Customer Reviews

The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective

5 star:		(74)
4 star:		(10)
3 star:		(7)
2 star:		(7)
1 star:		(26)

 

 

Martha Peace really knows how to tell it like it is! She gives you a good dose of tough love that is fully backed by scripture and never appears argumentative. She shares her testimony with us right up front, so we understand where she was in her walk and why she felt inspired to write this book.

The book starts off by covering foundational truths about God, sin and marriage, then focuses on the wife's responsibilities (1) to Christ, (2) in her home, and (3) to her husband. The core of the book is on the "s" word (submission), and I appreciated the way Peace handled the topic. She also includes a great section that helps a wife overcome any communication or conflict-solving challenges she may have. She even talks about dealing with fear, loneliness and anger (a big one for me!).

All in all this was a really great read. I learned quite a bit and I still refer to it often. I must say that this book has really helped my marriage blossom, and it has given me a direction for my own life that I didn't have before.

I would highly recommend this book to anyone looking into this subject. It was good reading and you didn't feel as if someone was "preaching" at you.

Cris

Like many women my age, I grew up in a broken home, with mother in charge and never learned how to be a wife. When I married I brought in my life experience coupled with the poision that the modern media and culture works so hard to indoctrinate girls with.

Finally after a few shaky years, I found this magnificent book!

I began implementing the principles and have never regretted it for one moment! Not only has my marriage and family been strengthened, but my relationship with my Lord has as well.

Ladies, buy this book - you will not regret it!

Both my wife and I have read this book together and will soon be reading the Exemplary Husband. These two books combine to provide a biblical view of marriage. What it does not do is take women back 300 years! What it does not do is teach women to be doormats or to simply sit quietly by while their husbands physically or mentall abuse them! It does not teach wives to be second class citizens to their husbands! Anyone that states any of these conclusions from the book did not read it closely or with an open mind.

What the book does do is explain to wives (and husbands if they take the time to read it!) is that there is a biblical structure for households in which the husband is the spiritual leader and the wife is to submit to her husband's lead. It does express a view that there is a hierarchy outlined in the bible for a household. The book very clearly states that husbands and wives have equal worth in God's eyes. However, like any institution, marriage runs better when there is one leader - in the bible's view this one leader should be the husband.

My wife and I have had a strong marriage that without realizing it followed fairly closely to the traditional role of husbands and wives. However, this book opened our eyes to ways in which we can improve our relationship. My wife is not a doormat. She has her opinions and I love her and respect those opinions. However, this book combined with our friendship, love, and respect have improved our marriage.

Read it with an open mind and you will come away with a renewed marriage.

As a former feminist, I am now preparing to marry. I purchased this book. First, I was amazed at the similarity between the secular Dominance and Submission relationships I've seen and this Biblical approach.

I think the message Martha is sending is a very conservative one - not leaving much room for personality.

I do however think there are many wonderful things to glean from this book. There is nothing wrong with being submissive! Now - if some of these were to read a book like this to MEN about how to be excellent leaders of their home, maybe some of these reviewers wouldn't be quite so hostile. How many people in today's world actually get to experience a loving, thoughtful, caring, and affectionate man who is a leader in his home? It's no wonder there is so much rebellion here! It is a joy to be submissive when I am loved, cherished and cared for. It really is a two way street. This is a complicated subject - but what can it hurt? If you don't agree with it - then bring it to the library.

My advice? Take what you need and leave the rest - you might need it later.

I held on up to pg. 175 after that, my husband showed me where and how she was incorrect and how much Martha mis-quoted the Holy Bible to fit how she wanted it to read. I have MANY reasons why I can't in good Christian faith recommend this book to any ladies out there. I will share a few w/ you & you can decide for yourself.

* All through out the book is sprinkled mis-quoted Bible verses taken completely out of context. Martha takes numerous verses (2-4) from the Word of God and entangles them to make one sentence. (ex: pg 162) She also will use only 2 or 3 words from an entire verse to prove her point. Come on ladies, anyone can twist the Word of God to say anything if we did that.

* I do work in the home, however On pg. 72, Martha claims that in Proverbs 31:11-31, "nine [verses] refer directly to her work in the home.." Upon your own reading of that passage, you will see that is incorrect. It is little things like this example that are, honestly, just lies about the Holy Bible. I don't see why she felt the need to lie about Scripture to back up her book.

* On pg. 78 Martha specifically states that among our husbands and family we should "Put your friends first even if it's time for your period." Through out the rest of the book she continues on stating that if an extra rest time or nap time is needed for our periods, we need to "plan it in your day and cheerfully explain" our naps and rest times are due to our periods. SERIOUSLY? How inappropriate in a house of young boys and to guests from church! That is plain rude to "explain" to your children and pastor! If that isn't enough, she goes on to say how a nap or rest in the day can be lazy and selfish.

