Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Ex* [Paperback]

Heather Belle (Author), Michelle Fiordaliso (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 2009

The sex education you never got: what to do when the sex is over—and you're left with an Ex

In 1969, David Reuben, MD, published his groundbreaking book Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex*. Forty years later, we know plenty about sex. The thing we're so confused about, however, is what to do when the sex is over, and you're left with an Ex.

In the age of Google, Facebook, and Twitter, it's almost impossible to leave the past behind. Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Ex* is the answer for any woman whose former relationship is keeping her from finding true love. Written by two family therapists, this book helps readers learn:

• Who holds the power in your Ex relationships
• The best way to deal with an unavoidable Ex
• Solutions to everyday Ex issues (including kids)
• How to handle your boyfriend's or husband's Exes
• How to get resolution with any Ex
• How to learn from your Exes so as to make a better choice the next time

This sassy, take-charge manual is a must-read for any woman who has an Ex.

Praise for Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Ex*

"No matter how codependent or crazy your relationship with your Ex has been, this book will show you how to live and love again."
Melody Beattie | bestselling author, The New Codependency and Codependent No More

"An insightful, entertaining and essential guide to surviving the turmoil and trauma of breakups and divorce. Read this book and you'll learn to survive and thrive in the aftermath of an unhappy relationship."
Ben Sherwood | bestselling author, The Survivor's Club

"If you have an Ex and kids, this book is a must read (unless you want your kids to spend their college savings on therapy)!"
Romi Lassally | author, True Mom Confessions: Real Moms Get Real | founder of truuconfessions.com

"I thought I knew everything there was to know about my Ex. But I never would have guessed she'd be able to turn some of our most shameful follies into such valuable advice. Now our Ex life couldn't be better!"
Michelle's Ex

"When I first became an Ex it was like a brick to the head or, perhaps in better moments, a knee to the groin. But this book adds the one metaphor I was missing—a breath of fresh air. Heather worked hard to become a 'good' Ex, where drama takes a backseat to what's important—our kids and our futures. This book can show everyone that the path from Ex to next can be filled with hope and happiness."
Heather's Ex

(20090817)

Editorial Reviews

Review

This book won't put the "S" back in "sex," but it will help handle and resolve some of the damage caused by "failed love affairs" and let Exes move on with the rest of their lives without having to overcome hopeless, debilitating clinical depression. (James Holland Basil and Spice 20090921)

Much like an ex, minus the regrets, this is a great book to read, love, learn from, and pass on.
(Sacramento Book Review )

Some of us could use some pro insight on factors like how to be friends with an ex, whether you should get back together, why you really shouldn't and, say, moving on. Their new book Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Ex tackles all of this. Anything that helps us step away from the dramz is probably a good thing, right? Read it when you're contemplating a drunk dial. (The Frisky )

Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Sourcebooks Casablanca (September 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1402229232
• ISBN-13: 978-1402229237
• Product Dimensions: 7.1 x 5.3 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #532,588 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars What To Do When The Rose Colored Glasses Shatter, September 13, 2009

By 

James R. Holland "Author of Boston's Notable ... (Boston, MA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Ex* (Paperback)

