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Everyone Communicates, Few Connect: What the Most Effective People Do Differently

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For starters, contrary to my initial thought, this is not a textbook on preaching. Does this book help those who preach? You bet. There are a handful of tips within the first three chapters alone that will equip and challenge any preacher to do a better job of connecting. One of the great reminders that Maxwell makes is that even those who connect best can learn to connect better.

There are times throughout where Maxwell may seem to toot his own horn, but don't read into that too much. He goes on to share numerous examples of his failures and immaturities early on in ministry and life. Honestly, through his transparency about his own immaturity, I better connected (pun) myself to the book.

Secondly, this book is thoroughly practical. It is practical for preachers, public speakers, and the everyday person who desires to better relate with people. There are many underlying implications in the book such as...

Your words are extremely important, but there is more to connecting than just speaking.

Forget your agenda.

Remove the focus off of yourself and value others.

It is in the later chapters that Maxwell focuses on the practicality of Connecting. On the practical side, Maxwell motivates and encourages the reader to strive to connect better. Despite previously reading some Maxwell's leadership books, I did begin reading this book with a theological lens and I quickly realized that Maxwell is writing to motivate and equip people to connect better. Therefore he writes from a process or step-by-step perspective, not so much a by God's grace alone will you connect better.

3 thoughts that quickly came to mind when reading through the book...

This should've been the textbook used in college for my public speaking class.

There are principles & practices throughout this book that could be beneficial for evangelism training.

This book is a treasure of rich quotes...both from Maxwell & others.

This book is not for everyone because some do not have a desire to connect. This book is only for those who wish to improve his or her connecting skills and abilities. The book is practical and the language of the book echo's Maxwell's writing style. There are numerous quotes that he uses to frame a chapter or a section around that one quote. Neither good or bad that is how Maxwell writes. Occasionally Maxwell seems to "bragging" about his success or possibly he is being relational and showing how he has used the principles in the book to connect with others.

Here are a few practical tips that may seem like common sense to most, but unfortunately common sense does not mean we implement these traits into our daily life. Three questions that we long to know when connecting;

* Do you care for me?

* Can you help me?

* Can I trust you?

Finding common ground in relationships is important and overlooked. To overcome this one needs to ask questions and explore the other person's interest. This can be done by what some would say "playing ignorant" in your conversations. Once you approach someone as a "know it all" or arrogant walls are built and connection is lost. Asking questions allows you to be in a place of humility and sometimes this may be achieved best by playing ignorant. This principle has to do with simplicity in speech or what Maxwell said as "talk to, not above." People are longing for conversations not debates. Practice humility by asking genuine questions. Here are a few questions to help you connect;

* What do you dream about?

* What do you sing about?

* What do you cry about?

A highlight from the book is the guide at the end of each chapter that explores connecting one-on-one, in a group, and in a audience. This is a book that everyone needs to practice, but the reality is only a few will implement these practices in his or her daily life.

One area he did not address is the need to disconnect from our media, cell phones, TV, Facebook, Twitter and the numerous other outlets that are causing us to lose this idea of presence and how that helps us connect with others.

I've always been a fan of Maxwell's leadership books. I especially enjoyed his last two: Put Your Dream to the Test and Talent is Never Enough. Regretfully, that was not the case with this latest book. I seriously couldn't finish it and just skimmed the last 3/4 of it.

When writing this book, Maxwell posted chapters online and invited stories and feedback from the public. This book is so bloated with that content and quotes from other books it is almost unbearable. It feels like there is very little original content here. In fact, if you removed all the outside stories, quotes, anecdotes...if feels like Maxwell's original content wouldn't amount to more than a pamphlet.

I realize that Maxwell's writing style has always leaned heavily on anecdotal material, but this somehow felt over the top. John Maxwell has written dozens of truly excellent books, but you can probably pass on this one.

Maxwell has a way of communicating that is definitely an art skill. His new Book "Everyone Communicates Few Connect" is designed to help people reach their full potential by examining how to truly connect with others through communication.

Maxwell shares five principles and five practices to use to develop your skills in communicating. One of the great things about this book is that it can help you correct bad habits of communicating by showing you the right way to connect with others. The chapters cover things like finding common ground with others, keeping it simple, and inspiring others. Life situations are used to demonstrate the principles.

As with all of Maxwell's work, putting these principles into practice personally will result in a difference in how you are perceived by others. This results in knowing that your words matter and influence outcomes because you are truly connecting with others.

Pardon me for regarding myself as a good communicator and self-help book lover who always put what I read into practice. Despite my complacency, I am obliged to comment that this book improves me much. It's so interestingly written in abundance of memorable stories and practical advice. In short, a must read!

p.s. Below please find some of my favorite passages for your reference.

