Customer Reviews

The Exemplary Husband: A Biblical Perspective

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This book is excellent. Authored by Stuart Scott and the forward by John MacArthur. A couple of years ago I went to a conference where they focused one of the sessions on this book throughout the week. I will tell you that at that time I came back and begged forgiveness from my wife. Since that time I never actually read the book until now. It had some great reminders and also some insight that time did not permit at the conference.

The book is laid out in four sections:

1. A Husband's Recognitions: Foundational Truths for the Exemplary Husband

This section focuses on understanding God's sovereignty, sin, relationships and the husband's role. This really sets up the foundation for the husband and the man of God in the marriage role. Understanding who God is and who the man isn't.

2. A Husband's Responsibilities: Faithful Commitments of the Husband

This section focuses on worship, love, leadership, physical intimacy and
stewardship. I found this to be a section that deals with a subject that is often avoided: sexual intimacy. There were great reminders and also some great thoughts on the subject on the importance of sexual intimacy, but also the reminder that our marriages are not completely revolving around sexual intimacy. Sometimes, we as husbands, wish it were.

3. A Husband's Resolves: Fundamental Commitments of the Exemplary Husband

This section focuses on humility and service, sensitivity, helping wife with sin, communication and conflict resolution. This was a great section that lists out issues of those with pride and also shows you the aspects of a humble person. I really enjoyed this section as it showed me some things I really need to work on with pride and communication. Very practical and easy to follow.

4. A Husband's Regrets: Fatal Sins to the Exemplary Husband

This section deals with anger, axiety, fear and lust. It completely helps
the husband "nip these problems in the bud" and deal with them biblically.


I really enjoyed this book and would recommend this book to any and all husbands and also for those who are engaged as well. Very biblical book that focuses the attention on our calling from a biblical standpoint instead of some of the misconceptions of the secular viewpoint of what the Bible calls the man to be. The author changes the thought of the man being a dictator to the man being the godly leader who submits to Christ and readies his wife for eternity

This book is more about how a man can live a Biblically based life than specifically how to be a good husband. Perhaps 10-15 percent of the book is specific to the marriage relationship. That makes it a great book for discipling men in general. All areas of life and relationships in general are covered with specific strategies for overcoming sin to the glory of God (e.g. See your sin biblically and put-off/put-on). Highly recommended. BTW, for a book specific to the marriage relationship, I recommend The Complete Husband by Lou Priolo

The home is the most important area of ministry for husbands. It can also be the most difficult, and it is often the most neglected. The characteristics of an exemplary husband do not come naturally. Nor are they taught in school. We need help. Outside of the Bible, Dr. Stuart Scott's The Exemplary Husband is the best help I've found.

The Exemplary Husband is divided into four parts: A Husband's Understanding, A Husband's Responsibility, A Husband's Resolves, and A Husband's Regrets.

In part one, Dr. Scott gives the biblical and theological background for the rest of the book. Before a man can succeed as a Christian husband, he must understand who God is. He must also understand his own fallen condition, and he must know and understand what the Bible says about relationships, marriage, and the husband's role in marriage.

Part two deals with the husband's responsibilities. First and foremost, the exemplary husband must worship Christ alone. Other responsibilities of a husband discussed in part two are love, leadership, physical intimacy, and stewardship.

In part 3, A Husband's Resolves, Dr. Scott says that the fundamental commitments of the exemplary husband should be humility, service, sensitivity to his wife, helping his wife deal with her sin, good communication, and conflict resolution.

The book closes with part four, where Dr. Scott deals with those sins common to men that do great harm to a marriage: anger, anxiety and fear, and lust.

Strengths

The first thing I appreciate about this book is its layout and formatting. There are 4 parts, 21 chapters that fit neatly into the parts, and 372 pages. At the end of the book are nine helpful and practical appendixes along with several pages for notes. The text is divided into headings and subheadings with many bulleted lists in between, and there are wide margins and an extra space between every paragraph. All of this makes for easier navigation, reading, and note taking. Dr. Scott writes in a clear and simple manner. He thoroughly explains each concept, and there's hardly a wasted sentence.

I also appreciate the use of Scripture; it is easy to see what the book is based upon. There is scarcely a page without an appropriate, perfectly applied passage. At the same time, Dr. Scott seldom quotes other writers from outside the Bible. I found this refreshing.

The author sums up his book in these two points: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and lovingly lead and cherish your wife for the glory of God" (page 302). That is a fitting description of the book's message. Another statement that summarizes the book is that "God's will for every Christian husband is to shepherd and love his wife the way Christ shepherds and loves the church" (page 5). Because Dr. Scott has a high view of God and a burden for strong, biblical marriages, his standards are high. They should be, considering that Christ is the ultimate example of an exemplary husband.

