Customer Reviews

Everything About Me Is Fake . . . And I'm Perfect

5 star:		(22)
4 star:		(12)
3 star:		(7)
2 star:		(7)
1 star:		(12)

 

 

Janice Dickinson is perfect, just so you know. Or at least, she would love for you to think so. In her second autobiographical book, the "Big Dog" turns the focus from her life to herself and her career -- and while at first it's a big loop of trashy enjoyment, her irritating personality taints it all.

In "Everything," Dickinson presents plenty of the nasty behind-the-scenes details of the modelling world, like eating disorders, sleeping one's way to the top, and lots and lots of airbrushing. She also gives detailed tales of who slept with her, who wanted to sleep with her, and the assorted dates she had with adoring male celebrities. Not to mention tips on how to banish wrinkles (which have only sort of worked).

Janice starts off with some basic stuff about supermodels, all anecdotes focused on her not eating, posing in bathing suits in zero-degree weather, and pouting sexily. Then, when she apparently run out of material, she decides to give women relationship tips straight out of a dominatrix's handbook ("Get him while he's down: throw salt in his wounds...") and gives us details of her many affairs, including a rather icky fling with Rolling Stone Mick Jagger.

While "Everything" is fun for awhile, Janice herself gets annoying. Not only is she extremely self-centered, but some of her stories have a hint of fantasy about them. The men -- Mick Jagger, Donald Trump, Bruce Willis, JFK Jr., three-fourths of the Beatles -- all worshipped her, and all the women either adored her, or were nasty and are promptly cut to bits by Janet's oh-so-witty cattiness. Everyone tells her how beautiful, sexy and wise she is.

Gals of normal body size should skip certain chapters: Apparently idolizing the body and industry of her long-ago youth, Dickinson also takes the opportunity to lob a few size-ist barbs at the plus-size models of today. Apparently in her mind, only androgyne waifs (as she once was) are allowed to be models. And when talking about some girls who were late to a modelling show, she comes dangerously close to squawking, "When I was your age..."

The most publicized aspect of "Everything" has been Dickinson's plastic surgery, and that actually doesn't take up a lot of time -- she goes in to get a bunion removed, and gets new breasts. Then veneers, face lifts, and so on. Amazingly, according to some of the latest pictures in this book, all the surgery did was make her eyebrows slant like Spock's.

Janice does have a small number of interesting stories to tell, like the gossipy story of how Mick Jagger snubbed her when she was pregnant, and how she overcame booze and drugs. But for every trashy, fun story, there is another anecdote in which Janice relabels her personality defects as assets, or tells us how astoundingly lovely her butt is.

Despite being a respected judge on the reality show "America's Next Top Model," Janice Dickinson's jaded, dated take on the modelling world gets boring after a while. "Everything About Her is Fake... And She's A Pain."

This is an autobiographical work in which the self-absorbed author likes to refer to herself as the world's first super model. Well, Suzy Parker, Twiggy, and Jean Shrimpton may well take umbrage at that, as they were super models who preceded Ms. Dickinson. Better looking and classier, they leave this author eating their dust.

This book is mildly amusing, at first, as the author cattily takes jabs at her former lovers, naming names. Let me tell you, Mick Jagger and Sly Stallone do not fare too well in this book. In general, the author talks about men in such a derogatory way that, if men were talking about women in this way, they would be called sexist.

The author routinely engages in trash talk, and some of it is acerbically funny. Yet, so often is it repetitious that it begins to pall on the reader. A more shallow, vain, and self-absorbed woman than the author would be hard to find. It is no wonder that she is unable to have long-term relationships, as she seems so one-dimensional.

Still, her book is a no-holds-barred look at her life and the wacky world of modeling, as well as the lengths one needs to go to stay on top of one's game. There is little enjoyment to be had from this book, and a measure of boredom will eventually seep in, as the author repetitively drones on and on about herself. The book is replete with photographs, which show the author in varying stages of her career, including before and after her breast implants.

