Ex to Grind, An: A Novel [Hardcover]

Jane Heller (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 28, 2005

The battle of the sexes rages on in this smart, witty, and extremely timely comedy from the phenomenally popular Jane Heller

At first, Manhattan financial planner Melanie Banks adores Dan Swain, her pro football player husband who's got a sexy Oklahoma drawl to go with his athletic good looks. But then his career comes to a screeching halt and he spends the next few years out of a job, seemingly unconcerned about it. Suddenly, she's the one bringing home the bacon and falling out of love with the paycheck-devouring, couch-sitting mooch. Divorce is the answer, she decides -- only to learn she has to fork over alimony while he lives like a prince on her income and she has to share custody of their precious dog, Buster. Consumed with the unfairness of it all, she plays dirty, hiring a high-profile matchmaker to find some unsuspecting female she can dump on Dan for ninety days and cause him to violate their cohabitation clause.

But then Melanie's scheme backfires. Her ex's new love revitalizes him, miraculously transforming him into the focused, responsible go-getter she always hoped he'd be. And now, with the ninety-day clock about to chime, she realizes she wants him back.

--This text refers to the Kindle Edition edition.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Nowadays, a woman might bring home more bacon than the lazy pig she married does—an idea Heller (Best Enemies, etc.) runs with in her latest breezy, easy read. Melanie Banks, wedded to her job as a financial planner and freshly divorced from former football star Dan Swain, hates writing him that monthly alimony check, which he spends on Cristal and Gucci moccasins as he languishes in their fancy apartment, while she must settle for dingier digs. Since he's sworn off remarriage and a new career, nursing old injuries to his knee and his pride, Melanie's only out is a bit of legal fine print: if Dan shacks up with a woman for 90 days, he forfeits his right to Melanie's money. Her scheme to find him his ideal woman works all too well: Dan falls for a vixen veterinarian, invites her to move in and shapes up into the man who first stole Melanie's heart. Catastrophically obsessed with the new couple and hell-bent on winning Dan back, Melanie lets her work slide and deflects the advances of her heartthrob neighbor. Readers drawn to Heller's zippy style and culturally astute wit will forgive the ham-fisted plot, which rollicks toward a reassuringly happy ending.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

New Yorker Melanie Banks fears returning to the poverty of her childhood, and consequently has worked hard to become a top financial planner. An injury has ended her husband Dan's football career, and his failure to find a new career induces her to file for divorce, only to find out that she now has to support Dan in the style that she can afford. Her only hope is a clause in the settlement stipulating that if Dan cohabitates with someone for 90 days, her alimony stops. So she enlists the help of a matchmaker to surreptitiously find the perfect woman for her ex. Then the plan works too well. With the help of this new paragon, Dan turns into the man Melanie tried to mold him into, and now she wants him back. Heller explores the changing dynamics between men and women in our society with her usual wit and intelligence, drawing a funny and insightful picture of divorce and beyond when dreams are attained and lost. Patty Engelmann
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 384 pages
• Publisher: William Morrow (June 28, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0060599251
• ISBN-13: 978-0060599256
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.1 x 1.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 2.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,307,612 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

I hope those who've enjoyed my novels of romantic comedy will try my first nonfiction book, "Confessions of a She-Fan," about my passion for the NY Yankees. Yes, it's about baseball, but it's also about marriage (mine) and what it really means to be a fan. If you aren't into baseball, maybe you know someone who is and you'll tell them about it.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Who's kidnapped Jane Heller?, July 30, 2005

By 

A. Lively "self proclaimed girly girl" (usa) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Ex to Grind, An: A Novel (Hardcover)

Melanie Banksis a VP Financial Planner @ Pierce, Shelley and Steinbergin in New York City. Her Ex, Dan Swain is a "has been" football player for the NY Giants. After getting divorced, Melanie has to pay him alimony to keep him accustomed to the lifestyle he had when they were married. He has no job and spends his days (and her money) by going to the gym, drinking expensive champagne, wearing designer clothes and "hanging out".

Melanie hires the well-known matchmaker, Desiree to help her find a love interest for Dan. You see, in the fine print of their divorce papers, it states that if Dan gets married or lives with another woman for 3 months, she no longer has to pay him alimony. Thus, her search for the perfect Love Connection begins.

I have been a huge Jane Heller fan & have read all of her books. An Ex to Grind and Lucky Stars have been VERY different from her earlier novels that were always filled with fun & crazy plots that guaranteed laughs. These last two, anyone could have written them - they did not have that unique quality that I had come to love.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Disapppointing for Ms. Heller, July 16, 2005

By 

Heather L. Cummings (Johnstown, PA USA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Ex to Grind, An: A Novel (Hardcover)

Jane Heller is by far my favorite author and I've read everything she's written. I have been waiting for about 7 months for this book to come out just to get my next dose of Jane Heller, but I was a little disappointed by it. It is your typical humorous, happy ending sort of book (which is why I love them so much), but Melanie, the main character, isn't very likeable. While she seems career-driven and successful, I don't believe she was realistic.
No doubt that I will await the next Heller book and I do not regret spending the time reading 'An Ex to Grind,' but it seemed a little under par for her normal work.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars An axe to grind over this disappointing novel, September 11, 2005

By 

E. Soublet (Portland, OR) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Ex to Grind, An: A Novel (Hardcover)

I've never read any of Ms. Heller's novels. The closest I have come was starting "Princess Charming" and then stopping it after three chapters because it did nothing to make me want to finish.

I gave this novel a chance after a favorable review in the local paper. I stuck with it, hoping that it would get better. It did not. The protagonist is so annoying I found myself rooting against her at every turn, hoping she would wind up alone so she could continue to be miserable. If ever there was a character who deserved to be miserable, she's the one.

Save yourself the time/aggravation and leave this novel on the shelves.