men have often preferred to keep secret. I will actually be purchasing a copy of Every Man's Battle in the near future with the intention of using this study guide as a spring board, not only for my own use, but one I plan to recommend to the men of my Church as well.

Men the battle for our integrity and our sexual purity is a must win battle, and one we cannot escape. The Gospel provides the foundational reason why as men we can overcome sexual sin and be pure. Jesus died to give sinners new life, and as men who are redeemed through the blood of Jesus, and adopted as His sons, we have the ability through the empowering work of the Holy Spirit to put sin to death and put on the Lord Jesus Christ. As men we desperately need to rise up to the challenge to love our wives as Christ loves the Church, and be men of integrity. Men love the Lord Jesus Christ with all their heart, soul, and mind! Let us fight this battle together!

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Waterbrook Multnomah Publishers as part of their Blogger Review Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commision's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

This book entitled, Every Single Man's Battle: Staying on the Path of Sexual Purity is a good companion volume to the Every Man's Battle. Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker have built upon the principles laid out in the first book. This book emphasizes on the single man, giving him a practical workbook for his ever changing and busy life. The beginning of the workbook really takes little time getting to the heart of the matter. Arterburn admits early the singleness may come to a man when they least expect it, relating that his marriage ended in divorce in 2003.

The book relates that men are put, or better said, put themselves in awkward situations. Some are not as point blank as the Kama Sutra that the author was experiencing. Nonetheless, men are put in tempting positions, whether by their own doing on not. What they do with those tempting moment is the heart of this book. God knows what we are thinking; he knows what we are feeling. He made us after all! The first couple of chapters deal with the dangers of disconnection and then not connecting. They try to relate that relationships are not just about sex, they are something more!

How do you deal with sex if you have been already having it? Does God really expect you to stop? Well, yes. God tells us throughout scripture what he expects of us. The author's clearly relate that it is not all about me, but all about God.
The remainder of the book works along with Every Man's Battle. They first look at where are we? It is always good to get your bearings. By taking the reader through the battle and having them apply what they learn a good foundation is laid that can be biblically built upon. It is also important to figure out how we got where we are. We did not just wake up one morning and there we are! No it took time and situations to get there. We need to figure out how and why this happened. You need to build a game plan and one that insures victory. This book gives the reader a well-rounded approach to surviving the single man's world. Not only is it loaded with good and practical advice, but it is built on biblical principles.
The book is one of many in the "Every Man" series. I have used them personally and in my education as a pastoral counselor. I have found them to be very practical and biblically sound.

Disclaimer: To comply with regulations by the Federal Trade Commission 16 CFR Part 255, I am disclosing that WaterBrook Multnomah Press® provided me a complimentary copy of this book. I was not required to write a positive review and the opinions I have expressed are my own.

I have mixed feelings about Every Single Man's Battle by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker with Mike Yorkey. I initially looked at the titled and thought to myself, a single male, "Shockingly, yes, single men do have sexual thoughts." As I began to read the book, I found some problems and much good, but then, on page fifty-one, it changed into "a companion guide" for the single male, to the author's book Every Man's Battle. In other words, to get the full benefit of three-quarters of this book, you have to buy another book. That disappointed me.

The book begins with the authors' stories, and reference is made to how, after one of the author's divorces, God had to go to plan "B" for his life (9). I believe in the Sovereign God Who doesn't make mistakes and doesn't need to turn to a plan "B"!
The authors talk about pornography as being the primary problem of single men, and I question if that is accurate. Perhaps I am not the average single man, but I raise the question about their assumption.

The authors, to my reading, write only about single men who intend/desire marriage. They do no address those persons who have/believe they have the gift of celibacy. Just because one has the gift of celibacy does not mean that one will never have a lustful thought. They need to also address those who are "eunuchs for the Kingdom" - either here or in another volume. Those single men have their own unique set of issues and temptations.

Still, the authors make three points about single men and sexuality which I agree are extremely important: Singles must have others to whom they are accountable - not just to God, but to other human beings who will help them and pray with them and be a human reminder of their desire for purity.