Good night, but this woman is madly in love with herself!! In nearly every photo caption she proclaims how fabulous she thinks herself. But I found this book to be ultimately rather sad. It's written by someone who spent their entire life thinking that all that matters is the outer shell. And apparently surrounded by people who think the same. Pathetic, sick, sad, horrifying ...perfliction indeed.

I really enjoyed "No Lifeguard on Duty" Dickinson's pre ATNM book. But "Everything about me is Fake" was an irritating bore. Dickinson as usual distorts facts and timelines but this time with absolutely no to resemblance to reality. She shaves off ten years here and ten years there in most of her recollections. She gives the reader the impression that she isn't capable of remembering when things happened or if they really happened at all. Her accounts of her life in her first book were extremely exaggerated yet seemed to contained kernals of truth. This time around her recollections are too distorted to be believable. She never tires of portraying herself as either the victim, the unattainable siren or the perfect mother. Her tale gets old fast. In one episode she says she met Julia Roberts at a lavish party, she says in the 80's, right after Julia filmed her documentary about oranguetangs. Hello, Julia Roberts filmed that in 1998. She wasn't even a big star in the 80's. Petty criticism, maybe. But I like to think the author has some grip on reality. As one who actually watched her Dr. Phil episode, which Janice's details, I found her account laughable and scary. No, the audience didn't applaud her like she was at a Stones concert. In fact when she said she was "perfect" they began to laugh. No it was not a PSA to young women but maybe one for the damage that drugs can cause the brain. It was truly cringe-worthy. Her descriptions of her encounters with John Lennon, President Reagan and Barbra Streisand were surreal. Maybe she met them but I highly doubt what she says happened actually did. Maybe these are inconsequential grievences for some but they completely eroded her credibility for me. While "Lifeguard" was interesting filled with glimpses of the modeling world in the 70's and 80's, "Everything" is more of an homage to the wonderfulness of Ms. Dickinson. I was hoping for interesting tibits about Ms. Dickinson's life with her new found ATNM fame. There are some, like her compatibility with Kimora Lee Simmons. However they are overshadowed by her constantly reminding the reader of the fabulousness of Janice. Which is all well and good in moderation. I always thought Janice was fabulous. I don't know who she wants to convince more, the reader or herself. I am flabbergasted that her editor didn't rein her in, even a tad. I used to be a great fan of Ms. Dickinson's growing up but this book has shown that her rebound success on ANTM has warped her brain even more than it already was. I don't think I'll be purchasing the third installment.

Janice is on top of the world in this book, and she might come off too-bitchily over the top for readers who haven't read her first memoir, No Lifeguard on Duty. In her first book, she reveals a lot of childhood abuse, personal pain, addiction, and turmoil during her super-life. For fans of that book, Everything About Me is Fake is wonderful because it shows Janice back in the game, on top of the world, and it is one heck of a read.

In short, this is a love-it or hate-it book. I loved it and found it bitingly funny, life-affirming, bitch-affirming, woman-affirming, deliciously decadent, and wonderfully revealing. Janice cracked me up while coming off as very "real" (not fake in any way). Highly recommended to people who like to read about the larger-than-life lives of interesting people.

she has a wicked sense of humor. I bought this after seeing her on Surreal Life. She was soooo mean--actually made Omarosa look like a saint! But then something happened...she was starting a motor bike and thought she sprained her "supermodel" ankle. I finally understood--she's funny! Not seriously mean. The "retard" & "rainman" jokes were over the edge, but she IS FUNNY.

So, I bought this book (I bought the first one too, but haven't received it yet--also pre-ordered the next book...)

I couldn't put it down! She names Names! She doesn't pull any punches. Glossy pictures. Janice is totally entertaining. The book is wonderful, a quick read and is never boring! After reading it I bought the other two Janice books--so I obviously give it 5 stars.

