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Exceptions to Reality: Stories [Mass Market Paperback]

Alan Dean Foster (Author)
4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)

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Book Description

July 29, 2008
As is evident in his many thrilling novels, Alan Dean Foster is a master at creating other worlds in an array of genres. Now he turns his imagination to the short story in these spectacular tales of outer space, cyberspace, ancient gods, modern demons, and mortal horror, including

Panhandler A predatory lawyer encounters a fabled boyhood hero and falls victim to the less innocent intrigues of eternal youth.

Growth Not even his minidrag Pip can save Flinx from the overly intimate advances of an intruder who goes entirely too far.

Basted A lowly, hen-pecked Egyptian discovers that the Pharaoh’s tomb holds exactly what he needs for a whole new life.

The Killing of Bad Bull A man with a knack for getting gambling’s one-armed bandits to give it up finds himself at the top–of several hit lists.

At Sea A poor Scandinavian captain forced into running drugs is shown a way out of his desperate straits with the help of five beautiful blondes who are simply out-of-this-world.

Open Exceptions to Reality to find these amazing stories and nine other irresistibly unearthly tales!

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Alan Dean Foster has written in a variety of genres, including hard science fiction, fantasy, horror, detective, western, historical, and contemporary fiction. He is the author of the New York Times bestseller Star Wars: The Approaching Storm and the popular Pip & Flinx novels, as well as novelizations of several films including Star Wars, Transformers, the first three Alien films, and Alien Nation. His novel Cyber Way won the Southwest Book Award for Fiction in 1990, the first science fiction work ever to do so. Foster and his wife, JoAnn Oxley, live in Prescott, Arizona, in a house built of brick that was salvaged from an early-twentieth-century miners’ brothel. He is currently at work on several new novels and media projects.

www.alandeanfoster.com

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

The Muffin Migration

Deep-space explorers struggling to survive on a new world. Bizarre alien life-forms, sometimes friendly, oftentimes not. Issues of survival, interpersonal conflict, malfunctioning equipment, the impossibility of rescue in the event of harrowing circumstances--all these are tropes of the adventure science-fiction story that existed even before the arrival of Amazing Stories in 1926. That they are old, even hoary, does not automatically render any of them invalid or useless as plot points in the telling of a tale. Or as John W. Campbell, editor of Astounding/ Analog, used to prefer to say when he found a good old-fashioned story that he liked, "I think you've got a pretty good yarn here."

A good story is a good story. I see the proof of it in the faces of very young readers whenever the occasion arises for me to read to them. They respond to the same elements as their ancestors have down through the millennia. Danger, new discoveries, the need to cooperate in order to survive--these are fundamentals of adventure storytelling that have existed since Ur-storyteller Norg first enthralled listeners around the cave fire with tales of what really lay behind those mysterious lights that appeared in the sky every night.

Today we look up at those very same stars with a good deal more understanding of their true nature. But our science is not yet all-encompassing, our knowledge far from absolute. Those stars still hold many mysteries, and where there is mystery there is always room for adventure. We know now for a certainty that around those stars orbit other worlds. Perhaps some that are much like our own. On those planets we can yet hope to experience the adventures that Norg and his fellow myth-spinners first began to envision.

We might even imagine that one of those still-unknown alien worlds could be home to creatures as strange as muffins . . .

It was a beautiful day on Hedris. But then, Bowman reflected as he stood on the little covered porch he and LeCleur had fashioned from scraps of shipping materials, every day for the past four months had been beautiful. Not overwhelming like the spectacular mornings on Barabas, or stunningly evocative like the sunsets on New Riviera; just tranquil, temperate, and bursting with the crisp fresh tang of unpolluted air, green growing grasses, and a recognition of the presence of unfettered, unfenced life-force.

In addition to the all-pervasive, piquant musk of millions of muffins, of course.

The muffins, as the two planetary advance agents had come to call them, were by incalculable orders of magnitude the dominant life-form on Hedris. They swarmed in inconceivable numbers over its endless grassy plains, burrowed deep into its unbelievably rich topsoil, turned streams and rivers brown with their bathing, frolicking bodies. Fortunately for Bowman and LeCleur, the largest of them stood no more than fifteen centimeters high, not counting the few thicker, lighter-hued bristles that protruded upward and beyond the otherwise dense covering of soft brown fur. A muffin had two eyes, two legs, a short fuzzy blob of a tail, and an oval mouth filled with several eruptions of tooth-like bone designed to make short work of the diverse variety of half-meter-high grass in which they lived. They communicated, fought, and cooed to one another via appealing sequences of chirruping, high-pitched peeping sounds.

