Customer Reviews

Everything Changes: The Insider's Guide to Cancer in Your 20's and 30's

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I myself am a cancer survivor, having battled lymphoma for several years. I came across this book late in my experience, a few years after I reached a long term remission. The book is filled with interviews of young adults who tell their private stories in their battles with cancer. I found their experiences to be interesting, and very close to my heart since I too, had experienced many of their struggles such as with work, dating and living with my parents.

There were a couple of thoughts that settled in my mind after I finished reading this. First off, this book is referenced as "the insider's guide to cancer in your 20s and 30s." It is clearly not a guide. A guide is a handbook, a tool to help you navigate the unexpected or unfamiliar. My question is how many newly diagnosed cancer patients in their 20s and 30s buy a book like this once they hear of their shocking diagnosis. I certainly didn't. The first thought was "what the ^%$$^*(&##" and not, "i guess I'll look up a book on how to navigate the waters of cancer in my 20s." There is so much more than that when you're diagnosed. Which brings me to my next point.

By the time a patient ends up reading this book, he or she have most likely gone thru so much to know what has worked for them and what hasn't. The book, although a good read from the interviews stand point, fails to deliver what new patients needs at a timely manner, not because of the book's fault but because patient's instincts especially young ones are not to resort to a book when they're immediately diagnosed. Sometimes the treatment happens so quickly after diagnosis that you don't have time to read anything. You're relying many times on the hospital and staff to help you thru. A guide remains relevant if the info is delivered to the patient at the right time. The info here is not delivered in the right medium. It is better suited for the web or a podcast. When I read it, I skipped through all the pages that were the "guide" part because I didn't find it relevant or helpful. There was nothing in there that I didn't know already 4-8 months into my cancer experience.

Secondly, I was hoping the author would be the one telling patients and families what to do and how to do it thru her personal experiences (it's her guide right?) yet she simply details a dry laundry list of names and contacts of other places to connect with if you need more help. So, I bought a guide to then connect and seek more guidance? Isn't this a bit like buying a restuarant guide to tell me which web sites or organizations to contact to figure out the best French or Chinese restaurant in town? I was hoping the author would use in a creative way how she dealt with the issues by contacting place A or place B, but be it part of the narrative, not some plain list. She writes well yet the guide part was a bit disconnected and not as interesting of a read. I could have received similar contacts and names by calling local cancer organizations, charities or my social worker at the hospital.

As far as this book helping to guide those in a supporting role like friends and family, it could serve them well to know what 20s and 30s with cancer go thru. I think most people don't have a clue what the author and the interviewees really went thru with cancer so it's great to have a book about it.

I liked the quotes sprinkled around the pages, and the stories around the interviews such as how the author set them up and got to meet the patients. I really hoped though for more thorough descriptions of the author's experiences. She went through a lot and I was hoping to hear more of her issues with work, dating, sex, treatments, etc. If this book is by a cancer patient, then the author immediately brings credibility, yet there wasn't all that much about her. It would have been cool if she chose one patient to interview her.

Not every cancer patient is a heroic cheerleader type.

If the sight of pink ribbons makes you want to hurl (without chemo), then this is the book for you. Kairol interviews young adults who share their darker thoughts and feelings along with tidbits of inspiration. The book is chock full of resources for self education, financial assistance, and dealing with the freak show that is the US health care system.

If you have a 20-30 something close friend or family member with cancer that doesn't necessarily want to "share" or talk about their feelings: read this book. It will give you an insight as to how lonely and private this crappy disease can be and how easily it can shift extroverted happy folks to emo types in a heartbeat. And why that's absoultely OK.

I'm a 30 something stage 4 colon cancer patient and I found great comfort in this book. It's nice to know that I'm not alone on my occasional visits to the dark side.Finally, some validation regarding my twisted sense of tumor humor. Practical and touching.

As someone who has always seemed to know "someone with cancer", I was very interested to read a book about the disease by someone my age. Kairol doesn't sugar-coat her experiences, nor does she seem to dumb down those of her subjects. The book really opens the door to every aspect of cancer, and I expect it would be especially valuable to those with limited income and/or support structures facing the disease.

Although Rosenthal devotes space at the end of each chapter to describing practical resources, I personally found the most value in her subjects' description of how they got through every day, and what they really needed from the people in their lives. Almost everyone reported that friends and attachments slipped away, as those who aren't sick don't quite know how to deal with the person who is. Everyone's different; there's no one method to deal with people with cancer. Taking the time to figure out what your "someone with cancer" wants - and then delivering - may be the best thing a friend can do.

I don't have cancer, but I have friends who do. I also have loved ones who suffer from other chronic conditions. This book, I feel, is for everyone. It speaks beyond simply the cancer experience to any young person who has dealt with arrogant doctors, the Byzantine health care system or managing a love life while facing your own mortality.

Rosenthal is smart and honest and sarcastic in all the right ways, especially about the bumper sticker, feel-good labels society likes to attatch to people living with cancer. My favorite line from Chapter 1:

"Nora helped me understand why I got so feisty when people assumed that as a cancer patient, my disease must have taught me about how precious and fulfilling life can be. I knew how precious life was before I got sick. What I had learned as a cancer patient was far more practical and lifesaving and much less glamorous: I learned how to navigate the labyrinth of health care in the United States."

