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The Executioner Always Chops Twice: Ghastly Blunders on the Scaffold [Hardcover]

Geoffrey Abbott (Author)
3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)


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Book Description

March 1, 2004
A morbidly fascinating mixture of bungled executions ,strange last requests, and classic final one-liners from medieval times to the present day.

Sometimes it's hard to be an executioner, trying to keep someone from popping up to make a quip when they should have spectacularly sunk without a trace. Or to be told that the condemned to the guillotine won't have a last drink for fear of "completely losing his head." The business of death can be absurd, and nothing illustrates this better than these tales of the gruesome and frankly ridiculous ways in which a number of ill-fated unfortunates met (or failed to meet) their maker.

Did you know:
When Sir Thomas More was ordered to position his head on the block, he said "though you have warrant to cut off my head, you have none to cut off my beard?"

When the guillotine took three strokes to sever the neck of Isabeau Herman, the mob attempted to stone the executioner to death for cruelty?

After the English hanged the pirate Captain Kidd they chained his body to a stake on the Thames River as a warning to seafarers?

From the strange to the gruesome, from the weird to the completely unbelievable, The Executioner Always Chops Twice is popular history at its best: witty, lively, and wonderfully bizarre.


Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

A former Yeoman Warder at the Tower of London and author of numerous books on torture and the death penalty, Abbott offers a front row seat to more than 80 bungled executions in his latest volume (originally published by Summersdale in 2002), which comes complete with illustrations, famous last words and a crash course in modes of execution. The grisly tales range from botched decapitations in the mid-1500s to messy electrocutions in the late 20th century. Readers with strong stomachs should be able to get past the gory detail of these stories to root out the morbidly comedic tone Abbott often employs when relating famous last words, such as the flirty admonishments that Mary, Queen of Scots, gave to her executioners, or Sir Thomas More's demand that the guillotine cut off his head but not clip his beard. Such anecdotes show how the condemned maintained their dignity in the face of death. Though not for the faint of heart-or for readers who may feel that the death penalty deserves a more serious consideration-this book offers ghastly trivia and a good chill.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

Abbott's wide-ranging compendium of untoward happenings during executions throughout history is worthwhile just for the engrossing vignettes it relates, and its generous glossary of terms related to the hangman's craft makes it a convenient reference work as well. Its first part, "Methods of Torture and Execution," lays a fine foundation for the vignettes, communicating such pertinent information as the specifics of being hanged, drawn, and quartered, and the operational ins and outs of the guillotine and the Scottish maiden. Tales of individual executions include the familiar, such as Sir Thomas More's, with his famous assertion that his tormentors had the right to behead him but no right to harm his beard; and the obscure, such as wife-murderer Henry Thompson's, which he prefaced by blithely jumping off a chair to show how his hanging would proceed. Mere reveling in executions would be unseemly, so Abbott mentions their ostensible merits--deterrence, etc.--but really, what's more fun, gruesome anecdotes or pious apologetics? Mike Tribby
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 240 pages
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Press; 1st edition (March 1, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0312325630
  • ISBN-13: 978-0312325633
  • Product Dimensions: 7.2 x 5.1 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #902,771 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

11 Reviews
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Average Customer Review
3.8 out of 5 stars (11 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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18 of 18 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Interesting Read--An Entertaining Look At A Grisly Subject, April 11, 2005
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This review is from: The Executioner Always Chops Twice: Ghastly Blunders on the Scaffold (Hardcover)
I started reading this book expecting to find yet another collection of stories containing a kernel of historical truth and a mound of anecdotal inaccuracies. Too often the latter are added simply to tintillize the reader without bothering to check further into whether or not what is reported is the truth.

I must say I was pleasantly surprised to find that Mr. Abbott not only knows his historical facts but is able to present them in such a way that the reader does not want to put the book down. He does not spare us grisly details, yet does not overemphasize the gore. The stories of decapitations and hangings gone horribly wrong help us to understand why executions provided a unique form of "entertainment" for the myriad crowds who gathered around to watch the show. It also makes one glad that we are supposedly more humane today, although, as the book points out, even death by lethal injection does not insure the process will go swiftly and without any problems.

One aspect of the book is the manner in which it helps one to understand just what it was like to be an executioner. The job often was passed down from father to son, and there were reputations to be maintained. Other then for the occasional rogue, executioners were by and large men who tried to dispatch their victims as quickly and painlessly as possible. Too often rowdy crowds who hurled insults and even eggs and such at these men who were, after all, just doing their job, sometimes would result in a nervous executioner. And nervous executioners were prone to making mistakes, misjudgments and sometimes would have to literally run for their own lives if the job did not go well or if the sympathies of the mob were with the condemned. It was the first time I have read something from the point of view of the frightening looking man with the black mask over his head. Certainly not a popular profession!