Spiritual revival is of utmost necessity. Everyone needs to be in the Scripture every day, and singles will find help in pursuing after God in pursuing after God - not giving themselves the time and the opportunity to stray.
And, all sex before marriage is sin. We often try to excuse this act or that act, so long it is not a genital act, but God condemns all sexual acts prior to marriage. That is a message we need to hear over and over - it is a message which society finds scandalous, but it is true.

However, the straw that breaks the camel's back, which makes me not recommend this book, is the theology throughout the "companion guide" that as Christians, victory is available to us, but we have to appropriate it for ourselves. They give examples of people who received victory and then gave it away, etc. This is a misunderstanding of the Scripture.
We are victorious in Christ. Period. The battle has been one. We have been justified.

"'Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?' The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ" (I Corinthians 15:54b-56, ESV).

"For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world - our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?" (I John 5:4-5, ESV).

We were born dead in our sin, slavers to the world, the flesh, and the devil. But Christ had given us victory over sin and death through His Meritorious Work on the cross, which satisfies for we who believe.

Martin Luther said that we are simultaneously justified and sinners. Christ has done the work, our debt has been paid, His Righteousness has been applied to our accounts, so the elect of God are Christ's forever - yet we sin.

What does that mean? That we have not rightly or fully appropriated the victory? Has Jesus promised us sinless perfection in this life? No! We are righteous in God's Sight through Jesus. The Holy Spirit now indwells us and leads us to grow in holiness. We continue to sin in this life - though, hopefully, less and less - and when we do, we turn to our faithful Savior and confess our sin to Him and receive the forgiveness He already merited for us on the cross.

I am victorious in Jesus because Jesus is victorious and has made me His own. Now, I struggle and run and fight my way towards the finish line, confessing my sin and relying on Jesus - not on my application of the victory.

[This review appears on Amazon.com and on my blog. I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.]

Every Single Man's Battle is designed as a companion guide to Every Man's Battle, and is primarily geared toward group study. The book delves deep into the underlying causes of sexual integrity issues, and the authors are extremely vulnerable with respect to telling their own stories and struggles. I am not single, nor have I read Every Man's Battle, but even I found some encouraging reminders, tips and tricks.

Overall, this book could be extremely valuable in a group setting--I think it could serve as a great "jumping off point" for discussion. It's not written all that well (intellectually, it could have been ratcheted up a few notches and still been quite readable by all), but the content was good, as is 99% of everything I hear from the folks at New Life.

I read this book month's before I was getting married so the read was meant for the sole purpose of obtaing an new book to review. I thought that this was a pretty good read. The only issue I had was that it was the work book. I didn't have the other book to use, so I was a bit lost. I liked the fact that this was aimed at single guys. Not many books out there are aimed to help single guys stay pure. Its a hard thing for any guy, but I believe its especially hard for single guys. Married guys are able to release sexual pressure with their wives, but a single guys has no way of releasing with out compremizing his purity. I thought that this book was great bcause it shows the reader that he is not alone in his struggle and that he can get through it and all from a biblical perspective.

I received the Every Single Man's Battle Workbook free from the publisher, Waterbrook Multnomah, in return for an honest review. At first, I thought I was receiving the book by the same name. Although I haven't read the book, the workbook, which the authors state was intended for personal use or group study, seems to cover the topic well enough.

The authors (Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker, and Mike Yorkey) speak very straight forward and do not shy away from the topics being discussed. They describe God's will for personal purity for men (not that purity isn't' for women also). They also address how sin may seem fun or tempting in the short run, but it always leads to destruction and emptiness, never fulfilling its promises. Each chapter in the workbook covers several chapters in the book including principles, scripture, and study questions.

Mr. Renninger

A copy of this review is included at RenningerBookReview (blogspot)

Okay, this book, I should start by saying, was a a workbook for becoming, and hopefully maintaining, sexual purity. I read this book without any intention of becoming sexually pure, so I feel as though it may not have been as successful as one would have hoped it to be. That being said, I do meet many of the requirements for a sexually pure christian. I should also note, after reading this book, I am unsure if I should even be considered a christian.