Finally, this book is just a damn good read. The interviewees are great, and Rosenthal is deft enough to get out of the way of their stories. When she does pop in with insights or her own narrative, it's incredibly compelling. And the resource section in chapter one alone is among the best I've ever seen.

Looking forward to chapter two and beyond!

As a 22 year old recently diagnosed with cancer, I have had a difficult time finding books that address the thoughts, concerns,and experiences of being young and having cancer. I have been reluctant to join a support group, yet have had a difficult time not having others to relate to. 'Everything Changes', for me, bridged that gap and served essentially as a support- with stories,fears, and experiences I could relate to, relayed in an authentic and pure way. The collaboration stories (Rosenthal's and the patients she interviewed), and the resources provided at the end of each chapter have helped me a great deal and would be of great value to any young adult experiencing cancer.

'Everything changes' is quite universal in approach, as rather than sharing just one cancer patient's experience like most other books on this topic, Rosenthal includes quotations and excerpts from many cancer patients she has interviewed; i.e. individuals who differ in gender,raceðnicity, type of cancer and stage, and socio-economic status. This is, in my mind, the greatest strength of this book, it is not limited in scope, nor is it overly optimistic. Instead, it is realistic yet hopeful. One does not feel as though they are being preached to while reading it, but instead, attending a support group of real people sharing their experiences. I would recommend this to cancer patients, their families, and friends. From my own experience I have learned that many friends my age have had very little exposure to cancer, Rosenthal's book paints a clear picture of what living with cancer is truly like--not the romanticized version portrayed on lifetime movies.

As a nurse, and someone who is completing her doctoral dissertation on young adult oncology, I thought this would give me a good patient perspective on some of my endeavors and had minimal expectations. It was real, gritty, thoughtful, and beautifully written. One of the most accurate accounts I've ever read. It was emotionally cathartic and a must read for providers as well as patients.

. . . she came across just like she does in her book -- a little bit wry and sarcastic, always empathetic, very passionate, and unflinchingly honest.

The author sought out interviews of a very diverse group of young people with cancer, and was able to extract very wide range of very compelling experiences. The book is a great mix of the gritty and terrible experience of having cancer, as well as the the absurdities and banalities of life with cancer -- of life dealing with the health care system -- and life in general -- thrown in.

The author is also a strong advocate for expanding health care. She participated in a very interesting interview in September 2009 on "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross where she addressed some of her personal experiences trying to navigate the often-treacherous waters of the uninsured/underinsured in America. That interview is well worth the listen -- seek it out.

I highly recommend this book to anyone with an interest in compelling personal stories, even if you don't have cancer. It is even more interesting if you have cancer or if you know someone with cancer, especially a person who is under 40, and for anyone with an interest in the ongoing public health-care debate.

In the interest of full disclosure - I know Kairol, but I assure you I wouldn't post this review if I didn't believe everything I just wrote.

As a recently-diagnosed young adult cancer fighter, this was the first book I found that spoke directly to ME and MY AGE GROUP, regardless of type or stage of cancer!

I read the Introduction and Acknowledgments sections TWICE because they immediately made me feel not-so-alone in all of this. Much of what Kairol and her interviewees say throughout the book about their thoughts, feelings, and experiences with living with cancer at this age read as if they were my own! I was truly amazed at how well I related to the genuine people in this book.

The Table of Contents may lead some readers to assume that this book only speaks to the single people among us. But that is not true! Married cancer patients, like myself, can relate just as equally to this book. Chapter 3, which is called "Single," is actually full of valuable tips and suggestions for any intimate relationship, and Kairol refers to marriages quite often throughout.

While I felt I could relate to much of what the people in this book have to say, there is an equal amount of new insight, advice, warnings and even humor that I would have never thought of before!

I STRONGLY recommend this book to anyone in their 20's and 30's fighting cancer! Also, it can be just as helpful for parents, family, spouses, and close friends of such cancer patients.

I read this book as someone who wanted to understand better what a friend with cancer was going through and also as someone who has conducted interviews and wondered how a writer can best convey them powerfully. Kairol has succeeded on both counts. Her writing is honest and deft. And the way she moderates, integrating her own personal experience and commentary with the real voices of cancer patients writing, is an amazing feat. This book is incredibly artful and informative!

Journalists tend to yammer on about "news you can use" - reporting that not only grabs you by the lapels and shakes you, but also gives you something you can take away and apply in your own life. Based on the intro and the first chapter [...] Rosenthal is proving you don't have to have majored in journalism or worked for a newspaper in order to rank among the very best journalists out there - you just have to know how to listen, to feel and to write without artifice.

The author is, by grim necessity, immersed in that which she reports, but she's letting her interviewees' voices ring through as clearly as her own; it seems the storytelling is challenging Rosenthal's preconceptions even as it challenges the readers'. The people chronicled in this book, Rosenthal included, have so much to say about the spaces between strength and weakness, hope and despair, being and living and dying. They're giving us a window into what they've endured at the hands of a health insurance system so far out of whack that it would be comical if not for the lives it costs. And, I can only assume and hope, they're providing some support for people who very much need to know they're not alone.

I can't wait to see the rest of this book, as well as whatever Rosenthal turns her keen eye toward next.