The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children [Paperback]

Ross W. Greene (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 19, 2010

What′s an explosive child? A child who responds to routine problems with extreme frustration-crying, screaming, swearing, kicking, hitting, biting, spitting, destroying property, and worse. A child whose frequent, severe outbursts leave his or her parents feeling frustrated, scared, worried, and desperate for help. Most of these parents have tried everything-reasoning, explaining, punishing, sticker charts, therapy, medication-but to no avail. They can′t figure out why their child acts the way he or she does; they wonder why the strategies that work for other kids don′t work for theirs; and they don′t know what to do instead.

Dr. Ross Greene, a distinguished clinician and pioneer in the treatment of kids with social, emotional, and behavioral challenges, has worked with thousands of explosive children, and he has good news: these kids aren′t attention-seeking, manipulative, or unmotivated, and their parents aren′t passive, permissive pushovers. Rather, explosive kids are lacking some crucial skills in the domains of flexibility/adaptability, frustration tolerance, and problem solving, and they require a different approach to parenting.

Throughout this compassionate, insightful, and practical book, Dr. Greene provides a new conceptual framework for understanding their difficulties, based on research in the neurosciences. He explains why traditional parenting and treatment often don′t work with these children, and he describes what to do instead. Instead of relying on rewarding and punishing, Dr. Greene′s Collaborative Problem Solving model promotes working with explosive children to solve the problems that precipitate explosive episodes, and teaching these kids the skills they lack.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Flexibility and tolerance are learned skills, as any parent knows if they've seen an irascible 2-year-old grow into a pleasant, thoughtful, and considerate older child. Unfortunately, for reasons that are poorly understood, a few children don't "get" this part of socialization. Years after toddler tantrums should have become an unpleasant memory, a few unlucky parents find themselves battling with sudden, inexplicable, disturbingly violent rages--along with crushing guilt about what they "did wrong." Medical experts haven't helped much: the flurry of acronyms and labels (Tourette's, ADHD, ADD, etc.) seems to proffer new discoveries about the causes of such explosions, when in fact the only new development is alternative vocabulary to describe the effects. Ross Greene, a pediatric psychologist who also teaches at Harvard Medical School, makes a bold and humane attempt in this book to cut through the blather and speak directly to the (usually desperate) parents of explosive children. His text is long and serious, and has the advantage of covering an enormous amount of ground with nuance, detail, and sympathy, but also perhaps the disadvantage that only those parents who are not chronically tired and time-deprived are likely to get through the entire book. Quoted dialogue from actual sessions with parents and children is interspersed with analysis that is always oriented toward understanding the origins of "meltdowns" and developing workable strategies for avoidance. Although pharmacological treatment is not the book's focus, there is a chapter on drug therapies. --Richard Farr --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

"All parents should read this book, especially those with children who are out of control. Ross Greene presents a loving, rational, and research-based approach to dealing with problems that most parents have either felt were their own fault or were unsolvable. I could not recommend this book more highly."-- Edward Hallowell, M.D. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 336 pages
• Publisher: Harper Perennial; Rev Upd edition (January 19, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0061906190
• ISBN-13: 978-0061906190
• Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.3 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (233 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,138 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #3 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Special Needs
  • #45 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Parenting

More About the Author

Dr. Ross Greene is the originator of the Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS) approach described in his first book, The Explosive Child (now in a revised and completely updated fourth edition), and most recently in his newest book, Lost at School. Dr. Greene is also founder of a non-profit organization, Lives in the Balance (www.livesinthebalance.org), which provides free resources on the CPS model and advocates on behalf of behaviorally challenging kids and their parents, teachers, and other caregivers.

Dr. Greene is Associate Clinical Professor in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, on the professional staff at the Cambridge Health Alliance, Senior Lecturer in the school psychology program in the Department of Education at Tufts University, and adjunct Associate Professor in the Department of Psychology at Virginia Tech. He consults extensively to families, schools, inpatient psychiatry units, and residential and juvenile detention facilities, and lectures widely throughout the world (visit www.cpsconnection.com for a complete listing of learning and training options).

You can connect with Dr. Greene by using the Contact form on either website.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

300 of 303 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Finally, peace in our household, December 15, 1998

By 

Deanna Foster, [e-mail] (Portola Valley, California US) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, "Chronically Inflexible" Children (Hardcover)

After years of reading books on "strong-willed" or "difficult" children... and years of psychotherapy, Dr. Greene's fresh approach to what seemed an unsolvable problem has brought peace to our household for the first time in 8 years. I have bought a copy of this book for everyone that deals with my 10-year-old son: my parents, his teacher, his previous teacher, and the County Mental Health worker who is working with us on in-home behavior modification. I was very sceptical when I first learned of Dr. Greene's approach-- it sounded too easy ! But it truly, truly works.

Dr. Greene put into words what I had always known about my child, but couldn't express cohesively. My son used to have several "melt-downs" each week, and I always wondered how much control he had over his own behavior and emotions. Now I know the answer, and also can recognize the various stages of escalation leading up to a rage episode.

Applying Dr. Greene's "basket" principles, we haven't had a melt-down in 3 weeks, and my son's cooperation with our "basket A" and "basket B" requests is fantastic. No more melt-downs, no more frustrated adults. We actually have hope for a brighter future. Even school is going really, really well.

Many thanks to Dr. Greene for giving us an alternative to manage our "inflexible, explosive" (but lovable) children !

143 of 144 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Buy this book!, December 26, 1999

By 

Sherrilee (Detroit, MI) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, "Chronically Inflexible" Children (Hardcover)

As a teacher of children with behavioral and emotional disorders, I found Greene's book extremely useful. In the first part of the book, he explores inflexibility and explosiveness in children (and biological/chemical factors influencing such behavior.) This section alone is worth its weight in gold for helping parents and teachers take a closer look at what's going on with their kids.

The rest of the book is devoted to his "three basket" intervention method. I am beginning to use this technique in my classroom to help avoid "meltdowns" over issues that really aren't important and to help TEACH my students how to negotiate and cope in frustrating situations. I want my students to become more flexible not just because it makes it easier on me in the classroom; they'll be happier and less frustrated in school, at home, and out in the world.

I've recommended this book to many parents and colleagues.

154 of 157 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Time Bomb in My House, March 16, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, "Chronically Inflexible" Children (Hardcover)

The cover of this book caught my eye in the bookstore and I knew there must be something in there for me. I finally had some authoritative information on what my family has been through for the past 13 years. I've known our son was "different" since he was a toddler throwing his time-out chair at me and screaming, I just didn't understand why until now. The "pick your battles" basket approach Dr Greene uses puts daily frustrations and battles into perspective and gives the frustrated parent an extremely useful tool in learning to work with the time bomb in your house. Letting go of the notion that a child should behave a certain way and obey without question is very difficult for some parents to do but learning the art of negotiating with your explosive child and reducing the "meltdowns" in your life is well worth it.

The chapter on medications is very helpful for those not understanding what an important role they can play. Our son has been on Ritalin for ADHD since he was 3 1/2 and was finally diagnosed at age ten as also having bipolar disorder. After 2 hospitalizations in the past 2 1/2 years and 2 suicide attempts in the last year we are getting the correct mixture of 7 different medications that have finally helped stabilize his moods enough to actually begin to use the methods in the book. Dr. Greene has finally helped us find a major piece of the puzzle to being able to help our family regain some sanity in our lives.

Anyone who has ever looked down at another parent for not being able to control their child needs to read this book and walk a mile in their shoes. The parents of these children need a friend much more than they need another condescending comment on how to raise their children.