* Martha makes up verses & gives no references to back up her opinions. Declaring the Bible says it is a "Sin" not to go to church and have anal sex. She tells her opinion on certain topics as Holy facts from the Bible. She declares the Bible teaches certain topics on sex between husband and wife, however Scripture gives no reference to it. (no surprise as it is her opinion only)(ex: on pg 127 Martha says it is "sinful" to participate in anal sex in your marriage. I personally don't anyway, however, there is nothing that Scripture specifically forbids a husband and wife to do with each other as long as it is by mutual consent. Besides "swapping" and pornography)

* Martha tells readers that it is Biblical for a wife to engage in sex with their husbands even at inopportune times for the wife. "Periods or stress are no reason to deny your husband" Weather the wife wants to or not. Martha even suggests that a wife "rearrange her schedule" to have sex in the middle of the day or any other time the husband may want it on demand. In 1 Corinthians 7:5 in my Bible when ever or whatever is done, it should be "MUTUALLY agreed upon". When a wife doesn't have sex with her husband when ever he wants it, Martha tells readers that we are "defrauding" our husbands.

* pg 172 If your husband doesn't do what YOU THINK is the correct thing, Martha encourages wives to make "the entire congregation put pressure on him" to make him do what the wife thinks is correct. Maybe God may have a different plan in mind for this husband, but she is having wives tell the church to "pressure him"

*Finally, on page 173, Martha tells the reader that "If a wife obeys God, and her husband becomes physically violent with her, THEN she will be suffering for 'righteousness sake' (1 Peter 2:21-23)"

After all of these reasons and many others that I just don't have the space for, you can read for yourself this isn't a good book. My hubby and I couldn't help but laugh at so many commands that Martha gives to wives.

I highly recommend this book! It is a great resource for new and old Christians alike. The object is NOT to teach the wife how to make the marriage perfect all by herself (as one of the other reviews implied). This book's goal is to show you Biblcal tools that you can use to begin letting God change and mold your character to be more like Christ's. It is every Christian's responsibility to cultivate a deeper and more intimate relationship with God, and to become more like Jesus. That is our first ministry. For the Christian wife, her second ministry is to her husband. This book shows you scriptural principles that teach you how to become more like Christ THROUGH proper responses to your husband. Your ministry to your husband is the vehicle which God is going to use to change you. As you apply these principles, you will become a more godly wife and your marriage will become more fulfilling, because YOUR focus and expectations will be changed. But more importantly, you will be drawing closer to God and developing a more intimate relationship with Him, which is the most fulfilling of all! This book is written well and is easy to understand. I would recommend it even for those who are single, because the principles are very universal, and can easily be transferred to any other conflicts or situations in your life (relationships to your boss, siblings, parents, etc.) In fact I have been using it to teach these principles to my 8-year-old daughter, and she is responding very well. You want to buy this book.

It's the strangest thing. You will probably notice from the reviews that readers find themselves in two distinct camps: one group finds it refreshing, challenging, liberating, and practical; the other finds it narrow-minded, constraining, demeaning, and taking Scripture out of context. I am in the 2nd camp, but I am in the minority of my small group reading it, and the other women seem to love it. I feel like we're reading two different books! My advice: Take what truth you can find out of her suggestions, but based on the rest of what is written in the Bible, I do not believe that what she outlines is a Biblical model for how we are to act as wives. Read carefully, go back through the entire passages of Scripture where just she references the snippets. Do NOT simply swallow what she has to say as pure truth.

I really struggled with this book because I didn't like it, and I wanted to make sure I wasn't just ignoring what I didn't want to hear. After some prayer, research, and a meeting with my pastor, I decided my first instinct was correct. Some of it is Biblical and helpful, and I certainly would not support an OPPOSITE view of this book, but there is enough wrong with it that I would not recommend it to anyone else. Martha makes a few good points, but I feel that her perspective is way off and so is her interpretation of Scripture. She seems to take a lot of verses out of context to support some kind of radical fundamentalist view. My pastor recommended a different book called "What Paul Really Said About Women," by John Temple Bristow. I haven't finished it yet, but on first glance it seems to be more Biblical.

I was recently married, and an in-law gave me "The Excellent Wife" as a present. I would have prefered a dish towel.

My husband and I didn't know whether to laugh or cry as we read this book. "The Excellent Wife" is probably the most disturbing book written by a "Christian" that I have ever read. Martha Peace actually advocates that battered wives stay with their husbands who hurt them. She says that the correct thing to think when your husband hurts you is this: "My husband may hurt me again. I hope not, but if he does, I will just have to let him and glorify the Lord." What kind of advice is that? Women who are getting hurt by their husbands need to get out of the marriage!

I was so disgusted by this patriarchal and mysogynistic book that I am going to throw it out! I was considering selling it on Ebay, and making $2 off it, but I don't want to be responsible for a battered woman reading this filth and deciding to stay with her abusive husband!

I had a bad feeling about this book when I started reading it. The one star I rated it is for Mrs. Peace's testimony that seems honest and transparent and for the valid biblical principles she did present.

I do agree with her that a wife should seek God with all her heart among other biblical principles (how to bring a biblical reproof, how to communicate biblically, etc), but she inserted her opinion and used snippets of scripture to back them up too often in this book.

Please see the rest of the 2 and 1 star reviews. A lot of them said it all. I did not feel that the exegesis of scripture was thorough, taking into account cultural and linguistic implications of the passages she used - mostly Psalm 31, Titus 2, and others. Also, as mentioned before, she often chose just parts of scripture to support her ideas. I pray that anyone else who reads this book looks up the scripture themselves and checks what this author is writing.