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Extraordinary Sex Hardcover – October 6, 1998


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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 336 pages
  • Publisher: Doubleday; 1 edition (October 6, 1998)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0385489552
  • ISBN-13: 978-0385489553
  • Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.4 x 1.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 3.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,796,528 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

This is one of those self-help books that asks you to choose what type of animal you are (lion, bear, bee, otter) and then gives suggestions for each type. Surprisingly, this seemingly dopey approach works very well. These four fauna are used as a workable shorthand for giving excellent advice about complementing and learning from one's partner to enhance sexual intimacy. Scantling, a psychologist, sex therapist, and coauthor of the intriguing Ordinary Women, Extraordinary Sex (Dutton, 1993), writes about imagination, communication, empathy, and flexibility?not about sexual techniques, plumbing, or dysfunctions. Her sample couples are heterosexual, but the advice transcends gender. Recommended for all public libraries as a companion to more general sex manuals for couples, such as Barry and Emily McCarthy's Couple Sexual Awareness (Carroll & Graf, 1990) and Douglas E. Rosenau's Christian-based A Celebration of Sex (Nelson, 1994).?Martha Cornog, American Coll. of Physicians, Philadelphia
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From the Inside Flap

Based on the help she has provided for the thirty to forty couples a week she has seen in her twenty years of clinical practice as a sexual therapist, Dr. Sandra R. Scantling has written a new erotic guide to restoring the vital connections that bring couples together and make it possible for them to enjoy extraordinary sex. This is not a sex manual; it is a book about achieving true intimacy--both in and out of the bedroom

Great sex is not dependent on being able to achieve contortionist positions or finding that elusive G-Spot; it is based, rather, on couples' becoming aware of those ineffable forces that originally brought them together--forces that may have been based on differences rather than similarities in style and personality, forces that now may be pulling these same people apart. Having achieved an understanding of these forces, they will be better able to communicate, achieve intimacy, and enjoy extraordinary sex. The first step toward understanding is self-awareness, and Dr. Scantling has devised a simple but accurate paradigm of the four basic personality types: Energizers, Stabilizers, Workers, and Pleasure-seekers. Through storytelling, anecdotes, and an easy-to-complete quiz, readers will learn to identify their own personalities and sexual styles--as well as those of their partners--and so to understand why they each behave as they do and--above all--how they can each modify their styles to achieve Extraordinary Sex Now.

This is an inspirational, must-have guide for any couple seeking to rekindle their passion. Dr. Scantling proves that lovemaking need never grow dull--that it can be an ongoing, joyous event, now and for the rest of our lives.

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Customer Reviews

3.4 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

16 of 16 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on June 17, 2000
Format: Hardcover
The first 125 pages or so described my marriage to a tee! I can honestly say that if both of us had read this book we might still be married. That is a HUGE statement to make about a book, and obviously both parties have to WANT to change, but I believe this book can help. The book breaks down the typical men and women are different writings that are so prevelant nowadays. Yes we are different. But why are we different? How are we different? Dr. Scantling makes the argunment that there are four different sexual styles and each has it's own description, M.O., definition, traits and style. After reading her description it was fairly easy to figure out what I am. But, I found that I also had the traits of the other three styles as well. THAT is what is so key to this book. It provides the ability for the reader to not only identify with one's self but with one's mate. It is like having the answers to the SAT prior to taking the test. It also gives key talking points that can be used to open up a dialogue between you and your mate.
I highly suggest you pick this book up if your marriage or relationship is in trouble. As I stated in my opening paragraph, if I had this about 18-20 months ago I might have not gotten divorced. Keep the lines of communication open between both of you, don't demeen your partner, remember why you married them and most of all - BOTH OF YOU MUST WANT TO DO THIS.
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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on May 20, 1999
Format: Hardcover
I found Extraordinary Sex Now to be a very readable self-help book. It is set apart from others of its ilk by its easy style and innovative approach to increasing intimacy. The quiz was fun to do by myself and with my partner. The "animals" are a great metaphor for understanding our individual personality types. It has been easy to talk about how the lion in me feels about how the bear in you is acting. It makes dealing with sensitive issues less threatening and more rewarding. I would recommend this book highly if you are at all interested in improving the quality of your relationship with your loved one. Go on. Read it!
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on May 12, 1999
Format: Hardcover
Dr. Scantling's latest effort cleverly addresses the fundamental problem arising in any relationship - that of knowing yourself and knowing your partner. Dr. Scantling has devised an animal metaphor - a simple and accurate way to remember one's strengths and weaknesses. Thus armed a couple can now perceive each other from a fresh vantage and help each other discover where problems may arise in their relationship. The couple may then work creatively with one another to balance their union. These efforts pave the way for a deeper, more intimate relationship as the partners challenge themselves to be more receptive to stretching the boundaries of their comfort zones which are framed by their animal archetypes. Dr. Scantling guides the reader through an entire process of self discovery and growth resulting in Extraordinary Sex Now.
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9 of 11 people found the following review helpful By pjreid@home.com on May 30, 1999
Format: Hardcover
As a clinician, and sex therapist treating couples for over 20 years I often recommend, Dr. Scantling's book to anyone seeking more passion in their relationship. It is full of practical ideas for individuals and couples who want to deepen their capacity for intimacy .
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on May 11, 1999
Format: Hardcover
From the shcolarly tomes through the breezy pop psych manuals, this charming and inspiring book stands above the crowd and cuts through all the formulae and formulations. Dr. Scantling combines clinical expertise with folksy wisdom and a rich personal voice to lead us to inspiring intimacy. Not a "sex" book. A life book!
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