It's not enough just work hard. It's not enough to do a great job. To be successful, you need to learn how to really communicate with others. Pg2

Connecting is the ability to identify with people and relate to them is a way that increases your influence with them. Pg3

Jim Collins, author of Good to Great, observes, "Those who build great companies understand that the ultimate throttle on growth for any great company is not markets, or technology, or competition, or products. It is the one thing above all others - the ability to get and keep enough of the right people." You do that by connecting with these people. Pg15

I was trying to get ahead by correcting others when I should have been trying to connect with others. Pg29

Maturity is the ability to see and act on behalf of others. Pg30

We aren't in the coffee business, serving people. We're in the people business, serving coffee. - Nabi Saleh, Gloria Jean's Coffees pg37

Whenever people take action, they do so for their reasons, not yours or mine. Pg43

Two parents raise a child together in the same household, enforcing the same rules. One parent gets cheerful compliance, and the other gets resistance. Why?......People may hear your words, but they feel your attitude. Pg65

The only thing that keeps a man going is energy and what is energy but liking life? - Louis Auchingloss pg91

All great speakers were bad speakers first. - Ralph Waldo Emerson pg116

Humility means two things. One, a capacity for self-criticism...The second feature is allowing others to shine, affirming others, empowering and enabling others. - Cornel West pg140

A pastor was once told, "Pastor, you are smarter than Albert Einstein." The pastor was surprised and flattered....The following Sunday, he finally asked the member what he meant by it...."Albert Einstein wrote something so difficult that only ten persons could understand him at that time. But when you preached, no one could understand you." - Ronnie Ding Pg150

When I have someone in my company who is not doing well, I ask them two questions: first, "Do you want to keep your job?" ....Second, "do you want me to help you?" - Tom Arington pg158

Insecure managers create complexity. Frightened, nervous managers use thick, convoluted planning books and busy slides filled with everything they've known since childhood. - Jack Welch Pg163

Say things in an interesting way:- You have to give up to go up...People wont go along with you if they cant get along with you....People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. Pg187

Management is about persuading people to do things they do not want to do, while leadership is about inspiring people to do things they never thought they could. - Steve Jobs pg206

The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear. - Maya Angelou pg204

What convinces is conviction. Believe in the argument you're advancing. If you don't, you're as good as dead. The other person will sense that something isn't there, and no chain of reasoning, no matter how logical or elegant or brilliant, will win your case for you. - Lyndon Johnson Pg209

The most influential person who will talk to you all day, is you. So, you should be very careful what you say to you. - Zig Ziglar pg233

As a professional speaker and writer, I found this to be one of John Maxwell's most useful books. I especially like the way he dealt with communication on three levels - one on one, groups and larger audiences. There's a lot of practical, common sense take away as well as many great illustrations and quotes. Like all Maxwell books, it's an easy, enjoyable read.

Everyone communicates few connect is the latest book by John C. Maxwell. I will say, I have been a fan of his for a long time so my expectations were very high, and I was not disappointed.

One thing that was different about this book was the fact that John took time to get stories from his readers on how communication played a part in leadership. Tie that in with John's humor, storytelling and facts and it is a great read with many practical points to learn, re-learn and make a part of your daily routine.

One story / point that really hit me, and there were many, was the story about a professor that gave a quiz and the last question was "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?" They thought it was a joke. At the end of class someone asked if that question would count. His response? "Absolutely, in your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say hello." I put that on my lock screen of my phone to help me remember it. It takes making an effort to connect at that level with anyone and to me that is what it all comes down to, making the effort. That is usually the thing we don't feel like.

Again there are many great pieces of information and stories so I highly recommend this book to anyone, and I should say everyone. Connecting is part of life, thanks Mr. Maxwell for your God given talents.

Let me start off by saying that this one of the most helpful books John has come out with in awhile. From cover to cover, this book provided valuable insights, tips and practical advice for become a better people-person.

From the get-go, John lets his readers know that this is something everyone can do. It's not a giftedness. It's an acquired skill. He starts the book by defining the principles of connecting--it's all about others; it's more than just words; it requires energy; etc.

He then presents practical practices for connecting with people. What I love about these principles is that they're not just random, well thought of ideas. They are ideas that have worked for him and for many of his followers. Throughout the book he allows his blog followers to pitch in ideas that have helped them to effectively connect with people. However, their input eventually becomes burdensome. As much as I appreciate his willingness to connect the book to his blog followers, I felt no connection with those people...so their advice/stories weren't received well.

The best advice he gives in this book relates to speaking (though it's not a book on how to speak). He provides a lot of advice for setting your listeners up ahead of time to connect with your message. He shares how he does research on the people who will be speaking too, how he connects with them before and afterward, and how he speaks to them during it. Valuable insights and an overall great book.

John C. Maxwell's book titled "Everyone communicates few connect" is not what you would expect from Maxwell. His other leadership books hit the mark and are worth the read. This attempt at the communication field is not what you might think it is by the title of the book. Maxwell tries to take on communication and blend it with his leadership style message and in doing so the book ends up not really speaking to the communication idea at all. As someone who has studied communication for years I was expecting a book about the aspects of communication and how to look at and alter my communication so others might "connect" better. It is an average book that really speaks little to communication as a whole. I was disappointed and really think that Maxwell could have hit a home run with the book based on the title. It does go to show that you should not judge a book by the cover. I will say that I have always enjoyed other of Maxwell's books and think that he is a fine author. This is just not the book that I expected based on what the cover notes and the title suggested. It is still an average read just don't expect to get a lot of communication application from the book.

John Maxwell has a clarity and writng style that cuts to the heart of the matter with practical ways to address the issues and find ways to improve. Communication is an age old discussion point, no pun intended. From the first breath uttered in that garden of eden we have misunderstood, and misrepresented ourselves, or spoken in ways that are missed, overlooked, or undervalued by others. I appreciate the five principles and five practices Maxwell outlines because they are easily understood, and his writing helps you to make course corrections to improve your communications. Yes, i don;t think this is essentially new material, but I think his fresh application is what kept me hanging on every page.

I enjoy communications of all forms, and have worked to understand my audience, hone the message to be understandable to the target and effectively communicated. If you are like me the process of communicating is a work in progress, always improving, always striving to do it better. This book can help and I would recommend it highly.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their [...] book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255