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Everyone Communicates, Few Connect: What the Most Effective People Do Differently Hardcover – March 28, 2010

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Full of anecdotes from readers of his books (including Encouragement Changes Everything) and his website (, the latest self-help from prolific bestseller Maxwell is so readable, audiences may not realize until the end that it contains little in the way of practical advice. Instead, Maxwell offers vague platitudes like, "being a giver is usually a win-win. It can energize you while it helps others," without providing the meaning or context to make proper advice (what would "a giver" look like in conversation? How can readers become givers?). A great deal of the book is devoted to first-person anecdotes by those who have worked with Maxwell and his books, who make much of Maxwell's skills, but little of the steps they took to improve their own communication abilities. Those looking for concrete help won't find it here; Maxwell doesn't get much more specific than when he writes, "Connecting is the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases your influence with them."
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About the Author

John C. Maxwell, the #1 New York Times bestselling author, coach, and speaker who has sold 25 million books, is called America’s #1 leadership authority. In 2014, Maxwell received the Mother Teresa Prize for Global Peace and Leadership from the Luminary Leadership Network, and was named the world’s most influential leadership expert by Inc. and Business Insider. His organizations—The John Maxwell Company, The John Maxwell Team, and EQUIP—have trained more than 5 million leaders in 188 countries. For more information visit



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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Thomas Nelson; 1 edition (March 28, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0785214259
  • ISBN-13: 978-0785214250
  • Product Dimensions: 6.4 x 1.1 x 9.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (324 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #10,672 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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More About the Author

John C. Maxwell is an internationally recognized leadership expert, speaker, coach, and author who has sold over 19 million books. Dr. Maxwell is the founder of EQUIP and the John Maxwell Company, organizations that have trained more than 5 million leaders worldwide. Every year he speaks to Fortune 500 companies, international government leaders, and organizations as diverse as the United States Military Academy at West Point, the National Football League, and the United Nations. A New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and Business Week best-selling author, Maxwell has written three books which have each sold more than one million copies: The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, Developing the Leader Within You, and The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader. You can find him at and follow him at

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

50 of 53 people found the following review helpful By Lantz Howard on April 7, 2010
Format: Hardcover
This book is not for everyone because some do not have a desire to connect. This book is only for those who wish to improve his or her connecting skills and abilities. The book is practical and the language of the book echo's Maxwell's writing style. There are numerous quotes that he uses to frame a chapter or a section around that one quote. Neither good or bad that is how Maxwell writes. Occasionally Maxwell seems to "bragging" about his success or possibly he is being relational and showing how he has used the principles in the book to connect with others.

Here are a few practical tips that may seem like common sense to most, but unfortunately common sense does not mean we implement these traits into our daily life. Three questions that we long to know when connecting;

* Do you care for me?
* Can you help me?
* Can I trust you?

Finding common ground in relationships is important and overlooked. To overcome this one needs to ask questions and explore the other person's interest. This can be done by what some would say "playing ignorant" in your conversations. Once you approach someone as a "know it all" or arrogant walls are built and connection is lost. Asking questions allows you to be in a place of humility and sometimes this may be achieved best by playing ignorant. This principle has to do with simplicity in speech or what Maxwell said as "talk to, not above." People are longing for conversations not debates. Practice humility by asking genuine questions. Here are a few questions to help you connect;

* What do you dream about?
* What do you sing about?
* What do you cry about?
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82 of 92 people found the following review helpful By Book Reviewer on March 19, 2010
Format: Hardcover
For starters, contrary to my initial thought, this is not a textbook on preaching. Does this book help those who preach? You bet. There are a handful of tips within the first three chapters alone that will equip and challenge any preacher to do a better job of connecting. One of the great reminders that Maxwell makes is that even those who connect best can learn to connect better.

There are times throughout where Maxwell may seem to toot his own horn, but don't read into that too much. He goes on to share numerous examples of his failures and immaturities early on in ministry and life. Honestly, through his transparency about his own immaturity, I better connected (pun) myself to the book.

Secondly, this book is thoroughly practical. It is practical for preachers, public speakers, and the everyday person who desires to better relate with people. There are many underlying implications in the book such as...

Your words are extremely important, but there is more to connecting than just speaking.
Forget your agenda.
Remove the focus off of yourself and value others.

It is in the later chapters that Maxwell focuses on the practicality of Connecting. On the practical side, Maxwell motivates and encourages the reader to strive to connect better. Despite previously reading some Maxwell's leadership books, I did begin reading this book with a theological lens and I quickly realized that Maxwell is writing to motivate and equip people to connect better. Therefore he writes from a process or step-by-step perspective, not so much a by God's grace alone will you connect better.

3 thoughts that quickly came to mind when reading through the book...

This should've been the textbook used in college for my public speaking class.
There are principles & practices throughout this book that could be beneficial for evangelism training.
This book is a treasure of rich quotes...both from Maxwell & others.
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36 of 39 people found the following review helpful By ServantofGod on January 30, 2012
Format: Hardcover
Pardon me for regarding myself as a good communicator and self-help book lover who always put what I read into practice. Despite my complacency, I am obliged to comment that this book improves me much. It's so interestingly written in abundance of memorable stories and practical advice. In short, a must read!

p.s. Below please find some of my favorite passages for your reference.
It's not enough just work hard. It's not enough to do a great job. To be successful, you need to learn how to really communicate with others. Pg2
Connecting is the ability to identify with people and relate to them is a way that increases your influence with them. Pg3
Jim Collins, author of Good to Great, observes, "Those who build great companies understand that the ultimate throttle on growth for any great company is not markets, or technology, or competition, or products. It is the one thing above all others - the ability to get and keep enough of the right people." You do that by connecting with these people. Pg15
I was trying to get ahead by correcting others when I should have been trying to connect with others. Pg29
Maturity is the ability to see and act on behalf of others. Pg30
We aren't in the coffee business, serving people. We're in the people business, serving coffee. - Nabi Saleh, Gloria Jean's Coffees pg37
Whenever people take action, they do so for their reasons, not yours or mine. Pg43
Two parents raise a child together in the same household, enforcing the same rules. One parent gets cheerful compliance, and the other gets resistance. Why?......People may hear your words, but they feel your attitude. Pg65
The only thing that keeps a man going is energy and what is energy but liking life?
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