It was a good thing, Bowman reflected as he inhaled deeply of the fresh air that swept over the benign plains of Hedris, that the local grasses were as fecund as the muffins, or the planet would have been stripped bare of anything edible millions of years ago. Even though a patient observer could actually watch the grass grow, it remained a constant source of amazement to him and his partner that the local vegetation managed to keep well ahead of the perpetually foraging muffins.
The uncountable little balls of brown-and-beige fur were not the only native browsers, of course. On a world as fertile as Hedris, there were always ecological niches to fill. But for every kodout, pangalta, and slow-moving, thousand-toothed jerabid, there were a thousand muffins. No, he corrected himself. Ten thousand, maybe more. Between the higher grass and the deeper burrows it was impossible to get an accurate account, even with surveys conducted with the aid of mini-satellites.

Such qualified stats filled the reports he and LeCleur filed. They had another five months in which to refine and perfect their figures, hone their observations, and codify their opinions. The House of Novy Churapcha, the industrial-commercial concern that had set them up on Hedris, was anxious to put together a bid and stake its claim in front of the Commonwealth concession courts before any of the other great trading Houses or public companies got wind of the new discovery. By keeping their outpost on Hedris tiny, isolated, and devoid of contact for almost a year, the managers hoped to avoid the unwanted attention of nosy competitors.

So far the strategy seemed to have worked. In the seven months since the fabrication crew, working around the clock, had erected the outpost, not even a stray communication had come the way of the two agents. That was fine with Bowman. He didn't mind the isolation. He and LeCleur were trained to deal with it. And they were very well compensated for maintaining their lack of offworld contact.

A few clouds were gathering. There might be an afternoon rain shower, he decided. If it materialized, it would be gentle, of course, like everything else on Hedris. No dangerous lightning, and just enough distant thunder to be atmospheric. Then the sun would come out, attended by the inevitable rainbow.

The smoky-sweet smell of muffin on the grill reached him from inside, and he turned away from the brightening panorama. It was LeCleur's week to do the cooking, and his partner had long since mastered multiple ways of preparing the eminently edible little indigenes. Not only were the multitudinous muffins harmless, cute beyond words, and easy to catch, but their seared meat was tender and highly palatable, with a sugary, almost honeyed flavor to the whitish flesh that was nothing at all like chicken. Tastewise, it easily surpassed anything in their store of prepackaged concentrates and dehydrates. There wasn't a lot of meat on a muffin, but then, neither was there a shortage of the hopping, preoccupied, forever foraging two-legged creatures.

The slim, diminutive humanoid natives who were the dominant species on Hedris virtually lived on them, and lived well. Only their metabolism kept them thin, Bowman reflected as he closed the front door of the station behind him. Overawed by the far more massive humans, the native Akoe were occasional visitors to the outpost. They were invariably polite, courteous, and quietly eager to learn all they could about their extraordinary visitors. Their language was a simple one. With the aid of electronic teaching devices, both experienced field agents had soon mastered enough of it to carry on a rudimentary conversation. The Akoe were always welcome at the outpost, though sometimes their quiet staring got on Bowman's nerves. An amused LeCleur never missed an opportunity to chide him about it.

"How's it look outside?" LeCleur was almost as tall as Bowman, but not nearly as broad or muscular. "Let me guess: clear and warm, with a chance of a sprinkle later in the day."

"What are you, psychic?" Grinning, Bowman sat down opposite his friend and partner. The platter of grilled muffin, neatly sliced, sizzled atop a warmer in the center. It was ringed by reconstituted bread, butter, jams, scrambled rehydrated eggs from three different kinds of fowl, and two tall self-chilling pitchers flamboyant with juice. Coffee and tea arrived in the form of the self-propelled carafes that approached the men whenever they verbally expressed their individual thirst.

"Thought we might run a predator census between rivers Six EW and Eight NS today." Having finished his meal, LeCleur was adding sweetener to his hot mug of high-grown tea.

Bowman was amenable to the suggestion. "Maybe we'll see another volute." They'd only encountered one of the pig-sized, loop-tailed carnivores so far, and that from a distance.

The agent was smearing rehydrated blackberry jam on his toast when the perimeter alarm went off. Neither man was alarmed.

"I'll get it." A resigned LeCleur rose from his seat. "My turn."

While Bowman finished the last of his breakfast, LeCleur activated the free-ranging heads-up. A cylindrical image appeared in the middle of the room, a perfect floating replica in miniature of a 360-degree view outside and around the outpost. A spoken command from LeCleur caused the image to enlarge and focus on the source of the alarm. This was followed by an order to shut down the soft but insistent whine.

The agent chuckled into the ensuing silence as he recognized the slender standing figure that had set off the alert. A combination of experience and study allowed him to instantly recognize the expression on the alien's face: slight bewilderment. "It's only Old Malakotee."

