Everything I Know About Monsters : A Collection of Made-up Facts, Educated Guesses, and Silly Pictures about Creatures of Creepiness [Hardcover]

Tom Lichtenheld (Author, Illustrator)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 1, 2002 | Age Level: 4 and up

Where did all these monsters come from?

The closet, the basement, under the bed, the outhouse, even the school furnace room! But mostly, they came from a healthy imagination, just like yours!

Using a patented system of made-up facts and educated guesses, Everything I Know About Monsters reveals all the gory details about creatures of creepiness: what they eat (dirty socks), what's in their brains (not much), and how to scare them out of the basement (stand at the top of the stairs, bang pots and pans together, and yell very loudly).

So turn on all the lights in the house and get comfortable. You're about to learn so much about monsters, it's scary!

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Tom Lichtenheld knows plenty about monsters, and fortunately for 8-year-olds everywhere, he's willing to share his secrets in Everything I Know About Monsters, the sequel to Everything I Know About Pirates. Presented as a field guide of sorts, the instructive book begins with a diagram of a typical monster, with the usual characteristics from hopelessly bad hair to weird feet. The guide, which delves into monster psychology (very simple) as well as monster hygiene (very minimal), is divided up by type of monster such as: "Under-the-Bed Monsters" (lazy, eat dirty socks, scared by smiley-face night-lights), "Basement Monsters" (Sock Suckers, Ankle Fiends, Tool Ghouls), "Attic Monsters" ("sit around all day reading old National Geographic magazines that your parents are saving for no apparent reason"), and "Outside Monsters" (such as Big Foot "a Boy Scout gone bad" and Swamp Thang). A handy Monster Avoidance Chart may help kids get a good night's sleep.

Monsters are also discussed from a cultural perspective in sections such as "Man-Made Monsters" (Frankenstein, robots) and "TV and Movie Monsters:" "Lots of monsters audition for parts in monster movies, but they never get the parts because they're such lousy actors." Even space aliens, "not officially part of the monster kingdom," are given play, because they're "fun to draw." The Official Mad Scientist Monster Maker includes three columns of words that kids can mix and match to create a monster name, such as Creepy-Eared Knucklehead or Bat-Nosed Belcher. Lichtenheld's comical, color-rich illustrations capture Essence of Monster most gruesomely, and each double-page spread boils and bubbles with funny captions, cartoons, side jokes, and general silliness. And remember, "If you do see a monster don't overreact. It only encourages them." (Ages 6 to 10--not for kids who are still afraid of monsters!) --Karin Snelson

From Publishers Weekly

The Many-Mouthed Midnight Muncher and the Big Butted Bug Eyed Terrible Tongue Twister are among the horrible creatures pictured and explained in Everything I Know About Monsters by Tom Lichtenheld. Illustrated in campy cartoon style, the sequel to Everything I Know About Pirates contains a tongue-in-cheek Monster Avoidance Chart, a monster brain analysis and the truth about Big Foot (he s a Boy Scout gone bad). (Sept.)
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Reading level: Ages 4 and up
  
• Hardcover: 40 pages
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster Books For Young Readers; First edition. edition (September 1, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 068984381X
• ISBN-13: 978-0689843815
• Product Dimensions: 11.2 x 8.8 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #381,981 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Children's book author & illustrator Tom Lichtenheld writes for kids who love to laugh and adults who love to laugh along with them. His books have been featured in Newsweek and Child magazines, as well as the New York Times Best seller list.
He is available for school and library appearances.
See all of Tom's books and get a glimpse of how he creates them at tomlichtenheld.com

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Monster of a Good Time....., December 19, 2002

By 

Roz Levine - See all my reviews

This review is from: Everything I Know About Monsters : A Collection of Made-up Facts, Educated Guesses, and Silly Pictures about Creatures of Creepiness (Hardcover)

Even though Tom Lichtenheld tells the reader on the first page of this book, in no uncertain terms, that there really are no such things as monsters... "No monsters, ever, nowhere, nohow", he also makes it clear that "monsters DO exist in our imaginations." And since he's considered an expert storyteller with an oversized, vivid imagination, he's done us the honor of writing the quintessential book using made-up facts and best guesses about monsters. From under-the-bed monsters, closet monsters, basement and attic monsters, to man-made monsters, robots, and even aliens, find out what they eat, where they live, what they do, how they think, and even how much light it takes to keep a monster away. Mr Lichtenheld's easy to read and hilarious text is entertaining, and only outdone by his bold, bright, and busy illustrations. Each captivating two page spread is chock full of creative fun facts, engaging jokes, clever cartoons, and funny captions, and youngsters will enjoy poring over every inch of each fun-filled page. Perfect for kids 6-10, Everything I Know About Monsters is a silly, interactive, manic, romp no red-blooded monster lover should be without.

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars shadow monsters, puddle monsters, and robots...oh my!, October 29, 2002

By 

c. sullivan (atlanta, ga United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Everything I Know About Monsters : A Collection of Made-up Facts, Educated Guesses, and Silly Pictures about Creatures of Creepiness (Hardcover)

Grab a pen and write down the name of every child you know and order at least that many copies of Tom's latest book. It's
the kind of book you'll race to read to your child's class. The kind you're thrilled to donate to the school library. The book
you can't wait to give to all your friends...before it wins all the awards.

Tom's illustrations are so detailed and funny you're sure to find something new and gruesome and oooky with every
reading. And his writing is so full of jokes for kids and grown-ups, that you won't mind reading it for the cajillionth
time. I love the charts for making up your own monsters. (You'll find a great one for making up pirate names in Tom's first book..Everything I Know About Pirates) My favorite bit tells why trees cast shadow monsters in your room at night. And the food
pyramid for monsters is a hoot...and frighteningly similar to the one my children follow.

I think the scariest thing about this book is that one person has the talent to write and illustrate a book this wonderful. You'd
almost think some mad scientist made Tom Lichtenheld in a lab with a brain marked "Hal Larious."

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars So good, it's creeeeepy., October 8, 2002

By 

Robert Barrie (Santa Fe, NM) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Everything I Know About Monsters : A Collection of Made-up Facts, Educated Guesses, and Silly Pictures about Creatures of Creepiness (Hardcover)

Great book! It's one of those very rare children's books that is as appealing to adults as it is to kids, but often on very different levels. This tongue-in-cheek tribute covers the spectrum from "man-made monsters" to "TV monsters" to "space aliens" and beyond. The hilarious asides in the margins alone are worth the price of admission (don't miss "How many cave monsters are in the cave?"). And the "Official Mad Scientist Monster Maker" will have your kids writing their very own monster chronicles.

As a bonus, if your child is the least bit afraid of "monsters" of any kind, this light-hearted book will help alleviate their anxietiy.

I think this work actually surpasses Mr. Lichtenheld's wonderful predecessor "Everything I know about Pirates", but then I've always been a huge monster fan. Or is that monstrous monster fan?