Customer Reviews

Exponential Apocalypse

5 star:		(7)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

A friend of mine told me about Exponential Apocalypse--I think he knows the author--so I was a little skeptical about it being any good. But it really is. It's a pretty solid story, pokes fun at a bunch of classic sci-fi staples, like robots, scientists, and zombies. Not to mention the end of the world. All in all an entertaining book, one of those books you start reading and then you look up and it's two hours later. It's definitely worth a read.

Exponential Apocalypse
There isn't much in pop culture that Eirik Gumeny doesn't send up in his funny and clever Exponential Apocalypse. The premise of the novel is that earth has experienced twenty-two Apocalypses already and is going for a twenty-third. The previous apocalypses, which promised to end our little sphere forever, but fell short, have left the planet populated by mutants, displaced gods (Thor, Quetzacoatl), clones of Chester A. Arthur and Queen Victoria, legions of undead and cagey robots. As the twenty-third apocalypse unfolds, and we follow the misadventures of his characters, Gumeny provides hilarious capsule histories of humanity's dim and doomed efforts to find opportunity in total calamity. The social satire brings to mind Vonnegut, T. C. Boyle and the Marx Brothers, not to mention the Three Stooges. Hipster talk bangs into technological jargon and the author's lexical shifts can give you whiplash: "My apologies to our janitor and your vaginas, gentlemen," says Quetzalcoatl. Figuring in the plot will be Daniel Boone's ghost, a knife attack by the Lollipop kids, and Burt Reynold's mustache. Gumeny is shameless with puns and jokes. In his explanation of why the days are suddenly shorter, Willian H. Taft XLII notes that "the sun's been all out whack since Mars fell into it. "It goes down more time in a day than a two dollar prostitute with bad ankles and an inner ear problem." Recommended for anyone who takes their apocalypses and zombies seriously, and anyone who doesn't.

Intelligent writing + Absurd Premise = A wonderfully and hilariously satisfying book. Consider it a light reading, coffee table kind of book. This should be the next show on Adult Swim.

It is books like this that make me glad I recently gave up and got a Kindle 3. Such a treasure and I would never have known. Eirik Gumeny takes a light and twisted look at the post-apocalyptic genre that is too much fun to be ignored.

In his afterword, he readily admits that the story may have been the result of too much caffeine, possible drugs (no word on whether or not they were illicit) and other assorted bad habits, but in truth it is pure genius.

The story unfolds as the 23rd apocalypse is shaping up for an appearance. The 22 previous ones were quite bad, but didn't so much end things as change them. Change as in making the sun no longer very reliable (after all, Mars falling into it is bound to have some effect) or making New Jersey the last really safe place in the former United States. Even better, there are clones of former leaders who can seriously kick buttocks (Taft with a rocket launcher anyone?). Throw in an enhanced and telepathic squirrel with cajones made of pure brass, murderous robots and the slightly more dangerous murder drones, fallen gods with alcohol problems and toilet issues and a few humans with no discerible differences from other humans and you have this book. Oh, yes, don't forget the army of useless liberal arts majors who wrest states from the former United States and create the Hobo Nation.

Warning: There will be puns. But they aren't bad ones and you'll likely laugh out loud and embarrass yourself in public just a wee bit.

This was a quick read not because it is so short, but because it flows so well and absorbs nicely. I thoroughly enjoyed it and highly recommend it. Like others have noted and like the author himself admits, it is clear that the writer is much influenced by Douglas Adams and other slightly off writers. But this isn't a trite rip-off of that style, but rather the first offering of an entirely new style that has some common elements with those other writers. I certainly hope I'll see more from this author.

Eirik Gumeny writes with a sharp sarcasm and wit that I love. The entire book is absurd to the point of being profound. One of the reasons that it works so well is that it makes no apologies for its absurdity. It would have been easy for the author to give the reader a small wink at some point - permission to say - "This story is insane, but that's okay - because I know it's insane." Instead, he plows ahead with no apologies and no pretense; no peek behind the curtain or reveal of the trick. What you get is the world of "Exponential Apocalypse" in all its glory.

I thoroughly enjoyed "Exponential Apocalypse". I racked my brain to come up with an intelligent, insightful explanation for why it's a great book that you should read. I could say that "It was funny, sarcastic, and very well written", but that sounded too trite. I could talk about its "genius in deconstructing the apocalypse novel genre and using humor to explore the inherent struggle between religion and technology in the modern world", but that sounded too pretentious. Instead, I decided to just pull a quote from the story -

"The president, the philosopher, and the scientists left the other president, the queen, the god, and the girl, and walked towards the encroaching horde of liberal arts majors and drug dealers."

Any book that can pull off that sentence as one of the more sedate moments in the story is worth reading.