Wiping his mouth, Bowman rose. "Let him in and we'll see what he wants." It was always interesting and instructive to observe the elderly native's reaction to the many miracles the outpost contained. Also fun. He and LeCleur had few enough diversions.

Precisely enunciated directives caused the circumferential viewer to be replaced by a floating command board. In seconds LeCleur had shut down the station's external defenses, rotated the bridge to cross the deep artificial ravine that encircled the outpost, and opened the front door. By the time Bowman was finishing up the dishes, the Akoe elder had arrived at the entrance.

Old Malakotee was a venerable leader among his people, wizened and much respected. The Akoe were led not by one chief but by an assembly of elected seniors...

Product Details

  • Mass Market Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Del Rey (July 29, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0345496043
  • ISBN-13: 978-0345496041
  • Product Dimensions: 4.1 x 0.7 x 6.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #419,494 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

 

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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Strange Associations, October 22, 2009
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This review is from: Exceptions to Reality: Stories (Mass Market Paperback)
Exceptions to Reality (2008) is a collection of speculative fiction short stories. It contains fourteen stories -- each with an author's preface -- and an introduction.

Introduction laments the lack of magazine markets. Yet SF and fantasy have more magazine outlets than most other genres. There are also a multitude of anthologies.

The Muffin Migration (Star Colonies, 1999) is about the arrogance of human explorers on an alien planet.

Chauna (Far Frontiers, 2000) tells of a search for true beauty,

At Sea (Warriors Fantastic, 2000) introduces a drugrunner to an old mythos.

The Killing of Bad Bull (The Mutant Files, 2001) concerns an attempt to destroy a new talent.

Rate of Exchange (AOL Online, 2001) considers the reactions of a currency trader to unusual messages on his computer screens.

Wait-a-While (Realms of Fantasy, 2001) examines the plight of an author searching for inspiration.

The Short, Labored Breath of Time (Darkling Plain, 2001) divulges the love life of a man who dies every evening.

A Fatal Exception Has Occurred at... (Children of Cthulhu, 2002) discloses the fate of a terrorist threatening to post the Necronomicon on the internet.

Basted (Pharaoh Fantastic, 2002) involves an Egyptian tour guide assistant and an immortal pharaoh.

Serenade (Masters of Fantasy, 2002) recounts the adventures of Jon-Tom, Mudge and a grizzly named Stromgg seeking to sing a song to a lady.

Redundancy (Space Stations, 2004) describes the actions of an independent Module Lifesystems Monitor in an emergency.

Panhandler (Little Red Riding Hood in the Big Bas City, 2004) exposes the perils of hiring the services of Peter Pan.

The Last Akialoa (F&SF, 2005) depicts the quest of an ornithologist for an extinct bird inside a crater on the Hawaiian island of Kauai.

Growth (first publication) presents a conversation between a Midworld plant and the AI controlling Flinx's starship.

These stories were written for many venues, but some were not published in the original magazines. Most appeared in anthologies. Maybe that stimulated the Introduction. Read and enjoy!

Highly recommended to Foster fans and to anyone else who enjoys tales of strange environments, weird lifeforms, and fanciful twists.

-Arthur W. Jordin
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Short Stories, October 10, 2010
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This review is from: Exceptions to Reality: Stories (Mass Market Paperback)
I love a good short tale. And, Foster is great at telling one. I remember as a kid loving Alan Dean Foster books. I read and re-read Splinter in a Mind's Eye and thought it was fantastic. His novelization of The Thing is creepy, atmospheric and one of my favorites. As a matter of fact, it's way better than the movie. Anyway, I kind of forgot about him and noticed this book in a book store recently and I said to myself-why not? I'm glad I got it. Foster has a great ability to tell a short story. His stories have a Twilight Zone feel to them and keep you interested throughout.Muffin Migration is great and has a killer ending. I liked Serenade which is a Spellsinger story-lot's of fun. Wait-a-While is an interesting adventure in the Outback. My favorite is the creepy, atmospheric "The Last Akialo". I lked this book so much, I bought his other short story book-Impossible Places and it is great also!
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3 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Short stories Many different subjects, March 13, 2009
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C. Brown (Sacramento CA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Exceptions to Reality: Stories (Mass Market Paperback)
Because of the short story nature of the book Foster did not take as much time to develop the characters and background for each story. While the stories were good they were not as much fun to read as a full novel.
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Inside This Book (learn more)
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
dead muffins
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Jon Tom, Gibeon Bastrop, The Short Labored Breath of Time, Parker Piggott, Fatal Exception Has Occurred, The Last Akialoa, Old Malakotee, The Killing of Bad Bull, Red Larson, Rate of Exchange, Old Man, Joel Farrell, Land Cruiser, Namur Castle, Mary Anne, United States, Mount Waialeale, Gramma Marie
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