I highly recommend this book for entertainment as well as knowledge of a subject few have endeavored to write about. I gave it a four simply because I found Mr. Abbot's habit of adding little stories after each chapter a bit distracting and out of place. Otherwise, if you have any interest in executions and believe in the motto "what can go wrong, will go wrong", even on the scaffold, treat yourself to this book!
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Gory, But Gripping, February 8, 2006
By 
Michael Z. Williamson (Greenwood, IN United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: The Executioner Always Chops Twice: Ghastly Blunders on the Scaffold (Hardcover)
Mr Abbott initially gives us an overview of some of the more grisly ways to meet an end, including dismemberment and deep-frying in oil. However, the presentation is detailed without being nauseating, which is quite a trick. Still, it's certainly enough to make one cringe.

The anecdotes are referenced enough to allow follow up research, without being overdone. This is an entertaining read, with a certain amount of black humor mixed in of necessity. It covers errors in execution, in reprieve, mobs and crowds, horrific mistakes that caused gory ends, and the people who went to their death with dignity, humor, or kicking and screaming. In this way, it gives a measure of insight into the condemned mind, and that of the executioner and crowd. Highly recommended.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars A remarkable collection of anecdotes about executions, April 22, 2010
By 
This review is from: The Executioner Always Chops Twice: Ghastly Blunders on the Scaffold (Hardcover)
Geoffrey Abbot's The Executioner Always Chops Twice: Ghastly Blunders on the Scaffold is a remarkable collection of anecdotes about executions. The subtitle is somewhat misleading though, as while many of the accounts are of executions where things went awry - usually in very unfortunate and gory ways - there are a number of other accounts involving strange turns, bizarre coincidences, genuine displays of wit in the face of death, and in a few cases, miraculous escapes.

The book's descriptions give you a feel for what the executions were like for all involved: the condemned, the executioner, and the witnesses. And it quickly becomes clear that the hangings, beheadings and other executions portrayed in movies and television bear little resemblance to the real thing. In particular, it becomes clear that while the crowds that flocked to see executions back when they were done in public wanted to see the condemned die, a bungled execution where the condemned's suffering was prolonged could turn the crowd against the executioner, sometimes violently as happened in the 1685 beheading of the Duke of Monmouth:

"The executioner first struck an agitated blow, inflicting a small cut, and Monmouth staggered to his feet and looked at him in silent reproach. Then he resumed his place and the executioner struck again and again. Still the head remained on the block, while his whole body writhed in agony. As the horrified fury of the crowd increased, the headsman threw down the axe, crying 'I cannot do it. My heart fails me.' 'Take up the axe, man!' roared the Sheriff, while the crowd cried 'Fling him [the executioner] over the rails!' So he took it up and hacked away, but the job had to be finished with a knife. A strong guard protected him as he went off, else he would have been torn to pieces."

A common problem with many hangings and beheadings was due to the executioner being drunk, which usually resulted in the job being done badly though sometimes it lent a black comedic turn to events, as in this instance:

"As reported in the Derby Mercury of 1723: 'Last month Will Summers and John Tipping were executed for housebreaking. At the gallows the hangman was intoxicated with strong liquor and, believing there were three for execution, attempted to put one of the ropes round the parson's neck, and was with much difficulty prevented by the gaoler from doing so.'"

And for sheer pluck in the face of imminent demise, one has to admire this Scotsman's bit of wit:

"The choice of the tree on which they were to be hanged was traditionally left to the condemned felon, and Scotsman Jock Donald accordingly selected a small sapling. When the sheriff pointed out that it was much too small, Donald replied 'Och, but I'm in no hurry; I'll just wait till it grows!'"

Abbot's style, whether citing original sources or providing his own re-telling, is highly readable, and with the accounts being fairly short, the book is ideal for reading done in short intervals, like when riding on the subway or bathroom reading. Entertaining as well as educational. Highly recommended.
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Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
Among the tortures mentioned in this book, many chroniclers believe that the 'boots' ranked high among those available to the courts; indeed, some called it 'the most severe and cruell paine in the whole worlde.' Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
scaffold steps, condemned cell, execution day
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Newgate Prison, New York, Lord Russell, Sing Sing, Will Purvis, Lord Balmerino, Tower Hill, Tower of London, William Calcraft, Captain Kidd, Charles-Henri Sanson, Jack Ketch, Lord Ferrers, Margaret Dickson, Old Bailey, Van Warmer, Anne Boleyn, Father Bunce, Jacques Moura, King James, King Louis, Mme Ticquet, Mme Verdier, Place Saint-Louis, Queen Elizabeth
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