Once the sizzle in sex ends, all that is usually left is the "Ex". "So what's an Ex? The definition of an Ex is simple. It's a former husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, fling, one stand, affair--all of them! An Ex is anyone with whom you've been sexually or romantically involved." The name of this book is obviously a play on the title of the classic "Everything You Always Wanted to Know abut Sex" by Dr. David Reuben. While this reviewer's memory may be playing tricks on him, I believe even the cover design of this book is a play on the earlier Reuben book cover?
Not so long ago, when a marriage, affair or promising romance ended that was indeed the end except for alimony payments and children's visiting rights. One member of the couple usually stayed put usually in the family home and the other took off for the parts unknown, maybe to never be seen or heard from again. If that was always the case, it certainly isn't that way anymore. People generally stay in the same neighborhood and at the same jobs often in the same company. Both parties of the split often see each other everyday and sometimes they also see and work with the third parties who may have created the split. When kids are present, there is often continuing relationships and sharing of custody. That arrangement is often best for the children of the union. This book helps explain why separated couples often remain or become good friends, confidants, advisors or even share "booty calls' or provide "Ex-Sex." In other words, it's a whole new world--relationship-wise.
As the authors write, "The prospect of living without Exes can seem boring, lonely, and scary. Yet the prospect of living with difficult Exes can seem harrowing, depressing and overwhelming...This book will help you take advantage of what Exes offer: an opportunity to gain personal insight and stop getting stuck in the past. It will teach you how to manage these relationships better. We want you to help your erase the negative effect of Exes and move forward with your life."
Some of the topics examined in this fascinating self-help guide include "How to make a better choice next time," "What your Exes reveal about you," "The best way to deal with an unavoidable Ex," and "How to handle your boyfriend's or husband's Exes."
"Through anecdotes and stories from clients, friends, and any strangers we could find, you'll see why Exes can be the hook holding your back." The two women authors do a pretty decent job of fulfilling these rather lofty goals. Pandora's box contained "greed, vanity, slander, lying, envy, and pining. Oddly, these are all the same traits associated with unresolved Ex issues...by unleashing them from your heart, you can be like Pandora and close the box with only one thing remaining inside: hope."
The two authors know about what they write and recommend. They also know how to communicate that knowledge. While every couple's Ex is different, the chances are excellent that the reader will discover some excellent advice for getting through their personal split and living a happy life after that split. This book is important because breakups have never been as simple and clear-cut as society claims. This book is as necessary as Dr. Reuben's book about sex was. After sex always comes reality whether it is a child, desertion, unfaithfulness, money problems or gold-digging mistresses. Relationships are so much more complicated than they used to be, or the rules were more clear-cut in the past. "Thinking Men Speak the Same Language" is an important fact of life examined by this tome. "Women Think They Have to Tell Men How to Behave" is also explained pretty succinctly. As a typical male, I very much enjoyed this book. Surprisingly, it wasn't too wordy for my taste. It was not filled with endless chick chat that caused my eyes to glaze over and my mind to escape into some sexual or sports fantasy. The book includes lots of pithy quotes from other sources that the reader might wish to examine further by examining the other sources in detail.
This book won't put the "S" back in "sex," but it will help handle and resolve some of the damage caused by "failed love affairs" and let Exes move on with the rest of their lives without having to overcome hopeless, debilitating clinical depression.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars How to wash that ex out of your hair, and blackberry, October 5, 2009

By 

Heather Buchanan "relationship columnist" (New York, NY) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Ex* (Paperback)

Admit it - you still sleep with his sock under your pillow or stalk, I mean stop by, his favorite bar. You call him for that unique hamburger recipe or for his exotic bird expertise - yes you are considering buying a Tucan. The last ties that bind are hard to cut, especially if they are tied to the bed post. "Everything You Wanted To Know About Ex" holds up a compassionate but honest mirror to those of us who have a hard time letting go, and gives us tools to eliminate the toxic ex or deal intelligently with the exes you have to keep in your life, say if you have kids together. With great humor and candor, the authors use their personal and professional experiences to help us navigate the whole new world where exes are everywhere, not only our own, but those of our current loved one. They show us how eliminating ex-citement and the negative drama opens up a new world of positive energy for the future, healtheir, relationship. Teaching by example, when they let go of their ex issues, they had time to write this funny, poignant, and refreshing book.

5.0 out of 5 stars Great overall, June 19, 2011

By 

TB123 - See all my reviews

This review is from: Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Ex* (Paperback)

I think this book can relate to most women. We tend to dwell on the past and wonder where did i go wrong? and constantly try to hold on to something that isn't there. The authors talk about a concept called "snacking" it is where you use your exes to fulfill your emotional or sexual needs and this prevents you from ever moving on. A simple text to say "hey whats up" can actually do you more harm than good. we want to believe that it is possible to stay friends with an ex but it never works out that way does it? i would recommend this book to every woman! there is also a clip on youtube titled "10 signs that you're exing" it is the two authors on the tyra show and they talk about this book and if you want to see the type of advice they give i would recommend watching it. watch it also to see that your ex is holding you back more than you think.