Absolutely loved this book! If you are looking for a fun lighthearted read, this is one for your collection. Warning: Can be hazardous to your health!! Don't eat or drink while reading this book - some of the lines caused me to laugh out loud and I actually snorted diet coke out of my noise and onto my computer at one point... The characters are really well written and, hate to use the word since someone else already had, quirky. I recommend this book to anyone with a sense of humor

I don't write reviews but I thought this book deserved one. I'm not going to bore everyone with a long, indepth review, I just want to say this is one of the funniest books I have ever read and I can't wait for Gumeny's next one.

This is probably one of the quirkiest books that I've ever read. I'll be honest, it was the psychedelic cover that grabbed my attention. The prologue of the book with the fallen god of thunder, Thor - working in a NJ Holiday Inn hooked me.

I really tried to explain parts of the book to coworkers as I read the novel. It's just not a normal conversation to have. But I was really happy with this book and they could see it as I tried to make them understand what was going on.

How can you go wrong with a story that has the following: Thor, an insane Aztec god, genetic clones of former presidents, robots, irradiated werewolf rednecks, an entire state filled with hobos - not to mention the 20+ previous "end of worlds" that had befallen the earth previously?

Mr. Gumeny - not sure what you imbibed, smoked or otherwise ingested (maybe something in the water there in NJ), but this was an entertaining read for me. I don't know if the book will appeal to everyone the same way it did for me, but I have to say it's one of the most unique stories I've ever read.

One of my greatest guilty pleasures are those books that offer little more than loads of hilarious, entertaining fluff. These are the books that have all the depth of a rain puddle and often lack such novelties like complexity or even decent writing. I would likely deny it in person, but I love silly, random, and profane. I get a kick out of juvenile humor, snigger at curse words with glee, do not hesitate to delight in god awful puns, and love double entendres. Exponential Apocalypse fits right in.

If I were to stick to my usual standards and judge the book like any other, then I would have to admit that Exponential Apocalypse is not a good book.

The prose is... well, you can take that and throw it right out the window. The book is ninety to ninety-five percent dialogue and made up of chapters that range from a half a page to a whopping four. The narrative prose has no definitive style, instead of remaining consistent it adapts to suit the scenes. As such, the narrative voice can go from having a dry, factual tone to having one more akin to an overly enthused commentator. There is even one that I like to refer to as Deadpan Captain Obvious.

The characterization is lacking to the point that it may as well catch a ride with the prose. I can almost imagine it smacking against the sidewalk with a satisfying thud. One of the many things I often complain about is the lackluster characterization found among secondary characters, but Exponential Apocalypse manages to sidestep that in quite a unique way. It doles out the same amount of characterization for all characters... just a little more than none. We do not get to know any of the characters and spend no time at all in their heads, not that much would be gained from doing so because, well, our motley crew is not the brightest bunch. If I held any hope for character growth in this novel, I would need a microscope and plenty of time to sift through the mess out on the sidewalk. Even then, I would only come across minute amounts or none at all.

Perhaps then, I should mention that the characterization is saved from reaching nil by the book's vast amount of dialogue. If a book must consists almost entirely of dialogue, then one would hope that it is well written. Thankfully, Gumeny proves an able hand. It is his skill in writing dialogue that gives each character a distinct voice, one that allows him or her to not only stand out from the various, zany masses that inhabit this post-apocalypses world, but also stand separate from each other. This also means that the copious amount of conversations flow well and never descend to the level where they become a chore to read. But, as I mentioned previously, the chapters are short. It could be that the exchanges, which tend to provide at least some small bit of entertainment or hilarity, do not last long enough to reach that point.

The world itself is interesting in a way that only a world that has suffered twenty-two apocalypses can be. In other words, it is bat crap insane. This is a place inhabited by fallen gods, robots, werewolves, the undead, ghosts that power the internet, cyborgs, radioactive mutants synonymous with rednecks, and organized liberal arts cults. All of these, except maybe the last, have stemmed from an apocalypse or played a part in bringing one about-with some extending across multiple apocalypses. The world is well done, a place that feels random until you take a closer look and see the weird logic and happenstance that brought it all about.

If I stuck to my usual standards, I would have to admit that this book is not that good. Only, I am having a hard time doing that. Exponential Apocalypse is a hilarious book. It is silly, random, and chock full of profanity and violence. And... I really enjoyed it. I have no doubt that I will read it again at some point and I would not hesitate to recommend the book to others. When it comes to sheer entertainment value, there are worse ways to spend your money. And I know, that is not the best of compliments and this is not the most positive of reviews, but if you want a short, entertaining read that will make you laugh out loud... go for it. For all the book's faults, it was a fun read and I came away from it with a grin on my face.

Sometimes, that is all that matters.

Exponential Apocalypse, by Eirik Gumeny, is the first offering from Jersey Devil Press. It's the tender, heart-stirring tale of crappy jobs, a slacker cult, an alcoholic Aztec god, reconstituted world leaders, werewolves, robots, and the shenanigans of multiple persons living after the twentieth-aught end of the world. It's funny as hell and, according to the author's mother, incredibly profane. But, despite these potty-mouth tendencies, it is still the most hilarious thing you will ever read and your life will surely be changed for the better.