"Excuse Me, But I Was Next...": How to Handle the Top 100 Manners Dilemmas (Hardcover)

by Peggy Post (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Review
"In this easy-to-read guide, every reader will discover a means of getting out of at least one jam." (Library Journal )

Product Description

Have you ever been annoyed by cell phone yakkers, line cutters, or movie chatterers? Been confused about who pays at a restaurant? Received a gift you hated? Fumed over how to respond to a nosy question? America's etiquette expert Peggy Post comes to the rescue in this concise, readable handbook devoted to the top 100 etiquette issues everyone wonders about. You'll learn how to politely say "no" to difficult requests, how to introduce someone if you've forgotten his or her name, how to perform damage control for e-mail bloopers, and countless other strategies for handling life's awkward moments.

Additional highlights include:

Ten Conversational Blunders . . . Five Introduction Goofs . . . Top Dinner-Table Manners Goofs . . . Tipping Guidelines . . . A Family Gathering Survival Guide . . . How to Spot a Dud on the First Date . . . Playdate Etiquette . . . How to Be a Welcome Houseguest . . . How to Simplify Gift Giving . . . Dispelling Wedding Myths . . . and much more.

In "Excuse Me, But I Was Next . . . ," Peggy Post distills the essence of etiquette for today's world into the perfect portable book.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 304 pages
• Publisher: William Morrow (October 3, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0060889160
• ISBN-13: 978-0060889166
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.7 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #359,468 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

26 of 28 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A guide to handling both traditional and modern manners dilemmas, October 3, 2006

By	Beth Cholette "doctor_beth" (Upstate NY USA) - See all my reviews (TOP 10 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

This is the latest book from the Emily Post Institute, the established authority on all things etiquette. Some might wonder about the relevance of an etiquette book to the 21st century, but in her introduction, author Peggy Post explains that the Institute continues to receive thousands of questions every month. In this book, Peggy sets out to answer some of the most common of those questions, ranging from the more traditional ("What do I do when I'm introducing someone and suddenly forget their name?") to the thoroughly modern ("I met my boyfriend through an online dating service...").

Post has organized one hundred of the most popular etiquette questions into fifteen main categories: Conversations: The Good, The Bad, and The Awkward; How Rude!; "Delighted to Meet You"; Manners at Work; Getting the Word Out; The Perfectly Polite Date; Family Matters; Kid Stuff; Let's Eat!; "Reservations, Please"; Out and About; It's Party Time!; Gifts Galore; Wedding Bells; and In Sad Times. Each section contains anywhere from two to twelve or more questions about that topic. The general format is that the question is presented ("When eating family-style, which way should food be passed?"), the basic answer is given ("Technically, food is passed around the table in a counterclockwise direction, or to the right."), and finally, some additional information/guidelines are included ("Top Dinner-Table Manners Goofs").

Given this book's extremely easy-to-read format and rather short length (<300 pages), I was able to finish it in just a few hours. I found it to be interesting, engaging, and even amusing at times, but on the whole, there wasn't really much here which I found all that new or revealing. Maybe these things aren't common knowledge in today's culture, but personally, I already knew that avoiding white past Labor Day was unnecessary, that it IS necessary to be on time for job interviews, that I should use the outside fork first, that you really don't have up to one year after a wedding to send a gift, etc. Where this book was most helpful was in giving suggestions on how exactly to word responses in a wide variety of particular circumstances, but because each of these situations was so specific, I found that most of them didn't apply to me.

So, although this is a well-written, generally likable little book, it is probably not a necessary or relevant one for most people. However, if you find yourself frequently facing etiquette dilemmas and at a loss for exactly how to respond, this simple manual might be just what you need. So, 4 stars for quality, 3 stars for content, and an overall score of 3.5 stars.

10 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Fun to read but ..., November 15, 2006

By	AkS "Windy City Reader" (Chicago, IL) - See all my reviews

Like the other reviewer said, this is a fun little book to read. But many of the suggestions are common sense ... I can see how this book would be helpful in modern-day dilemmas such as public cell phone use, or cutting in line at the grocery store. Since it is such a quick read, I would recommend that everyone read it atleast once, as a refresher course. Perhaps you may be guilty of annoying habits and not know it. :)

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Surprisingly engaging, if you please!, February 13, 2007

By	Jean E. Pouliot (Newburyport, MA United States) - See all my reviews (TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

This review is from: "Excuse Me, But I Was Next...." CD: How to Handle the Top 100 Manners Dilemmas (Audio CD)

I selected this book on a lark, fully expecting my interest to wane somewhere around page 25. Surprisingly, I not only finished the book but recommended it to a friend.

The book covers 100 etiquette dilemmas that turn up in everyday life. Everything from what constitutes black tie and white tie down to whether an e-mail thank you is ever appropriate. Others topics include what is reasonable to expect on a toddler play date, whether to invite siblings to a children's birthday party, how to set a proper formal table and what to tip your nanny. Also, whether black and white are appropriate colors at weddings and whether bright colors can be worn at funerals.

The tone of the book is far from the censorious or supercilious tone one might expect from an etiquette manual. To Peggy Post, etiquette is used to make others feel comfortable and to prevent hurt feelings that can ruin a group's ability to enjoy itself. Etiquette is not meant as a sieve by which one artificially separates class from trash. It is primarily aimed at considering the feelings of others. It is not about enforcing class distinctions, moral codes or gender or age norms. The right person to open a door is whoever gets there first. It is perfectly fine for women to offer to assist men who are struggling under a load of packages. And so on.

Post even tackles "moralish" questions about whether to say grace at a dinner party and whether to follow along with the religious practices of another faith at weddings or funerals. The message is clearly to be oneself in a way that does not insult the other party. Post also breaks some new ground in the contentious areas of whether to wear white after Labor Day. But you'll have to read the book to get that scoop.

Peggy Post's book is delightful, urbane, gracious and charming -- not at all stuck up. It is full of wonderful examples that model proper responses to uncomfortable situations. Wait till you hear her response to a person asking nosy questions about an adopted child! Her response was perfectly clear, it set boundaries, but did so without a trace of cruelty. Just what you'd expect from a book on proper behavior.

I particularly enjoyed Susan Bennett's narration. She gave voice to the firm-yet-fun voice of Peggy Post without sounding smug or superior.