Customer Reviews

Everything Can Be Beaten

5 star:		(12)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I have been a big fan of Jhonen Vasquez's for a long time now. When I found out he had something new, I had to get it.

EVERYTHING CAN BE BEATEN follows the story of IT, a being who's sole purpose in life is to beat kittens. Until one day, when he notices a door in his 'beating' room that leads to... he doesn't know! So, he goes through it to find a cutesy, color-filled, squishy world of joy and happiness! Soon, however, he is saddened by the realization that he is useless in this world. Then, in a fit of despair and anger he discovers that everything CAN be beaten! And beat he does! He beats everything he can find, decimating everything! Then, he sits and waits for a million years or so. Then he does it again!

It's morbid fun with just a hint of philosophy. Not so much so that you think "Hey, this is just trying to teach me a lesson! BLAH! GET AWAY FROM ME!". It's more like "oooh! This is fun! I like it! AND it's educational!" Won't the parent's love that?!

I give it two mallets up!

Once there was a girl named Heather, who loved to read hilarious, slightly sadistic, satirical-type things like Catch-22 and such. One day, during her usual frolic through the proverbial book-leaden pastures of Amazon.com, she happened upon a deliciously insightful little curiosity entitled "Everything Can Be Beaten," by Scolex and Scrambly. Intrigued, she clicked on the link and read the sparkling reviews by many a satisfied customer. "It must be fantabulous!" she concluded, and bought it. Eight long days later, a little brown package arrived. Ecstatic, Heather ripped open the box and pulled out a small, thin pamphlet that looked like it came in a happy meal. Her heart sank. This was no happy meal pamphlet-it was the book!

Needless to say, Heather was gravely disappointed. She was expecting a small paperback book, as the Amazonian product description puts it. Though it was surely made of paper, it was flimsy and hardly what one would call a proper book. "What type of binding?" one might ask... WHAT binding? It's stapled together!

As far as what was printed inside the book (which is really what counts), Heather was not disappointed at all. In fact, it nearly made her forget how sad the book's outside made her feel. However, she did ask me to mention that every single "e" in the book is printed backwards, which makes it very difficult to read. This taste of dyslexia, although a possibly valuable life experience, is hardly an enjoyable one.

Other than the book's disappointing construction and impossible font, Heather found no fault with it. "Read it!" she says, "But don't expect a high-quality library edition with a sewn binding and easily manageable text." Consider yourself aptly warned.

Don't expect something huge and splashy. It's the idea and story that counts. Besides, it's made by Jhonen, and if you're a fan you'll NEED this.

Okay, this story had great pictures and the idea was funny, but on the whole... It wouldn't be worth more than the three bucks I paid for it. THe book is teeny and stapled together, and lacks the irony and twists that Jhonen is famous for. It's a nice one-time read, but not the kind of thing you savor, like Squee, ZIm, or Nny.

You show me a person who doesn't like to read about kittens being killed with a sledgehammer and I'll be in shocked disbelief. This is a great book, a short read nonetheless, but still a good time to be had by all. Mr Vasquez is a genius, you will not be disappointed with this book.

The bodies of Vasquez (Invader Zim, Squee, Jhonny the Homicidal Maniac) and Bracan proved to be viable host bodies for Scolex and Scrambly. A cute story about finding oneself and smashing everything with a hammer. Oh, the blood and internal organs dripping off walls and the person next in line. Its like going sane in an insane world. And as an added bonus the art work is rather good.

This is the first time I've seen Jhonen Vasquez (a.k.a. Chancre Scolex: "Chancre" - oral sore, "Scolex" - the head segment of a tapeworm.) act as the writer without doing the art himself. The illustrations are excellent with some almost abusively bright colors coming off the page.

Well worth a purchase if you've liked JTHM and Squee but this book is not the usual Jhonen, so don't expect it to be in the exact same vein. Personally, I like to see him stretching and trying new stuff to keep from getting in a rut.

The story follows a pretty normal kid's book theme of an extended travel undertaken by a lonely protagonist to discover some driving question. Just substitute "Can everything be beaten?" for "Are you my Mother?" and you've got a pretty fair idea of how this not-for-kids kid's story shapes up in all of its gory and mawkish fun!

Peter Ward

Jhonen Vasquez has an inner child...and it's as disturbing as the rest of him. Very funny! Worth buying!

Much like bodily organs, this book is proof that good things come in small packages and not for the squeamish.
Lots of things go splat in this tale, in fact, nearly everything in this book! It's not quite like anything else you've ever seen. If you're a fan of Roman Dirge's Lenore then this is probably right up your dark and creepy alley.
Because the story is so short, it's kind of hard to give a review without giving away the ending. The art work goes hand in hand with the story. The text may give you a headache as every 'e' is backwards and the text lines are a bit uneven. But it is all to good effect, making IT (the main character) a little more maniacal than normal type would.
If you've ever wondered about the saying "You can never go home again" then this book will explain why.

Great Wit, wonderful artwork (definitely not for kids)with a wicked moral to boot! Shame about the format, in this case size does matter!