Customer Reviews

"Excuse Me, But I Was Next...": How to Handle the Top 100 Manners Dilemmas

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

This is the latest book from the Emily Post Institute, the established authority on all things etiquette. Some might wonder about the relevance of an etiquette book to the 21st century, but in her introduction, author Peggy Post explains that the Institute continues to receive thousands of questions every month. In this book, Peggy sets out to answer some of the most common of those questions, ranging from the more traditional ("What do I do when I'm introducing someone and suddenly forget their name?") to the thoroughly modern ("I met my boyfriend through an online dating service...").

Post has organized one hundred of the most popular etiquette questions into fifteen main categories: Conversations: The Good, The Bad, and The Awkward; How Rude!; "Delighted to Meet You"; Manners at Work; Getting the Word Out; The Perfectly Polite Date; Family Matters; Kid Stuff; Let's Eat!; "Reservations, Please"; Out and About; It's Party Time!; Gifts Galore; Wedding Bells; and In Sad Times. Each section contains anywhere from two to twelve or more questions about that topic. The general format is that the question is presented ("When eating family-style, which way should food be passed?"), the basic answer is given ("Technically, food is passed around the table in a counterclockwise direction, or to the right."), and finally, some additional information/guidelines are included ("Top Dinner-Table Manners Goofs").

Given this book's extremely easy-to-read format and rather short length (<300 pages), I was able to finish it in just a few hours. I found it to be interesting, engaging, and even amusing at times, but on the whole, there wasn't really much here which I found all that new or revealing. Maybe these things aren't common knowledge in today's culture, but personally, I already knew that avoiding white past Labor Day was unnecessary, that it IS necessary to be on time for job interviews, that I should use the outside fork first, that you really don't have up to one year after a wedding to send a gift, etc. Where this book was most helpful was in giving suggestions on how exactly to word responses in a wide variety of particular circumstances, but because each of these situations was so specific, I found that most of them didn't apply to me.

So, although this is a well-written, generally likable little book, it is probably not a necessary or relevant one for most people. However, if you find yourself frequently facing etiquette dilemmas and at a loss for exactly how to respond, this simple manual might be just what you need. So, 4 stars for quality, 3 stars for content, and an overall score of 3.5 stars.

Like the other reviewer said, this is a fun little book to read. But many of the suggestions are common sense ... I can see how this book would be helpful in modern-day dilemmas such as public cell phone use, or cutting in line at the grocery store. Since it is such a quick read, I would recommend that everyone read it atleast once, as a refresher course. Perhaps you may be guilty of annoying habits and not know it. :)

I selected this book on a lark, fully expecting my interest to wane somewhere around page 25. Surprisingly, I not only finished the book but recommended it to a friend.

The book covers 100 etiquette dilemmas that turn up in everyday life. Everything from what constitutes black tie and white tie down to whether an e-mail thank you is ever appropriate. Others topics include what is reasonable to expect on a toddler play date, whether to invite siblings to a children's birthday party, how to set a proper formal table and what to tip your nanny. Also, whether black and white are appropriate colors at weddings and whether bright colors can be worn at funerals.

The tone of the book is far from the censorious or supercilious tone one might expect from an etiquette manual. To Peggy Post, etiquette is used to make others feel comfortable and to prevent hurt feelings that can ruin a group's ability to enjoy itself. Etiquette is not meant as a sieve by which one artificially separates class from trash. It is primarily aimed at considering the feelings of others. It is not about enforcing class distinctions, moral codes or gender or age norms. The right person to open a door is whoever gets there first. It is perfectly fine for women to offer to assist men who are struggling under a load of packages. And so on.

Post even tackles "moralish" questions about whether to say grace at a dinner party and whether to follow along with the religious practices of another faith at weddings or funerals. The message is clearly to be oneself in a way that does not insult the other party. Post also breaks some new ground in the contentious areas of whether to wear white after Labor Day. But you'll have to read the book to get that scoop.

Peggy Post's book is delightful, urbane, gracious and charming -- not at all stuck up. It is full of wonderful examples that model proper responses to uncomfortable situations. Wait till you hear her response to a person asking nosy questions about an adopted child! Her response was perfectly clear, it set boundaries, but did so without a trace of cruelty. Just what you'd expect from a book on proper behavior.

I particularly enjoyed Susan Bennett's narration. She gave voice to the firm-yet-fun voice of Peggy Post without sounding smug or superior.

Ms. Post covers "the top 100 manners dilemmas" with a gracious style that is practical and appropriate for today's culture. Mostly common sense, these are worthwhile as reminders and provide a helpful look in the mirror for a little personal brushup. Every reader will have some kind of "aha!" moment as the author offers a treasure chest of polite and gracious responses to awkward situations. My favorite was the ultimate, polite rebuff to nosy questions: "why do you ask?" The book lives up to the classic comment on manners from Emily Post: "Good manners reflect something from inside - an innate sense of consideration for others and respect for self." It's an easy and worthwhile read.

We all have situations where we have to deal with rude people, or are not sure about the proper etiquette for an awkward situation, or just need a pointer on how to do something properly. With related topics organized together the book is laid out in a question and answer fashion. First the author presents a common question and then provides the appropriate answer. Sometimes there are additional related comments to further expand the reader's understanding. Some of the subjects are: Inappropriate questions and how to respond to them, Conversational blunders, Name Amnesia, Gifting at Work, Breakup Basics, Introductions, Dating Etiquette, Table Manners, Reservations, Tipping, Airplane Manners, being a good host, dealing with houseguests that won't leave, wedding presents, receiving lines, wedding showers, sending funeral flowers, hospital visits, and funeral dress. The book addresses both traditional situations where the average person might find their self as well as more contemporary situations. This is etiquette in the modern world and for the average person. Excuse Me, But I Was Next is a recommended read.

I did the audio book version and it was a great book to listen to for me. It showed me effective strategies to deal with rude and obnoxious people. You know when you are standing in line at the grocery store with that soccer-mom who continues to yap away on her cell phone without worry about the people around her or her little kid running all over the store. Or how about when you pull into a parking lot and someone else tries to beat you to it and doesn't look where they are going and nearly hits you or someone else? Well, learn some great solutions besides "let it go." This book also shows you ways to address issues head on and it allows you to "wake up" the offender while still not coming across as aggressive, rude, or obnoxious yourself. Pretty strategic. Also a good read on various etiquette questions and protocol that may help you in business or social settings.

Excellent good book. Appropriate for today's modern etiquette, and in tune with Emily Post. Modern day approach that is needed for all of today's modern society.

This book is not about "theory" it's about real-world "practice". It's very appliable to real life situations and you can see the book come to life in your day to day expierience. I highly recomend it.

Basically, if you're considering picking this up, you probably don't need it. If you're considerate enough to learn how to be well mannered amongst your peers, you probably already have decent manners. That said, this book will be a handy reference guide. It lightly covers a myriad of common "etiquette important" situations such as parties, weddings, funerals, graduations, table etiquette, etc. It also gives the reader advice in confrontational situations, such as how to talk to someone who has an offensive odour, if someone cuts you in a line, what to say if you or your husband may have said something offensive at a party, etc. It has a nice index in the back so this is great to pick up and look at in a pinch. I will say that this book is basically common sense, and if you are slightly familiar with common ettiquette, this will just be a nice second opinion. At the end of the book, I learned this: If in doubt, send a handwritten thank you. For anything (it seems).

I think this book helps deal with some of the upscale modern rudeness of today. Living in Southern California is a Real challange to ones patience and older style of upbringing.