25 of 25 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Powerful yet beautiful, September 12, 2008
This is one of the most powerful books I've read in quite some time. It is easily read in a day. Once you start, you won't want to put it down. There is a huge amount of emotional vulnerability and honesty in this short memoir, which makes for an extraordinarily engaging read.
From the beginning, the reader knows about the tragic and heartbreaking ending of McCracken's first pregnancy. We know what happened, but we're not quite sure about the details leading up to the point where she received the news that her unborn baby had died. McCracken makes you feel that you need to know. You need to understand exactly what happened. But she takes her time, giving you the background first.
McCracken goes back and forth between past and present. How she met her husband (who is surely an angel, by the way), how they lived in various countries on various continents, how they ended up living in France at the time of her pregnancy. She is all over the place in terms of the timeline of events, which might be distracting, EXCEPT for the fact that all the jumping around somehow seemed appropriate given the subject matter of this book. Because this book is about grief, and let's face it: grief is messy.
One of the aspects of this book that stands out the most in my mind is the author's feelings about the reactions of her friends and family. What expressions of sympathy gave her strength and courage, and what left her cold? This memoir was written a little over a year after her first baby died in utero, and shortly after the birth of her second child. McCracken is painfully honest about who responded how. She addresses the few people who reacted in an unforgivable way, but more importantly, she recounts the loving expressions of sympathy from friend after friend that sustained her. I think there is something to learn here, about what we need most from our friends and relatives when we are grieving.
It might seem like this is a depressing book, but it's not. I think McCracken wrote this memoir to memorialize both her first child and her own experience. I don't think she wants closure. She makes it very clear in the book that she wants to remember her first child always and every day. The book is a tribute, and a beautiful one at that.
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24 of 25 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Honest, Heartfelt Story about Loss and Love, September 21, 2008
As the mother of four children, two of whom died hours after they were born, I just knew I had to read Elizabeth McCracken's story after reading a magazine review. The story is honest and straight from the heart. Reading her journey of Pudding's life during her pregnancy and subsequent death, I took comfort from her words, knowing that there's no right or wrong way to handle yourself & your grief after the loss of a child. As she asked herself "What if..." I found myself remembering those exact same questions, knowing deep down that there really was nothing that could have changed the sad outcome. I respect and admire the strength and courage it took for her to share her story and am grateful for being given the chance to relive my children's short lives and subsequent deaths with sadness and a hint of joy. They are, after all, a part of our family and Pudding will always be Elizabeth's "first born." As she questioned herself that first Mother's Day, I nodded my head and said aloud "Yes -- you are a Mother and deserve to celebrate this day with Mothers everywhere."
The story is beautifully written with words the flow gently, accurately describing the pain and sorrow and hope she & her husband felt that entire year after Pudding's death. I felt as if I knew Elizabeth personally and shared in her happiness after the birth of Gus. I am certain he will come to know his big brother "Pudding" and will be grateful for the role he played in bringing Gus into this world.
Thank you for sharing your story Elizabeth. You are an inspiration to mother's everywhere, especially those of us who have gone through similar situations and for those who may not have the courage to share their story.
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33 of 36 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
devastatingly beautiful, August 28, 2008
I read an excerpt of this memoir in Oprah magazine - the author is a favorite of mine, but I was unaware of this part of her personal story. I immediately pre-purchased the book on Amazon. Today it arrived and I found myself opening it and standing in the kitchen reading it while listening to two beautiful boys in the next room playing with each other. I read half the book just standing there - alternately smiling and tearing up...and just knowing, knowing what she was writing about. I feel apologetic (emotionally, not logically) for relating so well when my first pregnancy was (just) a miscarriage, and not a stillbirth - I can only imagine they must feel different as experiences, but in my heart they don't. Elizabeth McCracken has written such a moving, beautiful memoir. It's not so much a tribute to her son, but just a concrete picture of his realness and the realness of everything that was before and after. I'm so glad she wrote this book.
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