Everything Can Be Beaten [Paperback]

Chancre Scolex (Author), Crab Scrambly (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 7, 2002

Admirers of the well-beloved Mr. Chancre Scolex should find reason to rejoice in Everything Can Be Beaten which, according to the author, is "based on a completely fabricated true story." Mr. Scolex devoted his time and talent to writing Everything Can Be Beaten's compelling story, as well as to designing the book's unique layout and the appearance of its complex, multi-faceted characters. Matching Mr. Scolex's devotion to quality and artistry, Mr. Scrambly supplied colorful painted illustrations. These paintings vividly depict the story of IT, a hapless creature who breaks out of his monotonous existence to explore the realms that lie outside of the only room he has ever known. Bored of a life spent beating an endless supply of kittens, IT ventures outside and discovers a world entirely new to him. Though he is at first elated to find a place full of wonder and happiness, IT soon realizes that he can never belong in this welcoming, joyful land. "Alone in paradise," he is despondent and depressed until he realizes that, indeed, everything can be beaten, even in this strange new world. Writing and layouts by Chancre Scolex (sometimes known as Jhonen Vasquez), paintings by Crab Scrambly.

Product Details

• Paperback: 24 pages
• Publisher: SLG Publishing (August 7, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0943151651
• ISBN-13: 978-0943151656
• Shipping Weight: 0.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (21 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,076,358 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

58 of 60 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars "Everything" can be Fun!, May 19, 2003

By 

Michael J. Lira (Riverside, CA United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Everything Can Be Beaten (Paperback)

I have been a big fan of Jhonen Vasquez's for a long time now. When I found out he had something new, I had to get it.

EVERYTHING CAN BE BEATEN follows the story of IT, a being who's sole purpose in life is to beat kittens. Until one day, when he notices a door in his 'beating' room that leads to... he doesn't know! So, he goes through it to find a cutesy, color-filled, squishy world of joy and happiness! Soon, however, he is saddened by the realization that he is useless in this world. Then, in a fit of despair and anger he discovers that everything CAN be beaten! And beat he does! He beats everything he can find, decimating everything! Then, he sits and waits for a million years or so. Then he does it again!

It's morbid fun with just a hint of philosophy. Not so much so that you think "Hey, this is just trying to teach me a lesson! BLAH! GET AWAY FROM ME!". It's more like "oooh! This is fun! I like it! AND it's educational!" Won't the parent's love that?!

I give it two mallets up!

157 of 193 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Gee, am I reviewing the book itself or the story inside it?, October 8, 2003

By 

Heather Smith (St. Louis, MO) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Everything Can Be Beaten (Paperback)

Once there was a girl named Heather, who loved to read hilarious, slightly sadistic, satirical-type things like Catch-22 and such. One day, during her usual frolic through the proverbial book-leaden pastures of Amazon.com, she happened upon a deliciously insightful little curiosity entitled "Everything Can Be Beaten," by Scolex and Scrambly. Intrigued, she clicked on the link and read the sparkling reviews by many a satisfied customer. "It must be fantabulous!" she concluded, and bought it. Eight long days later, a little brown package arrived. Ecstatic, Heather ripped open the box and pulled out a small, thin pamphlet that looked like it came in a happy meal. Her heart sank. This was no happy meal pamphlet-it was the book!

Needless to say, Heather was gravely disappointed. She was expecting a small paperback book, as the Amazonian product description puts it. Though it was surely made of paper, it was flimsy and hardly what one would call a proper book. "What type of binding?" one might ask... WHAT binding? It's stapled together!

As far as what was printed inside the book (which is really what counts), Heather was not disappointed at all. In fact, it nearly made her forget how sad the book's outside made her feel. However, she did ask me to mention that every single "e" in the book is printed backwards, which makes it very difficult to read. This taste of dyslexia, although a possibly valuable life experience, is hardly an enjoyable one.

Other than the book's disappointing construction and impossible font, Heather found no fault with it. "Read it!" she says, "But don't expect a high-quality library edition with a sewn binding and easily manageable text." Consider yourself aptly warned.

11 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Content not packaging, January 28, 2004

By 

N. Wu "fionabunny" (Seattle, Wa) - See all my reviews
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Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Everything Can Be Beaten (Paperback)

Don't expect something huge and splashy. It's the idea and story that counts. Besides, it's made by Jhonen, and if you're a fan you'll NEED this.