Ex-Etiquette for Parents: Good Behavior After a Divorce or Separation [Paperback]

Jann Blackstone-Ford (Author), Sharyl Jupe (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 28, 2004

Written for both biological parents and stepparents, this helpful guide provides the tools necessary to raising well-adjusted children after a stressful divorce. Innovative in its technique and cowritten by a certified divorce and stepfamily expert and her own stepchildren's mother, this etiquette book provides an authentic guide for ex-spouses to interact on a civil and healthy level. Sample conversation for everyday scenarios help exes create a positive environment and ensure the mental and physical well-being of the children. Whether it's coordinating discipline between households, introducing a new partner, dealing with late child support payments, or providing a regular schedule for children, this guide empowers parents to change what they can—their attitudes and communication skills. In doing so, divorced parents can increase their self-esteem and personal growth and emerge confident that they can handle awkward situations and powerful emotions while keeping the children's best interests a priority.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Blackstone-Ford is a divorce and stepfamily mediator who married Jupe’s first husband. Together, they’ve written a thoughtful, well-informed guide to practicing good behavior after a divorce or separation. Their combined experiences as wife and ex-wife, along with Blackstone-Ford’s professional expertise, allow them to expound on a number of situations. Indeed, it seems they cover all the bases: introducing a new romantic interest to your ex, interacting with a "counterpartner" (i.e., the ex or new partner) when there’s been an affair, handling attraction among stepsiblings, dealing with an absentee parent who resurfaces and more. Relations between spouses and exes can often be fraught with complications, and confused or frustrated readers will find much of value here. The authors keep their emphasis on the positive (e.g., calling a stepfamily a "bonusfamily"), but are never unrealistic about the challenges divorced parents face. They even include a chapter on "managing the formalities," offering suggestions for correspondence, weddings, showers and holidays.
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Review

"Highly recommended." -- Library Journal

"Packed with wisdom, original insights, and essential tools...If you love your children...read this book and follow its advice." -- Dr. Richard A. Warshak, author of Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond From a Vindictive Ex

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 304 pages
• Publisher: Chicago Review Press (October 28, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1556525516
• ISBN-13: 978-1556525513
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 0.8 x 6.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #166,853 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Impressive ! October 15, 2004

By Bette Weinberger

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

I am a clinical social worker, in practice for over thirty five years now. I recently saw Jann Blackstone-Ford and Sharyl Jupe, authors of Ex-Etiquette for Parents: Good Behavior After a Divorce or Separation, interviewed on Good Morning America, and decided to take a look at their book. It's impressive. Most of my practice is devoted to marriage counseling and working with divorced families. I wish I had a copy of this book to hand out to every divorcing couple with children. The book is clear, concise, easily understood. More importantly, it espouses all the values and teaches all the skills I hope my clients walk out of my office with. It will certainly be a "must read" recommendation. It's a long overdue, and very inspiring work!

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Mind-Bending, Inspiring and Packed With Information October 8, 2004

By Lisa Cohn

Format:Paperback

This book, written by a second wife and her husband's ex, is a very comprehensive guide to how parents should behave after a divorce or separation. It covers a broad range of topics, including how to get along with your spouse's ex, how to ease kids' transition from Mom's house to Dad's house, and much more. The authors offer divorced parents tips about how to prepare themselves emotionally to be the best parents they can be. Blackstone-Ford and Jupe suggest parents let go of anger and resentment, embrace forgiveness, identify negative expectations and acknowledge mutual interests-all with a goal of putting their children and stepchildren first.

The authors also promise parents that bad relationships with ex-spouses will change, if only parents are willing to take some emotional risks with their ex-spouses and their ex-spouses' new partners. They offer their own inspiring story as an example.

As a member of a family with "his, hers and ours" kids, I found some of the well-meaning stepparenting tips to be a bit simplistic, but that's a minor criticism, given this book's potential to change the way divorced parents interact with one another. I hope divorced parents everywhere read this book with open minds and hearts, and embrace its message. Their children and stepchildren will likely benefit in a big way.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars If you love your kids, get this book! October 13, 2004

By Divorced Dad

Format:Paperback

My ex and I have been trying to coparent our kids with very little luck. We couldn't talk to each other and the kids definitely felt the stress. My ex knows I never read, but she gave me this book after seeing the authors on Good Morning America. I thumbed through just out of curiosity. I can't believe I'm writing this. IT REALLY HELPED! Both my ex and I saw things we both did to break down communication and learned ways to change things so that the kids wouldn't suffer anymore. It's very easy to understand and is written in a style that kept my interest. I never thought I would be thanking my ex for anything, but I thank her for giving me this book. It made us see what is really important--the kids.