The quality of the read wasn't all that bad. It's certainly easy enough to follow, but since it's a christian themed book there are some things I feel it is missing. Of course, Bible verses helped back up some of the stories and other passages throughout. Things like having a girlfriend or fiancee, to the book, count as still being single. And neither of these are brought up until the last chapter. This seems a bit odd, because I found myself wondering quite a bit about when it would address what it would be like to have a girlfriend and stay sexually pure in the eyes of the Lord.

I don't know. I still feel as though the book was a bit biased. It never covered anything about Gay marriage or Gay couples as I imagined it wouldn't. It also makes men out to be lustful pigs. Hmm, this really isn't true. I suppose I shouldn't say pigs, since they never actually call men that specifically, but it certainly feels this way. What it does say, however, is that our maleness sets us up to falling into Satan's trap and uncontrollably lusting after women, when what we should strive for is sexual purity, seemingly only brought about through Loving God. I mean, this is there point, so why wouldn't they state that?
I guess I am a bit biased too. In fact, I probably have to be to not be fully agreeing with this book, but it just seems like all it hopes to accomplish is how to have a relationship that God is okay with. Through this, you should have blessings. That's great and all, but do I need blessings. Probably.

There are some final things about this book. Firstly, it has some quotes in the beginning that make men seem super stupid. Like, "God couldn't possibly have meant what He said about sexual purity in the Bible, could He? Why would He create us to be sexual beings and then ask us to act asexual? It seems so unfair!" And this, "I always though that since I was a man I would not be able to control my roving eyes. I didn't know it could be any other way." Come on, really? It makes the christian male population seem like all they want is sex, whilst still being called christian (This point is later addressed, but is only touched on).
Secondly, I should really mention that though this book is for personal use, it is perhaps more intended for a group. I would concede it should be read by those who truly do seek to become sexually pure, as it would probably be a good tool, but make sure you have the supplemental Every Man's Battle as well. They go together. If you are going to read this, to become pure, then I also recommend reading it in the time track it suggests with other men, instead of in a few days and alone, like me.

"I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review"

Before I get into my blog about this book, I just wanted to clear the air, as they say, and let you know that I am NOT single, but am extremely happily married. I was given this book by a publishing company called, Waterbrook Multnomah to review as part of their blogger review program.

And now we begin...

This series of books has been a great help to me in my life. While in college, a group of fellow men and I went through Every Man's Battle, then we went through Every Young Man's Battle and they both were great books that helped us to be honest with our struggles with sexual purity.

Although this book was mainly about sexual purity, I found there were some key elements that would help to deal with other sins as well.

1. Accountability - Throughout all of the Every Man's series, one of the biggest points they seem to hit on is accountability. I've had a couple of great accountability partners over the years who have been there for me whenever I needed them. I highly recommend that if you don't have an accountability partner, that you seek one out.
2. Victory with your eyes and mind - There are 2 chapters, one is entitled "Victory with your eyes" and the other "Victory with your mind." I still remember this concept from reading the 1st book in the series. They state that if you don't look at something that may make you fall into sin, and if you don't let you mind take you somewhere that might make you fall into temptation, then you will have a much better chance of not falling into that sin. I remember them referencing a sumo wrestler who lives inside of you and how if you continue to feed the sumo wrestler with images and with thoughts about sexual impurity, that it will get to the point where you can no longer defeat the sumo wrestler, and he will end up winning. This is also true with any other sin as well. If you personally continue to tempt yourself with these sins, there will come a time when you can no longer win and you will be defeated.
3. Scripture - There are tons of great Bible verses throughout this book. I really appreciated how the authors realized that without Scripture, your fight with sexual purity and any other sin is going to be a huge defeat. I would recommend taking some of the verses shared in this book and memorize them for the next time you feel tempted by sin.

This book has a great workbook that is about 3/4ths of the book. I would highly recommend going through this book with a group of men and not by yourself. There are tons of great points to talk about in a group. You will also need a copy of Every Man's Battle, as it references it a lot.

I really liked this book. It brought back a lot of ideas and concepts that I learned back in college and reminded me how far I've come since then and how grateful I am to God for bringing me here.