Criticism

I agree with Dr. Scott that, though men and woman are equal in the eyes of God, they have been given different roles within marriage. In places, however, the book seems to imply that the husband has a higher level of maturity, wisdom, or sanctification--more like a father/daughter relationship. In chapter 15, Dealing with the Wife's Sin, the author gives steps to address minor sins--maybe, he says, the wife has yelled at the children. A suggested step is to "ask her to please take some time to think through what happened and whether or not she sinned in her thinking or actions." This sounds like a teacher's request to a student rather than a husband's request to a wife. A few other examples of this tone could be given. Perhaps the analogy between Christ's relationship to the church and the husband's relationship to his wife is pressed beyond what the Scriptures intended. In the same chapter, Dr. Scott writes: "We know that God grants us forgiveness on the basis of confession and sincere repentance, which is evidenced by a turning away from whatever sin is being confessed (Psalm 32:1). Since God has this conditional element to His forgiveness, it should be clear that our granting of forgiveness to others should also have a conditional element to it." While I agree that our repentance is necessary for God's forgiveness, it doesn't follow that we should require others to confess and repent before we forgive them. God is perfect; we are not. Christ is infinitely greater than His church, while husbands and wives are created equal.

Regardless of my criticism, which is based upon my imperfect perspective, I highly recommend this book to all husbands. It would be perfect for a men's group to study together. It would also benefit young, single men--I wish that I had read it a few times before I walked the aisle. And I hope to read it several more times; my marriage would be better for it.

Dr. Stuart Scott has been married for over 25 years. He earned his M. Div. from Grace Theological Seminary and his D. Min. from Covenant Theological Seminary. He is currently Associate Professor of Biblical Counseling at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY.

This is a great guide for understanding God's viewpoint when concidering how a husband should conduct himself. It also will help a person to understand why Christians take God's view of marriage so seriously.

If you're looking for a practical, applicable book on what a man of God looks like, how he thinks and works, all based on scripture rather than some man's ideas... get this book. Very helpful foundation of Christian beliefs as well as daily living examples and ideas to put your faith into daily life! I wish I'd had this book as a single teen, during pre-marriage counseling, as a new husband and as a new father.

This is the best book of this genre, in my view. Well written, clear and Biblical. If I could only keep one book on being a Christian husband (and I have many), it would be this book.

This book is a must read for the Christian man who desires a marriage that honors God. Author Stuart Scott uses the Bible to show that a husband is not only responsible for the material needs of his wife but also for her mental, physical and spiritual needs. Beginning with the evangelical idea that the end of all things is the glory of God, the author lays the foundation for the husband's attitudes and behavior in the marital relationship.

I especially enjoyed the section on the Biblical definition of love. In essence, Scott shows that love is a choice of the will. Whereas, love has an emotional aspect, it is not feelings alone that are the basis of love. He goes on to do a great job of debunking incorrect views of love.

The Christian husband is responsible for the spiritual development of his wife. This book brings great balance to the verse that says "...wives submit yourselves to your husband" by explaining that God intends for the husband is to be the servant-leader of his wife. He is to lead in such a way that he is worthy of her partnership. According to Scott, the Bible lays the bulk of the responsibility of the marriage relationship on the husband. This book demonstrates that if the husband loves his wife as prescribed by the Bible there will be a greater chance for marital fidelity.

If you really want to know what it means to be a husband, this book is for you. It teaches us about what God would desire us men to be and how God wants us to lead us toward him. For those starting out in marriage, those currently married, it is a fantastic book!

This book, lest some reviewers miss the point, is about God's plan for marriage as divinely inspired in His Word, the Bible. It is not about cultural differences, feminist "equality" nor male dominance. God set up the marriage relationship based on a hierarchy that pre-dates history. It is about establishing a leader, with others as followers, just as The Father can be thought of as the Head of the Trinity, with Jesus doing The Father's will. We, as Christians are His children. There is a family hierarchy based upon this holy Trinitarian hierarchy. It's thoroughly biblical and has nothing to do with whether or not one lives in 21st century America with its attendant notions of "equality" within marriages. Biblically speaking, while the Bible says a husband should cherish, serve and love his wife (and vice versa), it also says the husband IS, like it or not, the head of the household.

Of course, if the Christian does not set as his or her base of operations the Bible, the very Word of God, then she is free to set her own rules to demand "equal" parnership. But it is not biblical.

And therein lies a sticking point for unbiblical Christians; they want their marriages set up as contemporary cultural marriages rather than on how God says marriages should be structured. I am certain feminist readers will find much to object to here, but they'd better take it up with God, not with the writer of this book.

This isn't a book for wimps. The book's explanation of the demands of Christian Manhood is uncompromising, but manages at the same time to build up the reader. The presentation is Scripture-based and Christocentric. I also recommend buying the associated workbook.