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Ex-Wives and Ex-Lives: Survival Guide for the Next Wife Paperback – August 15, 2004

ISBN-13: 978-0975296400 ISBN-10: 097529640X

12 New from $21.45 34 Used from $2.11 2 Collectible from $29.20
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Ex-Wives and Ex-Lives: Survival Guide for the Next Wife + The Single Girl's Guide to Marrying a Man, His Kids, and His Ex-Wife: Becoming A Stepmother With Humor And Grace + Stepcoupling: Creating and Sustaining a Strong Marriage in Today's Blended Family
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 128 pages
  • Publisher: Aptly Spoken Enterprises (August 15, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 097529640X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0975296400
  • Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #916,977 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Paula J. Egner is the former stepparenting editor for BellaOnline.com, the former lay speaker for United Methodist Churches in west Tennessee, and the author of If There Be None and The Miracle of Remarriage. She lives in Hixson, Tennessee.

Customer Reviews

3.4 out of 5 stars

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

44 of 46 people found the following review helpful By Phoenix on August 27, 2008
I was never married but my husband was twice-divorced with two kids when we met. His first wife with whom he did not have any kids was a mature and decent woman. His second was a nightmare. Their marriage was doomed from the beginning because of the disparity in temperament and intellect. My husband was single for six years when we got married.

Well, I lived in hell for the first two years of my marriage. I was all confused, miserable, and was at a loss as to how to deal with the situation before I read this book. Knowing that there are others facing the same situation and that I was not responsible for my husband's ex and his kids' behavior made me feel stronger. I now put my boundaries firmly for my husband, his over-spoiled kids, and his wicked ex-wife. Things are under control and we live in relative peace now. My advice to women contemplating marriage to men with kids is that BEFORE MARRIAGE make sure that:
1. he puts his priorities right (his life partner should be his first priority)
2. he is supportive of you
3. he has a healthy relationship with his kids which involves love, respect, structure and discipline
4. he is firm with his ex
5. he and you see eye to eye with each other's expectations of marriage
Never, ever marry an over-indulgent father with a bitter ex-wife in the background, unless you are seeking martyrdom, not happiness and companionship. If he cannot keep his baggage from his previous relationships under control, the marriage is not worth saving. Get out while you can and learn from the experience. Remember, only "he" can keep his house in order, not you. And contrary to what some people believe, it's the ex-wives who have to bend over backwards to get along with new wives so that these new wives will treat their step-kids right.
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25 of 26 people found the following review helpful By S. Vane on June 30, 2006
Verified Purchase
I had really been struggling w/ my boyfriends ex wife and his ex life. When I seen this book I knew I had to get it and I am glad I did. So many things in the book were exactly what I had been going through. This book not only helps you learn how to cope and deal w/ your significant other's past but it also helps validate your feelings. I got a peace of mind from this book realizing that it was not just me. That the things I have been experiencing are normal and to be expected. I also let my boyfriend read it so that he could see and understand for himself what I go through. The book is well written and blunt, the author does not sugar coat the issues, which I like. The book will help you realize that it does not matter that there was one (or however many) before you, all that matters are you are here now. The book said something that I had never really thought about before and that is the fact that although I may never be the first wife I can be the last and that is all that matters. I would encourage anyone who is having to deal w/ an ex wife and an ex life to read this book.
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18 of 21 people found the following review helpful By Hope Anne Nathan on March 3, 2010
I just finished reading Ex-Wives and Ex-Lives: Survival Guide for the Next Wife. Wow, what a turkey. Where do I even begin?

How about with grammar and usage. This book could have really benefited from an editor, and preferably one who wasn't absent the day they explained where the commas go. It's like she just randomly threw them in anywhere. It makes reading an already tedious book even more so.

Second, there's the religion. Nothing about this book's title or description led me to believe that it would be full of religion, but I assure you, it is. If, like me, you were not raised in a Christian household, you may find it very off-putting. I was looking for a book to help with dealing with my partner's ex, not a lesson in Jesus, Matthew, or Job.

And speaking of help dealing with an ex, that's what this book is supposed to be about, right? Sadly, there's not much help to be found here. The author gave *some* scenarios which were situations I'd not thought to anticipate, but then offered precious little in the way of advice for dealing with them. The advice she did give can more or less be summed up in two words: Be perfect. Don't grumble or grouse, don't be caught even *whispering* a negative thought ... just sit quietly with a smile on your face and everything will work out.

Great. Thanks. I'll get right on that.

One final word. I have no idea why this bothered me so much, but it did: The expression is "TUNE in," not "TONE in." For the love of Mike, woman: FIND YOURSELF AN EDITOR!
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14 of 16 people found the following review helpful By Cate on June 29, 2011
Verified Purchase
I am a second wife and a step mother who continually seeks out books on how to navigate the dark waters of this challenging life choice. What I was searching for was a book that validated how I was feeling and gave me tips / recommendations on how to proceed. Well --

The book's message can be summed up as follows: "Being a second wife and a step mom sucks, and the reality is, your life sucks now, will continue to suck, and you're completely screwed. You're a 'second' wife because in life from this point forward, you will always be second."

I threw the book away and told my step mom's group to not even bother because trash belongs in the trash.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By James T on April 9, 2006
A friend recommended this book to me, even though I'm not the next wife ... but I am the next husband! I was amazed at how it applied to my situation. It's obvious that the author understands how it feels not to be the "first love" of your partner. The scenarios are truthful, blunt, and emotional. But it's written with a sense of humor, which makes these tough situations easier to read and digest. I would highly recommend this book for other next husbands!
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