I went from a Janice hater to a Janice lover with one "supermodel sprain".

Janice rocks!

I have to say that I was looking forward to this book. Boy was I disappointed! Her first book was filled with her life story, gossipy tidbits, and more. This new book of hers barely skims the surface. There's a few good modeling anecdotes about her's and other's experiences in that oh-so-glamorously-drugged-up-world, but most of the book seems to be her reapeating the same phrase in different ways over and over and over again just to fill up space! She repeatedly contradicts herself, and even her wit doesn't compensate for that. It's as if she was trying to write a self-help/mini-autobiography (unfortunately, it went terribly downhill....fast!). Basically, it was like a really long and really bad diary entry. So if you were looking for a great follow up to, No Lifeguard on Duty, you will be very disappointed. Also, Janice doesn't even come across as that super confident tough girl who she claims she is...in fact she comes across as terribly insecure and pathetic (her incestent rambling about how she is so confident makes this even more evident).

This book is hilarious. Janice, as I'm pretty sure most people are well aware of, has an extremely abrupt and vulgar way with words, and her book is no exception. The most suitable adjective to describe this book would be...bitchy.

While I do think it ironic that a woman with a couple of divorces under her belt hands out advice about men, most of this book was informative. (Maybe dealing with all those damn men made her an expert, hell who knows?)I aspire to be a model one day, and thanks to the self-proclaimed "Big Dog", I won't be accepting any edible gifts from other models/rivals. (Poisoning grapes, that's a nasty business.) It pretty much confirms what every woman over the age of 13 knows : 99.6% of the female sex are calculating, manipulative, narcissistic, obsessive nymphomaniacs. (And who better to teach you this than the first supermodel herself?

This book IS a guilty pleasure, and one that I've thoroughly enjoyed.

First let me say I bought Janice Dickinson's first book "no LIfeguard On Duty" and I loved it. This follow-up is something else. Ms. Thang comes off as mean, self-absorbed, bitchy, insulting (to just about everyone), condescending and well if they ever had a real life "Whore Off" she would win by a long shot.
Ms. Dickinson is constantly referring to herself as "hot", "the big dog" and other hipper and younger sayings that I think should be forcibly removed from a woman her ages' vocabulary.
In my opinion you get what you give. She makes Simon Cowell look like a sweet, kind, gentle man.
She also seems to insult plus-size models. Sour grapes? I bet Mia Tyler pulls down more money than Ms. Thang ever did. I mean does EVERYONE have to be like Janice Dickinson? In her world we would be. If you come off like a skanky ho and look up to Paris Hilton you will attract skanky ho men. No wonder she can't keep a husband. She's too busy screwing everything that moves and sometimes things that can barely move because they're injured. really.
Ms. Dickinson should seriously think about letting go of the past and stop blaming your father for every single thing wrong in your life. Like my momma always says "If you're ugly on the inside, you're ugly on the outside. " No amount of botox, fake boobs, and plastic surgery could ever make her pretty.

I bought this book out of curiosity. Of course I've seen Janice Dickinson on Television and in magazines and I just thought she was this outspoken, rude, Uber Model who could not possibly communicate with those of us who have never been able to afford a Chanel handbag.
Was I wrong! Janice writes in this way that it's like your best girlfriend giving you advise. She's like a voice of reason. Seriously, I wish I had a pocket version of Janice that I could ask advise whenever I needed it. She's like that friend who you wonder what would she do if she was in that situation? W.W.J.D.D. (What Would Janice Dickinson Do?)
She gives a realistic spin to the world of beauty and how it's all pretty much an illusion. She goes into great detail on what she had to go through to stay slim for photoshoots and runways.
She gives get advise about men and how to get treated right. She even maps out senarios to act out.
It's a quick and easy read. It really taught me a lot about life, beauty, and love. That perfection only exhists if you have Photoshop on your computer and some clothes pins to cinch any outfit to make it look good.
Read this book you won't regret it!