From the Back Cover
Ms. Barbara Ramey
PO Box 54143
Los Angeles, CA 90054
Dear MS. Ramey:
Thank you very much for answering my letter concerning the haunted sponge I bought from a Ralphs store. Ralphs has been and always will be the only store I shop in for my food and sponge needs.
In your letter to me you said that I would be hearing from the supplier of this songe. I have not heard from them. And this sponge is bad.
Can someone from Ralphs come and get this sponge from me? This sponge is out to get me. I am afraid.
After I got your letter I went down to my basement and locked that sponge in a steel box and put a chain around that box. Then I wrapped that box in tape and put a shackle around that. Then I boarded up the basement door with over 1000 nails. Then I put a manacle on that door. Then I went upstairs to my room to get a good nights sleep.
At about 3 o'clock in the morning I woke up and looked down. That sponge was right by my bed. I am scared. Please help me.
Also, do you sell Brillo at your store?
When will I hear from the supplier? I need to know. Thank you for your reply.
Ted L. Nancy
About the Author
Ted L. Nancy is a pseudonym used by Barry Marder. Marder is a comedian, former writer on "Seinfeld" and the co-writer of Dreamworks' animated hit "Bee Movie." He has written for Bill Maher, Jay Leno, & David Letterman.
He also wrote with George Carlin.
He is an enthusiastic and busy citizen who lives in Glendale, CA. (He moved there for the paranormal experiences.) He enjoys poppyseeds.